Summer Reflections & Prepping for Back to School

This week, we’re going to roll into a tribute to summer and talk about getting into the swing of back to school.

• “Good Enough” Parenting: Perfection Not Required

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Our Summer Glimmers & Dimmers

But first, let’s go ahead and start with our glimmer and our dimmer.

Rachel’s July Glimmer

My glimmer this month is my daughter Finley. She’s learning to talk and she turns two in a week. We had just got done with the 4th of July. My kids do gymnastics because my husband coaches gymnastics, so we’re at the gym a lot. My daughter Finley doesn’t take class but was wearing an American flag leotard, because any time her older sister wears a leotard, she wants to put on a leotard.

So she walked into the gym, and this other mom was sitting there and said, “Look at you. You’re so patriotic.” And she looks at the mom and says, “I’m not patriotic. I’m Finley.” It was just so cute because kids take everything so literally. It was just a little glimmer and I’ll never forget what she said. Her speaking is just so cute right now, and I cannot get enough of it.

Ashlee’s July Glimmer

We both had glimmers this time around. We do a little 3rd of July thing with some friends. For the past couple of years, I feel like there’s been something that’s not gone quite right. Like, one time a firework tipped over. We resolved that and now have bricks around everything. And then we had one where we had this blowup. And then oddly enough, someone broke their arm. And we were like, oh my gosh, how does this keep happening? This year’s has come and gone, and no injuries or blowing up of anything. That is a win. Woohoo! My curse has been broken.

Then my half is that we’ve had a lot of family rolling into our home, which has been amazing. But also I’m feeling that struggle of keeping up on my household stuff. And I talked to Rachel the day before, and she was like, “How about Finley and I come over and help you clean tomorrow morning?” I was just like, “That sounds really great.” I was not feeling motivated to clean. I was not feeling motivated to do much of that. So then she shows up with a coffee, and we clean and chat. It was really good. And my windows – guys, you have probably seen gross windows, but nothing like these windows of mine and nothing like the table and underneath the table. Oh my gosh. She cleaned that and I will forever love her for it. I have been admiring the view from my windows the past two days, realizing just how good they look. That’s a glimmer of good friends and a sweet offer that made my whole day.

A Tribute to Summer Memories

When this airs, it’s going to be back-to-school time. Summer’s ending, and in the middle of summer, sometimes we’re in the moment of the emotions. We’re home altogether, which we talked about in one of our last episodes. But we both realize that sometimes at the end of the day, if you pause and you look back over your pictures of the day, I’m like, oh my gosh, everybody’s tired. Everybody’s exhausted. And so the kids are probably saying things like, “You never snuggle me” or “You never spend time with me” or things like that, where you’re like, we just spent all day together.

But it does get in your head where you think, maybe we didn’t. And then you pull out your phone or your computer, and you look back, and you’re like, it was a really good day. All these smiles and bright faces. And yes, there are hard moments, but the overall picture was wonderful.

Being Able to Capture Moments

I’m feeling really grateful for the ease of being able to take pictures and have those memories and how beautiful that is. And Rachel does a really good job of saving those and creating them into reels and things that our kids can look back on and feel so much joy from. So anyway, she’s going to give me a tutorial one day on how to do that. We actually talked about that, like maybe we need to have a little retreat. We will get a hotel and I’m going to teach you how to preserve memories in a fun way.

I saw something somewhere that said when we grew up, we might have like 20 pictures from 1992. And now we have like 80 pictures from this morning. So we’re so lucky to have such like such a detailed view of their childhood. We are the keepers of that and keeping it organized and accessible.

Ashlee’s Favorite Summer Experiences

I was going to share briefly some of the things that I’ve loved about our summer so far. One of them is that we ended up on a great little trip down to my mom’s, which was phenomenal.

It was so good to see her. We picked blueberries at my cousin’s house on their farm. Then we went to another friend’s farm where they had lambs and we got to hold them. Then we got to watch a mother birth two twin lambs. And it was magic. And then the fireflies came up afterward. You can’t even make this stuff up. It was just so amazing. It was beautiful and peaceful out there on their farm. I don’t know if all that just inspired us, but on our way home, we picked up some baby chicks a couple of hours from our house.

My kids held our baby chicks all the way home. We have a friend who is willing to take them when we can no longer care for them, but they spark so much joy. Levi tends to be naked in our backyard because that’s his happy place. Nake Levi chasing the chicks, I didn’t even know how much I needed that in my life.

There’s also been lots of fun time in the pool and other things. But, I feel like those are just a couple of our highlights that just keep on giving and have slowed us down even too—especially the chicks—just slowed us down to just appreciate these moments.

Rachel’s Favorite Summer Experiences

We just got back from a trip to the beach in North Carolina. We were visiting John’s parents, who bought a beach house there about a year and a half ago. And this is our first time going out there, and it was so great.

I think my favorite memory from the trip is my son, Brecken. Throughout the trip, probably at least five times in the car, we would be leaving the beach and driving back to the house. And he would be like, “Mommy, why didn’t you choose to live here? Why did you choose to live in Nebraska?” And I’m like, “That’s a great question, buddy.” I could see his little wheels turning. Like, they have the ocean and they have a pool. And the only thing he said was, “But we do have a zoo splash pad.”

My girls do the same thing to us when we get back. We used to live in South Carolina. When we go visit, they’re like, what are we doing? You have to follow where you have to go sometimes.

How to Get Ready for Back to School

It has been a really good summer, but like it or not, school is coming back. I think for some moms, that is a huge relief. And for others, it’s a tinge of sadness because summer goes so fast. And it kind of depends sometimes on phases too, I think. It’s been a better summer with all of my kiddos. We’ve enjoyed that time altogether more.

