My husband and I were on the airplane with our children, headed to visit grandparents. Fellow moms know what goes into preparing a family for a trip. It requires a lot of planning and effort. From packing checked bags to making sure the carry-ons are stocked with everyone’s favorite snacks to navigating an airport with little kids in tow. It’s a lot.
When we finally boarded and took our seats, I felt a small wave of relief. We made it. Then my husband turned to me and said, “I thought you downloaded shows on the ipad for Max?” And just like that, I realized I hadn’t downloaded a single show. Not one backup plan for a three-hour flight. How could I forget such an important piece of the puzzle? The one thing that could help make this flight smoother for everyone? Cue the guilt. Fellow moms, you know this guilt! It came fast and loud. The kind that makes you feel like you dropped the ball completely, even after doing a hundred other things right.
I Remembered Something A Veteran Mom-Friend Once Told Me
“Think about all the things you DID remember.” That one sentence stopped my thoughts from spiraling. Because she was right.
Since then, this simple shift in thinking has helped me move past not just everyday mom guilt, but also the layered guilt that can come with being a mom who works outside the home.
Like a lot of moms, I have an ongoing checklist running in my head at all times. Plus, the ones written on sticky notes, in my phone and scattered across my laptop. Yes, I know I should probably consolidate them. There is always something to do, something to remember, something that could slip through the cracks. And when something does? It’s so easy to fixate on it. To replay it. To let that one missed thing define the entire day.
My Mindset Shift: Taking Time To Acknowledge Everything I DID Do
But here’s what I’ve started to notice – I can list what I forgot instantly, but I rarely stop to acknowledge everything I actually did. As moms, we don’t keep score fairly. We count the one thing we missed and ignore the fifty things we managed. We measure our days by the gaps instead of the effort. So now, when I catch myself spiraling over something I forgot, I pause and mentally run through what I did remember.
I got two kids packed and to the airport. I remembered the snacks. I remembered the extra clothes. I kept everyone safe, fed and moving forward.
This isn’t a productivity hack. It’s not about becoming more organized or never forgetting anything again. Because we all know that is not realistic. This is a mindset shift. A way to interrupt the narrative that says you’re falling short and replace it with one that actually reflects the full picture. Because forgetting something doesn’t mean you failed. It means you’re carrying a lot. And maybe more importantly, it’s a way to model something better for our kids.
One Forgotten Task Doesn’t Erase Everything Else
They’re going to forget things. They’re going to make mistakes. And they’re going to learn how to talk to themselves by watching how we talk to ourselves. What if instead of spiraling, they learned to pause and say, “Okay, but what did I do right?” That’s a skill I would love my children to have!
That day on the plane, we figured it out. And I reminded myself that one forgotten task doesn’t erase everything else. So, if you forgot something today, big or small, here’s something for you to try – pause, take a breath and start counting what you remembered. You might be surprised by how much is on that list.
Cassidy Vineyard Pflanz
I’m originally from North Platte, NE, and Lincoln has been my home for more than a decade. My husband, Justin, and I have been married for almost ten years. We welcomed our first child, Maxwell, during the pandemic, and our youngest, Zoey, arrived in a much calmer chapter of history.
Justin and I are both small business owners—his in the motorsports industry, and mine as a personal trainer and social media manager. Our flexible schedules have allowed us to prioritize family life. When I have a spare moment, you can find me diving into photography, a good book, a favorite podcast, or the kitchen. Motherhood may not be as glamorous as social media makes it out to be—it’s demanding, exhausting, and often messy—but I can’t wait to share the beautifully messy journey with you!
