Being “Neighborly” Looks Different, But Still Matters

The word “neighborly” keeps popping up in conversations this summer. It’s a word that is not commonly used these days. My parents and grandparents were more apt to use this word than my children and grandchildren. I feel like I’m in the middle – growing up, hearing it frequently, but using different words in my conversations today. Words like kind, considerate and helpful.

What “Neighborly” Looked Like When I was A Kid

Growing up on a farm, our neighbors were an extension of our family. During the summer, the kids would gather at someone’s farm to play, go fishing or horseback riding. If chores needed to be done, everyone would pitch in so we could get back to playtime. Extra chairs were pulled up to the table to share breakfast, lunch and sometimes dinner. If someone were ill or injured, neighbors would show up to feed the livestock, plant the crops or harvest them.

No one felt obligated to help. No one felt it to be burdensome. And no one kept track of who needed help or how many times. We were neighbors and that’s what neighbors do – watch out for each other, show support during good or troubled times and lift each other up with acts of kindness and caring.

What “Neighborly” Looks Like Now

In looking at today’s world, we have added more formal ways of showing neighborliness. We have created Random Acts of Kindness groups (RAK) and Altruistic Society’s. We sign up for opportunities to collect food, serve meals, deliver meals, donate clothing, repair houses and build houses. The list of opportunities to serve others is endless, as are the needs.

As a parent and grandparent, I hope to instill both the traditional and formal ways of serving others. I want my children and grandchildren to learn about and experience the goodness in joining forces to serve others throughout our community, state, nation and world. But I also want them to know the joy of meeting their neighbors, calling them by name and treating them like family. I want them to share in the celebrations and the sorrows. Most of all, I want them to lend a helping hand and be neighborly.

Tearing Down Fences and Building More Front Porches

Years ago, my husband and I were sitting in church listening to the sermon. The minister spoke about the need for more front porches to sit, greet and get to know our neighbors. He talked about the trend of putting up fences – tall fences that block our view of the neighborhood. He saw people pulling into their driveways, the garage door opening to let them in, and then closing behind them. Leaving them with a patio and a view of a fenced backyard. He challenged us to tear down the fences and look beyond our yards and our needs.

That fence message echoed in our minds. We tore down the fence that day.

Acknowledging that it’s not always possible to build a front porch or safe to remove a fence – there are driveways, sidewalks and doorbells that can be used to greet, meet and create a community filled with neighborly acts of kindness, and caring support.

Open Your Doors, Check On Your Neighbors and Lend a Helping Hand

Why are we using the word “neighborly” more frequently? Why the sudden resurgence? I believe we are witnessing the word in action increasingly – on the streets we live, in our community, across the nation and throughout the world. Not only are we watching and reading about these acts of compassion on television, in the newspaper and social media, but we are also opening our doors, checking on our neighbors and lending a hand when storms create havoc, temperatures rise or drop dangerously and electricity goes out. We give, we receive and the word neighborly is not so old-fashioned anymore – it suddenly becomes an important part of our daily vocabulary and actions.