My daughter was rolling around on the airport floor as we were heading home from a Christmas vacation. Fully sprawled out. Completely unbothered. And as I watched her, I had a very clear thought:
I never thought I’d let my child play on an airport floor.
Before kids, I absolutely would have passed silent judgment on the parent allowing this. Now? I was just grateful she was entertained long enough for me to drink my coffee in peace.
It’s easy to judge when you don’t have kids because it’s impossible to understand the chaos they bring, and how quickly your standards shift when survival (and caffeine) are on the line. Watching her roll around got me thinking about all the things I do now as a mom that I never thought I would do before kids.
Making Different Dinners
I never imagined I’d willingly make a different dinner for my kids than what my husband and I are eating. I pride myself on being a good cook. Who wouldn’t want to eat my delicious meal?
A 5-year-old and 3-year-old. That’s who.
Instead of salmon, they’d prefer a hot dog. Before kids, I envisioned adventurous eaters who happily enjoyed salmon, asparagus and couscous alongside me. Turns out, that vision didn’t account for strong opinions, sensitive palates or the fact that toddlers don’t care about omega-3s.
So yes, sometimes I make separate meals. And no, I no longer feel bad about it.
Perfectly Styled Kids (Every Day)
Once upon a time, I thought my kids would never leave the house with bed head. I imagined coordinated outfits, brushed hair and children who calmly got ready on schedule.
This was before I experienced the morning rush of getting everyone out the door and myself ready so we’re all on time.
Also important context: my daughter is a fireball in the morning. She has very strong opinions about what she wears at three years old. We regularly leave the house with her in a tutu, a swimsuit and boots. And honestly? If everyone is dressed and we made it out the door, I consider that a win.
Being That Mom on the Dance Floor
I never thought I’d be the mom on the dance floor the entire time, holding my son’s hand.
Max had his first school dance, and as my quieter, slow-to-warm kid, he was overwhelmed immediately. Kids running everywhere. Loud music. Glow-in-the-dark everything. He grabbed my hand and asked to leave more than once. Each time I said, “I love this song, we have to stay and dance to it.”
Eventually, he gave in and started having fun. While holding my hand the entire time. I was one of the only parents on the dance floor, and while I never envisioned that for myself, I’ll take it. I taught him a few dance moves. Like how to shrug his shoulders to the beat and how to step and tap. Classic moves that will never steer him wrong.
Letting Go of the Picture-Perfect Version
Thinking about all the things I never thought I’d do as a parent reminds me that motherhood is really about letting go of perfection, of expectations and of what we think things should look like.
It’s about releasing the fear of what others might think. Which, admittedly, is much easier to write from the comfort of my couch in sweatpants than it is to practice in real life.
Most of us have an idea of the mom we’ll be: put together, organized, always on top of it. But the real gift is learning to be present: to dance like no one’s watching – even when you’re at a school dance and you’re the only adult on the floor.
And honestly? I wouldn’t trade that version of motherhood for the polished one I once imagined.
Cassidy Vineyard Pflanz
I’m originally from North Platte, NE, and Lincoln has been my home for more than a decade. My husband, Justin, and I have been married for almost ten years. We welcomed our first child, Maxwell, during the pandemic, and our youngest, Zoey, arrived in a much calmer chapter of history.
Justin and I are both small business owners—his in the motorsports industry, and mine as a personal trainer and social media manager. Our flexible schedules have allowed us to prioritize family life. When I have a spare moment, you can find me diving into photography, a good book, a favorite podcast, or the kitchen. Motherhood may not be as glamorous as social media makes it out to be—it’s demanding, exhausting, and often messy—but I can’t wait to share the beautifully messy journey with you!
