Grandma’s Gifts

When my daughter was about three years old, she and my mother, Meme (her name for her grandma), were very close. Even though my mother lives in Arkansas, we spent quite a bit of time with her and my dad. Meme’s way of showing love has always been to give thoughtful gifts. It’s a precious quality that I’ve always admired. However, there came a Christmas that grandma’s gifts just got out of control.

My husband and I had to rent a U-Haul to get the Little Tikes kitchen set and all the other gifts back to Nebraska. Then I began to notice this little attitude my daughter displayed. Within time this “little” attitude came to full bloom the next time we saw my parents when Alexis said upon greeting them, “Hi Meme! What did you bring me!?” When my mother replied, “Nothing!” Alexis burst into tears and became angry. Not good.

It’s such an easy trap to get caught in. I understand it so much more now that I’m the grandma! I love buying gifts for my grandkids (where did I get that from, right?). I really do think of them on my trips and I love to bring back things that show them that I was thinking of them. I also like bringing them things that represent the place we were. And there’s honestly nothing wrong with that! But, as with everything else, there needs to be a balance. Finding that balance is tricky. I’m so easily knocked off balance, but I guess that’s the lesson of the story.

Here are a couple techniques that I use to balance on thee tricky gift-giving balance beam:

Ask myself: “Do they need its?”

The answer is almost always no, but occasionally it’s a yes! And I do love the times when it’s the latter. A yes might apply to buying a pair of jeans when they’ve outgrown theirs or when those cute boots are perfect for school. However, the stuffed seahorse with sparkles will only last about 10 minutes (if I’m lucky) before it’s tossed into the pile with the other stuffed animals. One of my children has actually banned any other family member from buying stuffed animals for their children. They simply don’t have enough room in the house to hold any more!

Avoid buying gifts altogether

Another thing I’m trying is to simply not buy anything on a trip at all. When I get home, I spend time with them and tell them fun memories about the trip or I tell them about what I saw. I know their parents appreciate not having to find a place for Grandma’s gift, and hopefully the kids enjoy just spending time with Grandma!

And that’s what it truly all comes down to — time! As they grow older, I can only hope they’ll know that Grandma wants to spend time with them more than she wants to spend money on them. Now that’s a legacy worth working toward!