Does the thought of a summer vacation kind of stress you out? Do you ever come back from a “getaway” feeling more drained than when you left? Same.
Traveling with little humans is a full-contact sport. As the mom, I’m not just packing the snacks and sunscreen, I’m mentally preparing for every possible meltdown, lost stuffy or snack emergency. I’ve got lists on paper and backup lists in my head, all in service of making sure my 2-year-old and 5-year-old have the best time ever.
Because let’s be honest, a lot of pressure gets placed on moms to make vacations magical (and let’s be real, Instagram worthy) for our kids. But at what cost? Our time, our energy, our mental and emotional bandwidth.
Flipping the Script
What if this year we flip the script, just a bit? What if we build in ways for moms to feel good, grounded and actually present on vacation too?
I’ve realized I often head into trips with two competing goals: give my kids the time of their lives and create a Pinterest perfect experience. That’s a lot of pressure and not much room for me to actually relax. As someone who loves sharing our adventures online, I can get caught up in curating the “perfect” moment. On our last trip to Colorado, I had a vision of my kids holding hands with Garden of the Gods in the background. Bless my husband for trying to make it happen. The photo wasn’t perfect but it captured something real and beautiful, this wild sweet stage of life.
1. Create a “Joy List”
Now, before we even leave, I try to set a “realistic joy list,” a few things I’d love for me. I remind myself to go with the flow (and stay neutral about how that flow unfolds). My kids don’t need perfection. They need my presence and a mom who’s in the moment, even when it’s messy.
2. Protect Your Peace
Constant caretaking and nonstop noise drain me faster than a phone on 1%, especially on vacation. I’ve learned that protecting my nervous system isn’t a luxury, it’s survival. As an early riser, I soak up the calm before the chaos by sipping coffee solo and popping on my noise canceling headphones to listen to a favorite podcast. It’s my mini mental spa.
Later in the day, even a five minute solo walk or a few pages of my latest romantasy read (yes, I’m still thinking about the high Fae) can reset my nerves and refill my patience tank. Tiny moments, big impact.
3. Communicate Your Needs
It’s so easy to fall into the “martyr mom” trap, doing it all, all the time, without asking for a break. But here’s the truth: you’re allowed to have needs, especially on vacation. Communicate them with your partner, family or whoever you’re traveling with. Maybe that means rotating childcare duties so you get time to yourself or simply speaking up when you’re feeling burned out and need backup.
Better yet, plan your breaks ahead of time. For me, daily movement is non-negotiable, not just for my body but for my mental health and emotional regulation. My husband is great about taking the kids for some rowdy play so I can sneak in 30 minutes of exercise. And if it’s not 30? That’s fine too. A little movement is always better than none.
You Deserve to Rest and Recharge Too
Our kids pick up on our energy, whether we’re calm and present or running on fumes. When we manage our expectations, protect our peace and ask for help, we’re not just surviving vacation. We’re modeling emotional health, balance and boundaries. I want my kids to remember a mom who laughed, rested and soaked in the moment, not one who was constantly frayed and frazzled.
So let’s choose presence over performance. Joy over martyrdom. Stop waiting until the kids are grown to enjoy your vacations. You deserve to rest and recharge too.
Because when moms are supported, everyone has more fun.
Cassidy Vineyard Pflanz
I’m originally from North Platte, NE, and Lincoln has been my home for more than a decade. My husband, Justin, and I have been married for almost ten years. We welcomed our first child, Maxwell, during the pandemic, and our youngest, Zoey, arrived in a much calmer chapter of history.
Justin and I are both small business owners—his in the motorsports industry, and mine as a personal trainer and social media manager. Our flexible schedules have allowed us to prioritize family life. When I have a spare moment, you can find me diving into photography, a good book, a favorite podcast, or the kitchen. Motherhood may not be as glamorous as social media makes it out to be—it’s demanding, exhausting, and often messy—but I can’t wait to share the beautifully messy journey with you!
