Sharing Advice with My Softball-Loving Daughters

Sharing Advice with My Softball-Loving Daughters

by | Aug 28, 2023 | K-12

I wrote this four years ago and wanted to revisit it because my heart is overflowing with all of these lessons for my daughters as we are in the thick of the softball season.

From Players to Coaches

One of you is a senior who is wearing her softball jersey for the last high school season, and the other is coaching your first ever high school team. Someday you may be sharing these exact words.

I know you both love softball and you both have been playing since you were eight years old. I want you to know there is no doubt in my mind that someday you will miss this. You will miss playing in the dirt, smelling the grass and throwing a runner out trying to steal. You will miss your teammates and coaches. You will wish you could take one more swing of the bat or slide into home again, but for now, take a deep breath and soak up every minute you are blessed to play and coach the game you love.

I am not sure if you girls notice, but I get butterflies for both of you. I believe you two have what it takes to own the moment. I love watching you play and coach.

Lesson 1: Control Two Things

You can only control your attitude and effort. Play with heart, but try hard to not let your emotions get the best of you. Move onto the next play. Your attitude is a reflection of your heart. Also, you may not be the most talented on the field, but there is no excuse for someone working harder than you. Through your dedication and hours of practice, amazing things will happen—just keep working. Never let your work ethic be less than your best. Love the game.

Lesson 2: Learn From Wins & Losses

Both are going to happen, and both provide opportunities to grow not only as a player, but also as a team. Every team has a “this is the greatest moment,” just like every team and player faces adversity. Without those greatest moments and adversities there isn’t a meaningful story to tell.

Lesson 3: Don’t Hang Your Head After Mistakes

I know this is tough. Life is full of strikeouts and overthrows, but these give us opportunities to learn. Just like the wins and the losses, there is a great deal that can be learned through mistakes. Challenge yourself and your team to have a growth mindset by refocusing your mind to become 1% better everyday.

Lesson 4: Trust Your Coaches

Know your coaches want you and your entire team to reach the fullest potential. We have to make a decision to set the team up for success. Those decisions can lead to successes and failures. However, you have to know your coaches care about you. Your coaches put the hours into learning the game, just like you, and they are passionate about the game just like you. Believe in them, trust them, respect them and thank them. They love the game just like you.

Shelly Mowinkel

Shelly Mowinkel

K-12 & Teens

My husband and I have three kids. Our oldest is a freshman in high school, and our youngest is in second grade. Most days, I feel like we are a “tag-team chauffeuring” service, yet I wouldn’t have our life any other way. Not only I am a business/technology teacher at Milford, I am also the district technology integration specialist. I love teaching because I get the opportunity to make those around me better. My hope is that, through my blogging, I am able to inspire, encourage, and share with you my adventures of being a wife, mother, and professional.

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Embracing My Story: The Transformative Power of Vulnerability

Embracing My Story: The Transformative Power of Vulnerability

by | Jul 31, 2023 | K-12

“What is your story?” My body filled with anxiety. My skin crawled. I picked at my nails. This was the third time this summer I was asked about my story. But I build walls and keep people out. I only let a small group of people know my story. However, I know that to start building a connection, I need to be vulnerable and share my story.

Finding Joy After Heartache

My narrative came to a halt during my mother’s battle with cancer. In the middle of being a wife and a mother to three young children, I was processing how to live life without my mom and leaning on my faith, knowing this was my mom’s path all along. Her life story was planned long before she was ever conceived.

In our final conversations, my mom said, “Shelly, your gift is joy.” I quietly sat there, tears streaming down my face, feeling everything but joy in that moment. My mom continued, “Shelly, you must share the joy in your heart with your students and my grandkids. As I lay here, all I see is your joy.”

The Gateway to Authentic Connections

“Staying vulnerable is a risk we have to take if we want to experience connection.” — Brené Brown

Vulnerability. I hate this word. Am I the only one who feels this way? Vulnerability unlocks our authentic selves for others to see our flaws and fears. But I know a shared vulnerability builds bridges between people and fosters empathy and compassion—the cornerstones of genuine connections.

