Learning to drive is a rite of passage. At some point, everyone takes a turn. I remember the joy of turning 16 and getting my first real driver’s license. It meant that I could officially take our two-tone brown 1976 Granada down to McDonalds for a Coke all by myself. My mind was all about independence and how grown-up I felt.
My oldest daughter turned 16 last month. A year ago she got her learner’s permit and has spent the last 12 months “practicing”.
After driving my kids all the way to Timbuktu and back 5,000 times over the years, I couldn’t wait to have an extra driver in the house. But, that feeling changed when I climbed into the passenger seat next to my 15-year-old who offered to drive me to the grocery store. Parents of new drivers know the feeling: white knuckles from gripping the door handle and trying your best to keep from constantly saying:
“Look out!”
“Make sure you come to a full stop.”
“Don’t trust other drivers — they could be texting.”
“Did you look over your shoulder before you changed lanes?”
“Don’t take turns so fast!”
“You’re going to have to back out and try this again.”
“Are you watching your speed?”
“You need to think about getting in the other lane.”
“Where are you going?”
My daughter was — and still is — a very careful new driver. In fact, she tells me everything that I am doing wrong while I am driving. Now that she is old enough to take the wheel on her own, I can share what I have learned through the process.
Invest in a Driver’s Education Course
Yes, it costs, but it is so worth it. The class covers everything you have forgotten in the 30 years since you learned to drive, and they take your child out to practice parking and driving on gravel roads and highways. Plus, they show scary videos about how dangerous driving can be.
Practice, Practice, Practice
Like anything else, practice builds confidence and improves skills. The more I let my new driver drive me around, the more comfortable she — and I — became. By the time she turned 16, I was confident with having her behind the wheel.
Work at Instilling Confidence in Your New Driver
It can be hard to not point out everything your new driver is doing wrong while sitting in the passenger seat, but all that does is cause panic and make everyone’s blood pressure go up. Make an effort to find the positives and point them out; it will go a long way to help create a comfortable and confident driver.
Change the Way You View Other Drivers
After teaching my daughter that it is OK to take it slow on the road when others are speeding around you, I will never get frustrated or “ride the fender” or honk (God forbid) when stuck behind a slow driver. For all I know, the car in front of me has a nervous 15-year-old inside trying to navigate a busy street for the first time.
Thankfully, my family is still in the honeymoon phase where our daughter happily takes her brother to and from soccer practice and her sister to Target whenever she wants to go. I’m going to enjoy it while I can because in about eight months, our second child turns 15 and we will start this process all over again!
Anne Blankenbiller
K-12 & Teens
Most of my mornings, afternoons, and evenings are spent driving the kids here and there—and then back to here again. Every child is a gift on loan from God. As parents, our job is to raise that child to be an independent adult who can contribute to the world using the gifts and talents he or she was given. It is hands-down the most important job on earth!
