Recently, someone told me a story about a wedding that looked absolutely perfect on social media. The photos were stunning! Beautiful lighting, smiling bride, romantic ceremony and moments that looked like they belonged in a magazine. But behind the scenes, the reality was far from perfect. Throughout the reception, one thing after another went wrong. There were unexpected venue issues, technical problems and moments of complete chaos that guests would likely never forget.
And yet, when the photos were posted online, none of that existed anymore. What remained was the curated version of the day: the beautiful moments, the laughter, the carefully framed memories.
Comparing Our Behind-The-Scene Life To Someone Else’s Highlight Reel
That story really stayed with me because it feels a lot like social media and motherhood. We are constantly surrounded by polished snapshots of other people’s lives, while quietly living the messy, exhausting, imperfect parts of our own behind the scenes. And if I’m not careful, it can leave me feeling like everyone else is doing better or experiencing a version of motherhood that I somehow missed.
It is completely human to share moments of joy and memories we want to hold onto. The problem begins when we mistake someone’s curated moments for their full reality. Motherhood already leaves many of us feeling vulnerable and emotionally stretched, constantly wondering if we are doing enough or doing things “right.” Social media can quietly add fuel to that fire by making ordinary, everyday moments feel inadequate.
We end up comparing our behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel. We see moms online talking about screen-free homes, elaborate birthday parties, spotless kitchens, matching outfits and aesthetically packed lunches. Meanwhile, I recently dropped my daughter off at daycare without shoes.
And honestly? I think more of us are living in that reality than we realize.
Even In The Middle Of Chaos, Beautiful Moments Exist
In the wedding story my friend shared, even in the middle of the chaos, beautiful moments still existed. The photos weren’t fake, they were simply incomplete. Social media captures joy, love, connection, milestones and memories that help us stay connected with friends and family. What it often doesn’t capture is the full emotional landscape surrounding those moments. My biggest takeaway from all of this is that a beautiful photo does not equal a perfect life.
What I haven’t shared yet is that I’m a content creator myself. Photography is both part of my work and one of my favorite creative outlets. And my favorite subject to photograph is my family. I know how to curate a beautiful feed. Photos from our last family vacation look dreamy and picturesque, like we spent every moment peacefully enjoying the beach together. What those photos don’t show are the meltdowns, the overstimulation, the snacks spilled in the car, the exhaustion or the stress happening just outside the frame.
Joy And Chaos Can Exist At The Same Time
I think that’s why I feel like I can speak honestly to both sides of this conversation. Two things can be true at once: the joy of the moment and the chaos surrounding it. As a mom and content creator, I often feel the pressure to document everything and capture the “perfect” moment in the perfect lighting. But lately, I’ve been trying to put down my phone and camera a little more often and spend less time scrolling social media.
Because maybe the most meaningful moments in motherhood were never meant to be perfectly curated in the first place.
Cassidy Vineyard Pflanz
I’m originally from North Platte, NE, and Lincoln has been my home for more than a decade. My husband, Justin, and I have been married for almost ten years. We welcomed our first child, Maxwell, during the pandemic, and our youngest, Zoey, arrived in a much calmer chapter of history.
Justin and I are both small business owners—his in the motorsports industry, and mine as a personal trainer and social media manager. Our flexible schedules have allowed us to prioritize family life. When I have a spare moment, you can find me diving into photography, a good book, a favorite podcast, or the kitchen. Motherhood may not be as glamorous as social media makes it out to be—it’s demanding, exhausting, and often messy—but I can’t wait to share the beautifully messy journey with you!