Experiencing a connection with others is a fundamental human need. It brings a sense of belonging and validation, reminding us that we are not alone on our journey through life. When we connect with others on a deep level, we gain support, encouragement and new perspectives that enrich our lives. These connections can lead to profound personal growth and a more vital self-awareness as we learn from other’s experiences and offer our insights in return.

My Journey Towards Vulnerability

Vulnerability and connection go hand in hand. We open space for communication, emotional intimacy and the freedom to be authentic without fear of judgment. These connections nourish us and have the power to withstand the tests of time, becoming a source of comfort and strength in our lives.

I am beginning to realize vulnerability is not a sign of weakness but a powerful tool for forging connections with others. By sharing our stories, fears and joys, we begin to build lasting relationships with people who make our lives better. Next time you are asked to share your story, take the time, and you may find a sense of belonging and a deeper appreciation of the human experience.

Shelly Mowinkel

Shelly Mowinkel

K-12 & Teens

My husband and I have three kids. Our oldest is a freshman in high school, and our youngest is in second grade. Most days, I feel like we are a “tag-team chauffeuring” service, yet I wouldn’t have our life any other way. Not only I am a business/technology teacher at Milford, I am also the district technology integration specialist. I love teaching because I get the opportunity to make those around me better. My hope is that, through my blogging, I am able to inspire, encourage, and share with you my adventures of being a wife, mother, and professional.

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Ready or Knot: Becoming the Mother of the Bride

Ready or Knot: Becoming the Mother of the Bride

by | Jun 26, 2023 | K-12

When I started blogging for CapitalMOM in 2017, our oldest was a freshman in high school. She was just starting to grow into the young woman that we all prayed she would be one day. Now, six and half years later, she video called us to show off her engagement ring.

From Baby to Bride

Right before my eyes our little baby with rolls who hated to sleep in her crib grew into a determined, outgoing and beautiful young lady. I could swear it was her four-year-old voice that said, “we are getting married!”

Love, Laughter and Panic Attacks

I tried to keep back my tears. I locked this moment with all its joy, excitement and happiness into my heart. But suddenly I realized, “I’m the mother of the bride.” Cue the elevated heart rate and panic. “Mother of the bride?” I thought, “I’m not ready for our oldest to get married.”

My Wedding Planning Commitments

For the next 30 minutes, thoughts hammered around in my brain as I sat in complete silence. I mentally made a list of everything I wanted to honor during this wedding planning process:

  1. This event will not overshadow our middle daughter’s senior year or her graduation. She deserves a present family as she approaches all of her lasts of high school.
  2. Keep the planning process moving forward without being pushy.
  3. Listen and offer guidance, but know that all decisions and the day ultimately belong to our daughter and her fiancé.
  4. Be supportive and a beacon of encouragement.
  5. Create a spreadsheet with the budget, email confirmations, deposits and guest list.
  6. Love her through the smiles, the tears, the joy and the stress.

Welcoming Her New Chapter in Life

I know we have raised our daughter to be the best possible version of herself. I know she has found the young man she wants to grow old with, so I must be willing to let go and let her start her life with her husband. Our relationship will change. She won’t need me the same way as she has in the past. Even though I’ll be consumed by a variety of emotions on her wedding day, this mother of the bride is going to enjoy it all.

Shelly Mowinkel

Shelly Mowinkel

K-12 & Teens

My husband and I have three kids. Our oldest is a freshman in high school, and our youngest is in second grade. Most days, I feel like we are a “tag-team chauffeuring” service, yet I wouldn’t have our life any other way. Not only I am a business/technology teacher at Milford, I am also the district technology integration specialist. I love teaching because I get the opportunity to make those around me better. My hope is that, through my blogging, I am able to inspire, encourage, and share with you my adventures of being a wife, mother, and professional.

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The Summer of Yes: Prioritizing Family Over Work

The Summer of Yes: Prioritizing Family Over Work

by | May 22, 2023 | K-12

It happens every single school year: the last day. Our children are anticipating summer more than ever, but I just want to put off summer for a few more days. Just a few more days to hear the chattiness of the juniors outside my door. Just a few more days to prolong our youngest from officially being in high school. Just a few more days before we officially have a senior in our home again.

