Matching pajamas. A perfectly set table. A gorgeous Christmas tree. Hot chocolate in holiday mugs. Smiling kids looking at the camera. Presents wrapped in coordinating paper. That’s the picture social media paints of the “perfect” holiday season. But behind every one of those photos is a whole lot of mom power – planning, prepping and holding it all together.
For most moms, the holidays are both beautiful and messy. There’s joy, yes, but also exhaustion, overstimulation and emotional pressure. Every year around Thanksgiving, the world tells us to “soak it all in,” “enjoy every moment,” and “they’re only little once.” But what if you’re just trying to keep everyone alive, the rolls unburned and your sanity intact?
Gratitude Doesn’t Mean Loving Every Moment
It’s the season of gratitude, but sometimes it’s hard to feel grateful when you’re overwhelmed. Gratitude doesn’t mean loving every moment – it means learning to hold both the good and the hard at the same time.
As a mom, hearing “enjoy them while they’re little,” sometimes gives me anxiety on top of the already constant hum of day-to-day motherhood. When people say it, I immediately start questioning myself: Am I enjoying them enough? Am I present enough? Will I look back and regret not soaking it all in? It’s a lot of pressure to feel grateful and joyful every second, especially when those seconds are filled with spilled milk, tantrums and laundry piles.
But the truth is, real gratitude doesn’t always look like joy. Sometimes it looks like taking a deep breath in the middle of the noise. It looks like admitting that something is hard and still finding one small thing that feels good.
It’s Okay To Be Thankful AND Tired
I’m learning that I can be thankful and tired. I can love my family and need a minute to myself. Gratitude isn’t about pretending everything’s perfect. It’s about noticing what matters, even when it’s messy.
As we head into the holiday season, everything tends to feel a little louder, with family dynamics, overstimulation, unmet expectations, even grief. I have to remind myself that it’s okay to feel off, even when everything looks fine from the outside. Gratitude doesn’t have to be loud or performative. It can be quiet like a deep breath between moments instead of a highlight reel on Instagram.
Maybe gratitude just looks different for moms. The pressure to be constantly grateful and positive is exhausting and honestly, I’m already tired most of the time. For me, gratitude has become less about perfection and more about awareness.
It’s being tired but thankful for the tiny hand resting on mine. It’s dinner that feels chaotic, but being grateful for the laughter spilling out between bites. It’s being overwhelmed, yet thankful that I care enough to keep trying.
Gratitude in motherhood is finding one small thing that feels good right now like a warm cup of coffee, a few quiet minutes, or simply the chance to sit still and breathe.
Pausing Long Enough To Notice The Good That’s Already Here
Motherhood evolves, and so does what gratitude looks like. Some seasons it’s big and emotional like the kind of gratitude that brings tears to your eyes. Other times it’s small and quiet, tucked into the in-between moments of everyday life. And realistically, it’s often a mix of both in the span of a single day.
As the holiday season speeds up, remind yourself you don’t have to love every moment to be deeply thankful for your life. Gratitude isn’t about pretending or curating the perfect Instagram photo (though let’s be honest, I’ll always appreciate a great photo). It’s about pausing long enough to notice the good that’s already here. The warmth, the laughter, the effort, the love.
Because when we notice those things, even for a second, that’s where real gratitude lives.
Cassidy Vineyard Pflanz
I’m originally from North Platte, NE, and Lincoln has been my home for more than a decade. My husband, Justin, and I have been married for almost ten years. We welcomed our first child, Maxwell, during the pandemic, and our youngest, Zoey, arrived in a much calmer chapter of history.
Justin and I are both small business owners—his in the motorsports industry, and mine as a personal trainer and social media manager. Our flexible schedules have allowed us to prioritize family life. When I have a spare moment, you can find me diving into photography, a good book, a favorite podcast, or the kitchen. Motherhood may not be as glamorous as social media makes it out to be—it’s demanding, exhausting, and often messy—but I can’t wait to share the beautifully messy journey with you!
