Being Phased Out of Everyday Updates From My Grandkids

One of the things I miss about having three of our four grandkids in Kansas City is knowing what they’re doing and what they’re thinking. I don’t expect to be informed about everything or even know what they had for lunch. I don’t even remember what I had for lunch! But now, I usually just hear about the big events in their lives, and it’s often given to me after the fact through their moms.

Missing the Little Things

When they lived in Lincoln and I heard about an event a little late, I could always squeeze in a trip to cheer them on or run over to their homes to give them a hug.

But then I started thinking, “Was this grandma pouting? Was this grandma being a spoiled brat?” I stopped and realized I wasn’t their mom. I’m not the most important person in their life. My grandkids were sharing things with their moms and that is what’s important and how it should be.

Keeping the Lines Open

This got me thinking, “How did I keep my grandmothers in the loop? How good was I at keeping open the lines of communication?” I realized I didn’t communicate every day with my grandmothers. I didn’t avoid talking to them; I just thought I was too busy with my activities, and I always knew my mother would keep them informed. At least I assumed she would.

As I reflected on my granddaughter’s early years, I realized that my grandkids kept me up-to-date more than I ever did with my own grandmas. Yes, the shame began to creep in!

Communication Then vs. Now

Communicating is also very different today than back in the good ole days. Today, I may text my grandkids to share news or what’s going on in my life. They don’t always respond, but they usually reply with a heart or a thumbs up.

There was no social media when I was growing up. The only thing that came close to social media was having the one family phone on a party line with your neighbors. You could hear what your neighbors were talking about, but you really couldn’t listen for long because the neighbors could hear the clicks of someone picking up or hanging up the phone. Social media back in my day was talking to friends face-to-face.

Remembering My Grandmothers

Recently, I find myself thinking about my grandparents a lot. Last year for Christmas, my daughter got me a Storyworth book. Each week we were assigned to respond to a specific question. At the end of the year, the stories were printed and bound together. The title of the book is called, “Nancy Becker, A Collection of Life Stories.”

This gift was a wonderful reminder of how I need to remember my grandparents. Several of the assignments were prompts like “How did your grandparents earn money?” or “Do you have any particularly vivid memories of your grandparents?”

I’ve also thought a great deal about my grandmas as I look around our house. I have a bureau, a pool table, a pie pantry and other pieces of furniture which I love and dust every week. I wonder what I’ll do with these pieces that my grandkids don’t want. I’m not going to worry about it—that’s for sure!

As we grow older, role reversals can be difficult. I’ve learned to roll with the punches and embrace the change and keep in my lane.