Embracing “This Moment”

Then I am reminded of my favorite verse from Esther 4:14, “Perhaps you were created for such a moment as this.”

This moment. A moment where an entire wave of emotions engulf me. With a deep breath to prevent tears from filling in my eyes, I smile. I know our kids are ready for their next chapter. And at this moment, I decide this summer is the summer of “yes.”

Breaking Free From Work

Why yes? I am a self-proclaimed workaholic. I got it from my dad. My career is my comfort zone. I will probably be planning for my classes in the Fall of 2023 the Monday following our last day of school. It’s what I know. It’s what I excel at. It’s my purpose. It’s my why.

But this summer, I want to put myself and family first. This summer is a change agent to focus on the moment. A summer to just be.

My Strategies to Live More in the Present

But how am I going to make myself play rather than work? I have a few things to focus on more in the moment:

  1. Appreciate the sunrise and sunset
  2. Walk
  3. Sing made up songs
  4. Read
  5. Cook
  6. Smile
  7. Let go of the “to do’s”
  8. Take the scenic route

July will come. August will be here and the start of a new school year will begin in moments. I know I will undoubtedly be overcome with emotions. Those juniors outside my classroom door will be seniors. However, my hope is that I will be prepared for that moment, because I decided to say “yes” rather than work this summer.

Shelly Mowinkel

Shelly Mowinkel

K-12 & Teens

My husband and I have three kids. Our oldest is a freshman in high school, and our youngest is in second grade. Most days, I feel like we are a “tag-team chauffeuring” service, yet I wouldn’t have our life any other way. Not only I am a business/technology teacher at Milford, I am also the district technology integration specialist. I love teaching because I get the opportunity to make those around me better. My hope is that, through my blogging, I am able to inspire, encourage, and share with you my adventures of being a wife, mother, and professional.

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How Our Family Makes Time For Each Other

How Our Family Makes Time For Each Other

by | Apr 24, 2023 | K-12

It looked like a family reunion, but it was a funeral visitation. I arrived ready to share my condolences with my cousin, expecting an evening of somberness and shared stories. However, my expectations quickly changed. As I wrapped my widowed cousin in a hug, she quietly reminded me, “Tonight is a gathering of love, family and celebration.”

The Healing Power of Family

For the next hour, I shared hugs and visited with my aunts, uncles and cousins—some I have not seen in over five years. The catching up and many stories were a constant reminder of how much love was in that one room amongst my dad’s family. Yet my eyes and heart kept wandering over to my cousin. She was eloquently sharing words of joy, healing and love to all who came to give her condolences. I stood there in awe while soaking up the family conversations.

Strategies for Protecting Family Time

As our conversations winded down and we all went our separate ways, I spent my drive home thinking about the main theme of conversations: creating family and extended family memories.

How often do we truly look for those unscripted moments of sheer joy with our families? How do we go about looking for these moments when life seems to be all about appointments, meetings, sports/activities schedules and our careers?

Below are four simple yet broad strategies for choosing how our family protects our time:

  1. We understand the limitations of our children. Both our junior high son and high school daughter become quite overwhelmed when there are too many “to dos” or practices on their schedules. They both find solace in being at home. Saying “No” and staying home is the ultimate self-care for them.
  2. We set aside one entire week of the summer where we commit to nothing. It’s called our “No Commitment Week, Just Family.”
  3. We teach/encourage our kids not to feel guilty about protecting their mental, physical and emotional health. This is hard as our kids are people pleasers and do not like to disappoint others.
  4. We keep an open mind about “dropping all commitments” and just “going.”

Protecting our family boundaries is not always easy and communicating these boundaries with coaches is not always positive. But with the limited amount of time we have with our kids in our home, these boundaries are becoming more and more important and needed.

Shelly Mowinkel

Shelly Mowinkel

K-12 & Teens

My husband and I have three kids. Our oldest is a freshman in high school, and our youngest is in second grade. Most days, I feel like we are a “tag-team chauffeuring” service, yet I wouldn’t have our life any other way. Not only I am a business/technology teacher at Milford, I am also the district technology integration specialist. I love teaching because I get the opportunity to make those around me better. My hope is that, through my blogging, I am able to inspire, encourage, and share with you my adventures of being a wife, mother, and professional.

