I’ve used lists my entire adult life. In college, at work and at home, I’ve always had a list of things to get done. As I check one thing off, I add another. Often, I rewrite the list just to make it seem new! The one thing about my list that has always held true – if I am leaving on a vacation, I seem to be more motivated to check things off before I leave. Something about wanting to come back with a fresh outlook and a clean slate!
It used to be once I was in the car or on the plane, I could forget about the list, telling myself there was nothing I could do about it until I got home. But now, with cell phones and laptops, that list can travel and I am reminded of tasks that someone has labeled urgent and needs to be addressed – even while lying on a beach!
“We Should Do That” and “We Should Invite Them Over” Lists
For the past few years, Pat and I have started two new lists. We avoid calling them lists. We call them our “We should do that” and “We Should Invite Them Over” notes. Every time we think of something we would like to do, I send a text to myself. Whenever something new comes up, I just add it to my text conversation. The same with inviting people over. When we run into people that we haven’t seen in a while, or meet someone new, one of us will say, “we should invite them over”. So, I start another text listing those names. These text messages are different than a “to do” list. There is no pressure to complete the tasks, and after a few months, I delete the text and start over. If there is a place or name left on the list, I may or may not carry it over. There are no rules!
This is similar to a bucket list, but the things we put on our text note are simple, close to home and don’t require a lot of planning or packing. Things like visiting the Aardvark Antique Mall in Lincoln that we drive by, commenting we need to go there, but never do. Or visiting the National Museum of Roller Skating because we’ve driven by it a million times, always comment that it is cool to have the museum in Lincoln, but have never toured it. Riding our bikes to Zesto for ice cream has been on our “We should do that” note, because we remember going to Zesto growing up but haven’t had their ice cream in a long time!
The “We should invite them over” notes are just as fun. Whether it be friends from the past, or new people we start a conversation with, they usually end up on in our note text. It can be friends from our hometown, college, business, church or neighborhood. Sometimes the conversations we start in restaurants, shops and sporting events can lead to a notation in our “We should invite them over” text. These gatherings are not complicated, we open our home, share some food and engage in conversation. It is quite refreshing and rewarding.
Keeping It Simple, With No Pressure Attached
There is no long-term planning, no mapping a route, no reservations, no packing. The beauty of our notes is in the simplicity. It’s taken us a while, but we’ve learned that taking an hour or two out of our day to explore a new place or enjoy the company of nice people is okay – it’s better than okay – it’s fun!
Why do we do this? Well, our text notes are not lists that drag us down and cause anxiety. If we check something off, great. If we don’t, it’s okay. If the text accidently gets deleted, that’s okay. And who knows, the idea may occur to us again. What’s really important is we are having fun venturing out of our comfort zone. We are discovering places and meeting people. There is no need to make a commitment to “do that again”. But quite often, especially in meeting new people, we expand our circle of friends. And for this we are grateful.
Instead Of Asking “Should We Do This?”, We Say “We Should Do This!”
Do I have still have lists, absolutely. Cleaning my closet and sorting pictures keep getting moved, month to month. Creating anxiety until completion. I need the balance of “To Do” with “We Should”!
Have a great month, everyone! Do something fun and fanciful!
Ellen Beans
I’m originally from Arlington, NE. My husband, Pat, is from Cozad, NE. After spending the past 45 years in Lincoln, we are proud to call it our home.
I served as a Director at Bryan Health for 40 years. Pat served as the Chief Financial Officer for NRC Health for many years. He now serves as the Manager for Amandla, LLC.
We have two sons, Winston and Beau. Winston is married to Emily, and they have a daughter, Sophia, 5 years old. Beau is engaged to Kelcie, and we are anxiously awaiting a wedding date!
As the author of the Grandparent blog, I’ll be writing about the challenges and rewards of retirement. I’ll focus on the roles I have taken on in life … spouse, parent, In-law, grandparent, colleague and friend, and how they have changed over the years. This is the plan for the blog, but as we all know, plans can change!
