Every home tells a story, and the meaning of “home” continues to evolve throughout our lives. As a child, home was my safe haven – a place where my parents provided support and security as I made friends, joined school and church activities, and planned my future after graduation.
Moving To College: My Sense Of Home Remained In Arlington
When I started college and moved into a dormitory, I took the opportunity to experiment with decorating my new space. I had such a good time arranging my room, picking out colors and adding personal touches to this very small space! Still, despite the fun I had making the dorm feel comfortable, it never truly felt like home to me. My real sense of home remained in Arlington. The anticipation of returning there during school breaks is something I will always remember. Packing up my things, driving down the familiar highway as the sun set and finally pulling into the driveway – seeing the porch light glowing and knowing my parents were there, watching and waiting eagerly at the window. Those moments defined what home meant to me.
My First Home After College
It wasn’t until I graduated and launched my career that I truly felt the urge to establish a place I could call my own. My first home was a modest apartment, and with a minimal budget, I set out to furnish and decorate it. The process of searching through used furniture stores and thrift shops for just the right pieces became an adventure in itself. Each item I found added character and comfort to my space, and once everything came together, I was filled with a genuine sense of accomplishment. I finally had a home where I could welcome family and friends, making it a space to share and enjoy together.
Getting Married: From An Apartment to Buying and Updating Homes
When Pat and I got married, we settled into a new apartment together. Each of us brought favorite pieces of furniture from our previous places, and initially, we each assumed our own selections would naturally fill the main spaces. This led to a bit of a challenge, as we worked to navigate the differences in our tastes and preferences. Through time and compromise, we began to blend our styles, carefully deciding which items would take center stage and which would find a place in less prominent corners. (At this point, I must be honest and admit I did take several of his treasures to the storage closet in the basement, hoping he wouldn’t remember he brought them!) This process allowed our apartment to gradually become a true reflection of both our personalities. Learning to merge our belongings was an important first step in building our home together, and it helped us create a space that felt welcoming and uniquely ours.
Throughout the course of our marriage, Pat and I have purchased three homes. Our first home was a lesson in learning – an older home that we labelled (as did our family and friends) our “never-ending project”. We learned to remove wall paper, paint, carpet and tile. We also learned we had limited “do it yourself” knowledge and experience, and it was better to hire professionals for some projects just to keep the peace in our marriage. Our second home was a lesson in landscaping – a big home set on a very large sloping wooded lot. What a great opportunity for our family to embrace the great outdoors. Mowing, hedging, trimming, mulching, hauling river rock and endless leaf clean-up did involve the entire family, but I’m not sure we heard cheerful whistling, rather tearful whining!
Our Final Home: A Lesson In Love
Our third home has been our lesson in love. Pat and I purchased a home on a lake. As you might imagine we had a lot to learn about lake living. Pat learned more than he ever thought he would about sea walls, docks, lifts and boats. I was assigned bug control and geese chasing and clean-up. After 14 years, I still think I drew the short end of the straw! Nevertheless, after a lot of budget discussions (or truth be told – arguments), we have navigated our way through a total house remodel, a new sea wall, dock, lift and boat. And we can’t forget the lake accessories – lily pad, water skis, wake boards, surf boards and tubes! Looking back from the time we purchased this home until now, we made a lot of decisions. We found that after 37 years of marriage we make a pretty good team. We love the home that we created and we love each other – still!
Our Ultimate Goal: A Home Full of Love, Warmth and Lasting Memories
Throughout our journey of creating and shaping our homes, Pat and I discovered that at the core, we shared the same values and hopes for what truly mattered in a home. Our mutual goal was always to foster an environment where our family could feel safe, joyful and cherished. We wanted every member of our family to experience a sense of belonging and comfort within these walls. Equally important to us was ensuring our friends felt instantly welcomed whenever they crossed our threshold. Our home has always been a place where memories are not only made but also treasured for years to come.
Just recently, I picked up Sophia after school, and when I asked what she wanted to do, she chose to come to our house. That simple request fills me with pride and joy. Out of all the places she could spend her afternoon, she wanted to be at Papa and Grandma’s house. This, for me, perfectly captures the spirit and heart of our home – a place where love, warmth, and lasting memories reside.
Ellen Beans
I served as a Director at Bryan Health for 40 years. Pat served as the Chief Financial Officer for NRC Health for many years. He now serves as the Manager for Amandla, LLC.
We have two sons, Winston and Beau. Winston is married to Emily, and they have a daughter, Sophia, 5 years old. Beau is self-employed and works diligently to assure the success of his company. He also carries the title of Best Uncle Ever!
As the author of the Grandparent blog, I’ll be writing about the challenges and rewards of retirement. I’ll focus on the roles I have taken on in life – spouse, parent, In-law, grandparent, colleague and friend, and how they have changed over the years. This is the plan for the blog, but as we all know, plans can change!