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Embracing Change: A Springtime Transformation for the Mind

Embracing Change: A Springtime Transformation for the Mind

by | Mar 27, 2023 | K-12

Spring is finally here. Don’t get me wrong, I love the wonders that fluffy snowflakes bring, but warmer weather is on the way and that means freshening up!

A Time for Transformations

Spring is about change. For me, it means moving past the cups of coffee warming my hands, binge-watching winter movies, and comfy fleece sweatpants.

While we declutter and paint inside, the outside world changes, too. The grass in our yard grows greener, my flowers blossom, the sun shines a little longer and our deck becomes an outdoor living space once again.

Overcoming Anxiety & Practicing Self-Compassion

As I begin noticing the seasonal change, my mind starts to look for ways I can change my inner self. I typically don’t like change. I often divert conversations about change.

But I was recently challenged to complete a task that instantly caused anxiety. I could feel the hives taking over my skin. I was vulnerable about this challenge, sharing my fear with my support system. Most importantly, I was patient with myself and kind to myself about this obstacle.

Teaching Kids About Change

I also think of how to teach my children the importance of being flexible to something new. Instead of fearing the unknown and resisting change, I want my kids to understand that change is good. Change can refresh our attitude. Change allows us to break away from monotonous daily routines. Internal change can drive us to be better people or pursue new adventures and goals. Accepting change makes us even more emotionally powerful.

How to Embrace Change Year-Round

Here are a few ways we can encourage and welcome change:

  1. Identify our fears.
  2. Acknowledge change.
  3. Laugh often.
  4. Focus on all the possibilities change can bring.
  5. Seek support.
  6. Be kind and patient with yourself.

Change is hard but inevitable. I am hopeful my internal changes will shape me into a more confident person that lasts longer than spring.

Shelly Mowinkel

Shelly Mowinkel

K-12 & Teens

My husband and I have three kids. Our oldest is a freshman in high school, and our youngest is in second grade. Most days, I feel like we are a “tag-team chauffeuring” service, yet I wouldn’t have our life any other way. Not only I am a business/technology teacher at Milford, I am also the district technology integration specialist. I love teaching because I get the opportunity to make those around me better. My hope is that, through my blogging, I am able to inspire, encourage, and share with you my adventures of being a wife, mother, and professional.

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Finding a Career Path & Writing Your Life’s Story

Finding a Career Path & Writing Your Life’s Story

by | Feb 28, 2023 | K-12

As I sit here and write this blog, I find myself just staring at my desk. I look at the notes taped to my computer screen, the pile of speaker notes and dates, the reminder to order a basketball team picture, a filled-in calendar with crossed-out days and a framed photo of the senior softball players. The first initial thought is, “I need to clean my desk off”. However, after I continued gazing at my desk, I wrapped my mind around this thought, “This is my story”.

My husband who is well-versed in storytelling, shares three notable points:

“Stories give meaning to the past, context to the present and a vision for the future.”

Sharing Career Path Stories

And as I look at my desk, I see all of those notable points about stories jumping out, yet one very specific pile carries a majority of shared stories…my career speaker notes.

I have had the privilege of creating a new class for eighth graders to give them insight to the six Nebraska Career Fields. I have had nearly 20 different speakers share their career path journeys with my students. The stories shared have given all of my students a glimpse into each of their futures.

While each speaker shared their lived story, all stories had two unknown themes intertwined. The first theme was encouraging students to follow a passion. The second theme was hard work. And while this passion can be photo shooting, cooking, helping others, playing sports, rebuilding computers or even reading, the speakers encouraged the students to follow what makes them happy. The speakers shared that they did not find happiness in the salary, it was through finding a career that ignited their passion.

Yet following these career paths took resilience. It was hard. One speaker shared her five different jobs that spanned four different states to finally find a career she loves. A career where there is no “have to do this”. A career where her company encourages giving back to the community. This is resilience.

