I was scrolling through my photos the other day and noticed how few include me with my kids. I have plenty of adorable snapshots of my two children and tons of great shots of my husband with them, both candid and posed. I genuinely love taking photos on my phone or camera and my favorite subjects are always my kids. Every milestone and every sweet or silly moment gets recorded.
Moving Out From Behind The Camera
I am not alone. Many moms end up behind the camera doing everything we can to preserve these fleeting moments. I admit there are times I shy away from being in the photo because I am not happy with my outfit, my hair is a mess, I feel self‑conscious about my body or I dislike the angle of my chin.
I am working on changing that. At my grandma’s ninetieth birthday party I asked a friend to snap a photo of me with my family as soon as she walked in. Otherwise, I would have left without a single picture of myself with the people I love most.
It is easy for a mom to avoid the front of the camera for many reasons. Maybe it is the dark circles under our eyes, spit‑up stains on our clothes or simply not feeling put together. These are the things I notice in a photo but that is not what my kids will see now or years from now.
They will not see the flaws I fixate on. They will see love. They will see joy, comfort and connection. My kids will not care what size jeans I was wearing; they will just be glad I was there. That is what matters. They need to see me, their mom, inside the memories and not only as the one capturing them.
Think Legacy Not Perfection
We need to put vanity and insecurity aside and remember that this is not about perfection; it is about legacy. Being in photos with our children is an act of visibility and love. It shows them we were fully present in their lives and it gives us a powerful chance to model self‑acceptance and confidence.
For me that means showing up in the frame for Max and Zoey. I want them to grow up with a healthy relationship to their bodies, their appearance and how they nourish themselves. To teach that I have to live it – to let go of the idea that I must look a certain way to be seen and embrace the truth that being seen is what matters.
I cherish old photos of my mom from when I was small and I treasure images of my grandma surrounded by her three daughters. These pictures tell a story not just of what we looked like but of how we lived, loved and showed up for one another. When we choose to be in the photo we are not only capturing a moment; we are giving our kids and ourselves a visual story of the life we lived together.
Let us start shifting our mindset little by little and take the photo anyway. Snap it even if your hair is in a messy bun, the laundry is piled behind you or your T‑shirt bears the evidence of breakfast. One day your children will scroll through these images and see only what matters: the mom who loved them enough to step into the frame.
Ways To Make It Happen
- Hand off the phone. When a sweet moment strikes, pass the camera to your partner, a friend or your oldest kid and ask them to click away.
- Use the self‑timer. Prop your phone on a windowsill or stroller, set the timer and hop into the shot.
- Say yes. Whenever someone offers to take a picture of you with your kids, accept without excuses.
- Set a reminder. Add a monthly calendar alert that simply says Get in one photo. Tiny habit, big payoff.
- Embrace the selfie. They are quick, easy and your kids will love huddling in close.
These moments are fleeting and perfection is a moving target so do not wait for flawless hair, smaller jeans or a tidy house. Moms are a big part of every memory and our faces deserve to be in the photos that tell the story.
This summer and every season, be sure to jump into the frame with your messy bun and stained shirt. Be visible and be present. Your kids and your future self will thank you.
Cassidy Vineyard Pflanz
I’m originally from North Platte, NE, and Lincoln has been my home for more than a decade. My husband, Justin, and I have been married for almost ten years. We welcomed our first child, Maxwell, during the pandemic, and our youngest, Zoey, arrived in a much calmer chapter of history.
Justin and I are both small business owners—his in the motorsports industry, and mine as a personal trainer and social media manager. Our flexible schedules have allowed us to prioritize family life. When I have a spare moment, you can find me diving into photography, a good book, a favorite podcast, or the kitchen. Motherhood may not be as glamorous as social media makes it out to be—it’s demanding, exhausting, and often messy—but I can’t wait to share the beautifully messy journey with you!
