Little Ears, Big Lessons: How to Help Kids Build a Healthy Body Image

The other day, my five-year-old Max said, “I need some protein so I can have big muscles.” I couldn’t help but laugh because I knew exactly where he heard that from – me. As a personal trainer, I focus on hitting my daily protein goals to build muscle and support a strong, resilient body. It’s something I enjoy because it helps me feel my best and show up fully for my kids.

How Our Words Influence Our Kids

While Max’s comment still makes me smile, it was also a good reminder that our words matter – a lot. What he said was technically accurate and kind of sweet, but it showed how much influence we have on the way our kids view their bodies. I’m not a parenting expert, but I do help people build a healthy body image. And one thing I know for sure is that nobody is born hating their body or thinking cellulite is gross.

It’s wild to think about, but we are our kids’ very first role models. That can feel overwhelming, but it’s also incredibly powerful. Our children are constantly absorbing how we treat and talk about our bodies. From small mannerisms to big statements, they’re taking it all in.

Being a Positive Role Model For Our Kids

Max often stands with his hands in his pockets just like my husband, Justin. Justin stands that way because his dad does as well. That kind of generational modeling applies to body image too. The way we talk about ourselves and others lays the foundation for how our kids will view their own bodies. Are we building something solid that supports confidence and self-esteem or something shaky they’ll have to unlearn later? It starts with awareness. Phrases like “Don’t take a photo of me, I look gross” or “I used to be much thinner” might seem harmless, but they leave a mark.

Awareness is the first step in becoming a positive body image role model. The truth is, we often send messages without realizing it. As moms, we move fast and think even faster. But if we want to raise confident kids, we have to slow down and reflect on our own beliefs and behaviors.

Taking Note Of How We Speak About Our Bodies

That means noticing how we speak about our bodies and gently challenging old thought patterns. Working on our own body image doesn’t just help us, it gives our kids a real-life example of what self-respect and self-compassion look like.

Here are a few common phrases that may send the wrong message, even if we don’t mean to:

• Negative self-talk: “I hate my thighs,” or “I need to lose 10 pounds before I can wear that.”

• Judging other bodies: “She shouldn’t be wearing that at her age,” or “She doesn’t have the figure for that.”
• Diet culture phrases: “I’m being so bad by having this cake,” or “We should skip dinner after that big lunch.”
• Exercise as punishment or reward: “We’ll need to walk miles to burn off that meal,” or “I went to the gym so I’ve earned this.”

These comments may seem minor, but they send clear signals that food must be earned, beauty has rules and bodies are meant to be judged. Our kids are listening and learning and we want them to feel strong, safe and worthy in their own skin.

Be Patient With Yourself and Start Small

This post only scratches the surface. I know how personal and challenging the journey of improving body image can be. It often takes years to unlearn the thoughts and habits we’ve carried for too long. Be patient with yourself. Be kind as you begin to unravel the beliefs you’ve inherited or absorbed over time.

Here are a few small but powerful ways to start reframing harmful thoughts:

• Speak kindly about your body, even when it’s hard. Try: “My body is strong,” or “These legs help me chase you at the park.”

• Ditch the bad food labels.  All food has a place. Model balance, not guilt.
• Celebrate what bodies do, not just how they look. Movement can be joy, not punishment.
• Avoid commenting on bodies. Focus compliments on kindness, effort or creativity.
• Let them see you rest and nourish yourself. Kids learn that self-care is part of health too.

Hey mama, you don’t have to be perfect. Just be aware. Building a healthy body image for ourselves and our kids takes reflection, unlearning and compassion. It’s deep work, but it’s powerful and so worth it, because their little ears and eyes are taking it all in.