One speaker shared how scared he was to tell his parents he did not want to go to college. He had multiple opportunities throughout high school to craft his passion. He was ready to start his own business. He had to develop a plan. A plan that consisted of having three different jobs at one point helped him establish his business and pay bills. This is persevering.

Another speaker shared her love of learning and created a path to earning her Doctorate in Education. She transitioned from the education world to president of a communications company; however, she is still well-engrossed in her passion for teaching and learning. This took grit.

Finding a Path That’s Right for You

Through the many narratives, the students were able to give context to what they currently know and envision themselves pursuing that in the future. If this new class was not offered, I know I would not have reached out to the speakers. I would not have heard their stories. I would have not witnessed their passions, I would have not understood their path of resilience.

My students would not have learned about so many different career experiences. However, now they have a unique context to their current learning and a small vision for what they want to do (or not do) during high school.

For once, I am thankful for a pile of notes on a messy desk.

Shelly Mowinkel

Shelly Mowinkel

K-12 & Teens

My husband and I have three kids. Our oldest is a freshman in high school, and our youngest is in second grade. Most days, I feel like we are a “tag-team chauffeuring” service, yet I wouldn’t have our life any other way. Not only I am a business/technology teacher at Milford, I am also the district technology integration specialist. I love teaching because I get the opportunity to make those around me better. My hope is that, through my blogging, I am able to inspire, encourage, and share with you my adventures of being a wife, mother, and professional.

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Dress for Interview Success

Dress for Interview Success

by | Jan 30, 2023 | K-12

There are moms who love prom dress shopping and there are moms who love wedding dress shopping. Then there’s me. I love to take my daughters shopping for interview clothing. Now, I haven’t had the opportunity to go wedding dress shopping yet, but I sure do hope it goes better than prom dress shopping.

Anyway, here I am, shopping for interview outfits for my oldest daughter only a week after I took my younger daughter. I am giddy! And my girls can tell. Both remarked, “Mom, you really do like this!”

My husband and I pride ourselves on making sure our children are properly dressed and prepared for any interview, whether in person or online. Our girls are at different ages—one is preparing for her first leadership interview in high school, and the other preparing for her first professional interview. The girls don’t have the same training or leadership backgrounds, but both will benefit from a solid interview foundation.

Best Ways to Prepare for an Interview

We shared the following tips with our daughter preparing for interview this week:

  • Know your interviewer’s dress code. Both of our girls were in professional interviews, so they purchased a well-fitting black pantsuit with a white blouse. They accessorized their suits with just a bit of color to enhance the suit, not overwhelm.
  • Practice your handshake. Make sure it’s not too firm or too loose and definitely make sure your hands are dry of sweat.
  • Research the organization. Skim through their website, social media accounts and definitely know the mission of the company.
  • Practice answering questions in front of a mirror.
  • Arrive at least 15 minutes early to the interview, and be polite to every person you interact with.
  • Take notes during the interview. Use active listening skills. Pause before you answer questions to collect your thoughts. Ask your own questions.
  • Be gracious and appreciative. Thank the interviewers for spending their time with you. Follow up with a thank you letter.
  • After the interview, reflect.

Our middle daughter’s interview was for a school leadership organization. I am thankful she gets this opportunity because it’s a safe environment to receive critical feedback, reflect, and hone her resume, cover letter, and interview skills. And in typical teenage daughter fashion, when I asked about her interview, she responded, “Fine, mom, but I’ll be better prepared for next time.” And for me, that response is worth all my time and effort.

Shelly Mowinkel

Shelly Mowinkel

K-12 & Teens

My husband and I have three kids. Our oldest is a freshman in high school, and our youngest is in second grade. Most days, I feel like we are a “tag-team chauffeuring” service, yet I wouldn’t have our life any other way. Not only I am a business/technology teacher at Milford, I am also the district technology integration specialist. I love teaching because I get the opportunity to make those around me better. My hope is that, through my blogging, I am able to inspire, encourage, and share with you my adventures of being a wife, mother, and professional.

You may also like

One Way to Stick to Your New Year’s Resolution

One Way to Stick to Your New Year’s Resolution

by | Jan 2, 2023 | K-12

The start of a new year—an opportunity to start fresh, set goals and resolutions, and on and on and on. Somewhere, someone has already given up on their resolutions just reading this never-ending laundry list. Here are my recommendations for creating a New Year’s resolution that will actually stick.

