Retirement. I never really thought too much about the word or the idea of retiring. I truly enjoyed and appreciated the work I was asked to perform at Bryan. It felt challenging, purposeful and fulfilling. I loved my co-workers and volunteers – they were like family to me.
Following My Heart
As my 40th anniversary at Bryan approached, it occurred to me that perhaps this was a good time to exit. This totally took me by surprise because I always thought I would know exactly when it was time to leave. I thought I would have a clear, precise timeline. But as the anniversary date grew closer, I knew I needed to listen to what my heart was telling me and just go. And that is exactly what I did. I discussed the idea with my husband, and although never really receiving his blessing (he was a bit in shock by this sudden decision, to say the least), I knew he would be by my side, supporting me all the way.
I Tried To Avoid Using The ‘R’ Word
As I was writing my resignation letter, I could not bring myself to use the word retire. As positive as I was about taking this step, I could not refer to it as retirement. For me, this had a negative connotation. As word spread that I was leaving, although intentions were well-meant, the words used to congratulate me on retirement made me cringe! Phrases like “yes, no more work”, “you can just close the door and walk away”, “finally, you can have fun”, “throw away that alarm clock, you’ll be sleeping in”, “just think, no meetings, no schedule”, and on and on!
It’s been three years, and I still don’t like that word! I decided it was time to come to terms with the ‘R’ word! I visited with friends about the word and the concept of retiring. As you might imagine, different strokes for different folks! Some people had been counting the days until retirement – some were even counting the years. Others were just unsure of what retirement would actually look like, wondering how they would fill their days. One of my friends suggested I read a bit about the Japanese culture and the concept of Ikigai. As I read, it became apparent to me that I didn’t have to dislike the word retire, I just needed to define it for my use. I accept and respect everyone’s views about this stage in life, but I needed to clarify my thoughts and expectations going forth.
Ikigai Summed It Up for Me
Ikigai is a Japanese concept meaning “reason for being”. When a person engages in activities that bring them joy, utilizes their strengths and helps contribute to society, they find a sense of purpose and fulfillment. It’s about living each day with intention. It’s one thing to read about this, but another to live it. Making time for activities I love, building relationships that support and inspire me and continuing to learn and grow in my areas of interest are a few of the many ways I have achieved Ikigai.
As you might guess, there are endless writings on not just Japanese theories for living, but other cultures as well. I found them all fascinating. Reading about the concepts and the practices left me with such a positive outlook.
Don’t Let A Word Or Others Define Who You Are
Looking back over the past three years, I realized I have been extremely happy. Even though I have always tried to live life to the fullest – being active, developing meaningful relationships, seeking opportunities to learn and grow and serving others, retirement has allowed me the freedom to explore and engage even more. It has made me more of a risk-taker. It’s changed my “I’ve never done that” thoughts to “I guess I could try”.
Lesson learned – instead of ignoring something that bothers you, meet it head on. Put some thought into it. Choose your own definition and direction, and let others do the same. I’m happy to be retired and grateful that I have had the opportunity to continue working on and building my Ikigai.
Ellen Beans
I’m originally from Arlington, NE. My husband, Pat, is from Cozad, NE. After spending the past 45 years in Lincoln, we are proud to call it our home.
I served as a Director at Bryan Health for 40 years. Pat served as the Chief Financial Officer for NRC Health for many years. He now serves as the Manager for Amandla, LLC.
We have two sons, Winston and Beau. Winston is married to Emily, and they have a daughter, Sophia, 5 years old. Beau is engaged to Kelcie, and we are anxiously awaiting a wedding date!
As the author of the Grandparent blog, I’ll be writing about the challenges and rewards of retirement. I’ll focus on the roles I have taken on in life … spouse, parent, In-law, grandparent, colleague and friend, and how they have changed over the years. This is the plan for the blog, but as we all know, plans can change!