Rachel’s Bedtime & Morning Routines

We make sure we get our kids to bed at a reasonable hour. And again, we know that that’s hard when the sun is up, but get those curtains closed and the routine going.

As far as morning—this is for different seasons of life. I was sleeping until my newborn woke up and probably until she was about one. But then you come back to life again a little bit. And at that point, I felt like I could set an alarm, and get up and get the day going. That helps tremendously just to come downstairs and do a few essentials before the kids come downstairs. For me, that’s unloading the dishwasher, putting things away, throwing in a load of laundry, filling water bottles, and making breakfast.

If all of those things are done before the kids come down, I’m not a stressed-out mom trying to do all of these things while also having a little bit of time with my kids before they leave.

Ashlee’s Bedtime & Morning Routines

I feel like I used to be a morning mom and then I dealt with a little bit of postpartum depression stuff. I had a lot of hard stuff with my dad this last year and I went to my primary care and got help, something to kind of just boost me through this time when I’m still very needed at home, but also kind of wanting to grieve.

I have to try to gauge what I am able to do in the morning. I have been trying to utilize that time to rest a little bit more, but I’m hoping to adjust back to this because I have had the best success with that as well, starting on my own terms. Because when Levi wakes up, he’s kind of grump at first. I don’t know if it’s low blood sugar, and if that’s what I wake up to, that is really hard. Then there’s two of us that are grumpy, and I’m not helping him work through his. I’m not able to stay calm.

Avoid Rushing

It helps to not rush too. If you don’t feel rushed with the kids, then they don’t go out the door rushed. I never feel great when I’m scrambling, and then my kids can sense that too. And so like, trying to avoid that rush means giving yourself enough time, whatever that is, to get up, even if it means waking your kids up when you’re like, oh, they’re still sleeping.

Pack Lunches the Night Before

One of our other favorite things is packing lunches the night before. If I’m trying to do lunches and feed them breakfast in the morning, I realize that I’m grumpy, and it’s too much. And your kids can even help the night before too. I’ve noticed since mine are a little older that they can tell me what they want in their lunch. They love that.

I do feel like halfway through the year, my kids forget that home lunch is actually an option because we lose our steam. The beginning of the year, we’re like super moms packing amazing, healthy lunches. Then by the end, they are like “Mom, I need more lunch money on my card.” And I’m like, “Ok, yeah, you do.” The winter blues set in and hot lunch it is.

Set Expectations for Activities

With back to school comes back to activities. Yes, there are summer camps, but the regular weekly activities begin again, typically. It’s important to have conversations with each of our kids about what is important to them, and what their goals are.

How many nights a week do they want to be busy? How many nights a week do we want them gone? How many nights a week do we want them home? And I think it’s important to preserve childhood as well, because if we have activities every single night, when do they get to play? When do they get to be a kid?

They’re sitting at desks most of the day at school, and they need that time. Also knowing that there are only so many parents to go around to do drop-offs and pickups. We don’t want to just become a taxi service. We want to be parents. I think having that open conversation with your kids and spouses is important. It takes a village to do it all and make sure it’s something that everybody can manage.

Find Time to Connect as a Family

Finding time to connect is going to be different than it is through the summer months. There might be a day when we have school, and then we have to rush to gymnastics or whatever the sporting event is. And your time with your kids is that car time. And you know that going into it. I get these 20 minutes and recognize that that’s the situation and being ready. This is my time. I cannot wait to connect with my kids on this car ride. I’m going to focus on this moment because that’s so important to find moments of connection throughout the day. When you don’t have a lot of time, you have to value what you have and make it impactful. Even if it’s a small amount of time, if it’s purposeful, it has the same effect. Our kids feel seen and loved. We need moments like that each day to fill us.

Ask Specific Questions

When we do pick up our kids from school and we ask them about their day, I feel like we can easily ask the generic question, “How was your day?” But then you’re kind of stuck. Try to find questions that kids can answer, because when you ask about a kid’s whole day, a lot of times the last thing they did is what’s on their mind. What happened in the morning is long gone.

If you ask specific questions like, “Who did you sit with at lunch today?” or “What’s something that your teacher said that made you laugh?” Specific questions that have an answer that isn’t just good, are very helpful in connecting and getting deeper. That’s another way to learn more about what’s going on in your kids’ lives because they’re gone for so long. We don’t always know what’s going on.

Make Nighttime Purposeful

At bedtime, try to make it purposeful and connect as much as possible. That’s the last thing they’re feeling before they go to bed and are ready to start the next day. I think creating that safe space in our home for them that if something’s happening at school, they feel like there’s a moment in the day to talk to us and that we want to hear. That’s invaluable to create that for them and ultimately what we want.

That time is usually when it’s quiet and calm. When there’s chaos in your home, it’s not going to be a time when they’re like, “Mom, I really need to tell you something.” But if they know that there’s going to be a moment where I’ll have Mom’s full attention for five minutes, whatever, then we can talk during that time.

Tips for Starting Kindergarten

If you have someone who’s starting kindergarten, please know that you’ll get through it. We’ve been there, and you feel all the feels. But you’ll get through it and it’s going to be great. It’s such a growing year, and that makes our mama hearts happy to know that they’re somewhere where they have great friends and great teachers. And I feel like LPS is a wonderful school district.

Thanks for tuning in. We appreciate you and hope that you found some valuable stuff from this, too. You don’t need to do motherhood alone. Come join our village. Exactly as you are.