Lessons from the Passenger’s Seat

I cannot relate to wanting to drive. I waited one week after my sixteenth birthday to get my license. My parents gave me a car for Christmas one year, and I was upset (no lie) that I didn’t drive the car for months. I lived two blocks from school and it was quicker to walk than to start up my car, so I walked every single day. Fast forward a handful of years, I purposely got lost one time traveling with my husband in hopes I would not have to drive again! (When my husband drives, I love my view from the passenger’s seat.) So, when it came to teaching my teen daughter how to drive, I was a nervous wreck and not ready for the challenge.

Teaching My Daughter to Drive

“Slow down.” Have any of you found yourself pressing an imaginary break?

“Speed up or we will not make it up the hill.”

“You need to quit driving on the white line,” I say while leaning toward the center of the vehicle, thinking my lean will somehow help get the van to the center of the road.

Our daughter recently got her school learner’s permit, and on these beautiful Nebraska days, she wants to learn to drive. I have spent three days in the passenger’s seat as she practices driving for one to two hours at a time.

I do not want to be in the passenger’s seat. A mom in the passenger’s seat who watches her daughter turn down the radio, who watches her daughter tuck her phone far away, who listens as her daughter reminds everyone to buckle up, and who watches her daughter focus on the road. This won’t be that bad, will it? Oh, the knots! Oh, the worry!

Teaching our daughter how to drive was not going to be my parenting duty. I told my husband that this is one task where he’s definitely a better fit. Our teenage daughter even requested that dad teach her how to drive.

Yet, here I am, a mom in the passenger’s seat who thought she was ready for her daughter’s newfound determination to gain more independence. I am not at all ready for this view. I ride along watching her as she practices: driving on highways, stopping at traffic lights, changing lanes, etc. This mom in the passenger’s seat just wants time to pause and not allow the driver to grow up.

Embracing the View from the Passenger’s Seat

Stopping her from growing up is not going to happen. I remind myself, embrace the view from the passenger’s seat. This view is teaching ME all about patience. This view is reminds me to be a constant encourager. This view reminds me we all make mistakes. This view is providing quality mother/daughter time.

The. View. Is. So. Worth. It.

I smile because she is a responsible driver. She even allows me to correct her driving. I smile because she is sharing her goals and aspirations. I smile because the view tells me we have raised a truly good person.

Just like the scenery changing around us, the view from the passenger’s seat is also changing. I cannot stop our daughter from growing up and becoming more independent. Sitting in the passenger’s seat will always produce worry knots in my stomach, but my seat will always be filled with love. I tell myself, “Enjoy the passenger’s seat and be thankful you still can provide a few more driving lessons along the way.”

On the Other End of the Age Spectrum

Do you know someone who could benefit from a refresher course in driving? Bryan Health has a class for that! The AARP Driver Safety class provides techniques for coping with changes in vision, hearing, and reaction time along with a review of the “rules of the road.” Learn more about our next class here!