Making Resolutions in the New Year

I usually find something to define my year—a word, a song verse or even a vision board. But this time, as I try to type out my intentions for 2023, the delete key on my keyboard is getting plenty of use. I’ll write a line, press the delete key, type another word, and hit delete again and again.

I keep thinking this is the year of better health in all dimensions—physically, mentally, emotionally, socially and spiritually. I want to be better at listening, taking in less caffeine, consistently journaling, meal prepping more often, and spreading more kindness, joy, and grace. I just want to be better in every aspect.

Do Your Goals Need to Be SMART?

The teacher in me shouts, “Goals need to be SMART: specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and timebound,” and “Just be better” is certainly not specific or easily measurable.

But being better is relevant and attainable. As we raise our children, being better is definitely relevant. Not being better than someone else, but making ourselves better. We can all aspire to “just be better”.

How to “Just Be Better” in 2023

But how am I going to be better this year? I’m going to create micro goals around my health and use the three-layer goal-setting method instead of the SMART system. Here’s what that looks like for me:

  • For the first 10 days of January, I’ll get better in two areas (maybe journaling and meal prepping).
  • On days 11-20, I’ll add another area (like taking in less caffeine) and be better in a total of three areas.
  • In the last 11 days of January, I’ll add another, more challenging area (like extending more grace) for a total of four areas.

These micro goals will lay a foundation in my first month and make achieving a vague goal—like better health—more likely. Plus, these layers will allow me to focus when it’s incredibly easy to get off track in the snowy winter months. No excuses, just plenty of sticky notes to remind me to be a better person than yesterday.

So, if you’re like me and not sure how to set goals this year, just choose to be better.

Shelly Mowinkel

Shelly Mowinkel

K-12 & Teens

My husband and I have three kids. Our oldest is a freshman in high school, and our youngest is in second grade. Most days, I feel like we are a “tag-team chauffeuring” service, yet I wouldn’t have our life any other way. Not only I am a business/technology teacher at Milford, I am also the district technology integration specialist. I love teaching because I get the opportunity to make those around me better. My hope is that, through my blogging, I am able to inspire, encourage, and share with you my adventures of being a wife, mother, and professional.

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Past & Presents: A Holiday Gift to Remember

Past & Presents: A Holiday Gift to Remember

by | Dec 5, 2022 | K-12

Nearly five years later, I can still vividly see my mom at her quilting machine. Perfectly piecing together different colors of fabric and swiftly moving them through the sewing machine. I can remember seeing my aunts’ watery eyes glisten when they opened a quilt handcrafted by mom. I think of a wintry weekend when I asked mom to sew 11 different quilts to give away, and without hesitation, we were piecing and quilting away.

A Mother’s Love Language

Yet, when I think about mom’s quilts, I think of her precious time. Mom had an impeccable eye for detail, and each quilt had its own story. That’s why she poured so many hours into her craft. I think about all the conversations that were had and prayers that were said while she quilted away.

I always thought my mom’s love language was gifting. However, I now realize her true languages were quality time and acts of service. These two languages just happened to be given away in the form of quilts.

Remembering Gammy

One day, in a long overdue conversation with my middle daughter, Addi, I sensed sadness and heartache. She was missing her Gammy.

As we remembered mom, quilts naturally took center stage. I was going through a “mind catalog” of the innumerable quilts mom carefully crafted. Addi mentioned her favorite Gammy quilt was the one with the Minky material. I reminisced about the baby doll quilts mom would make when our daughters were little. I also thought of our wedding quilt, the one stored away for no hands to touch.

One Gift Greater Than Quilts

Then, my mind turned to my mom’s mother, her sisters, her best friend, my mother-in-law, her quilting circle, and anyone who spent even an hour creating with her. As the tears rolled down my cheeks, this moment wasn’t just about mom. It was about sharing this heartfelt conversation and uninterrupted time with Addi.

This Christmas season, just like many others, all I want is a quilt from my mother. While I’ll never receive a quilt made from my mom’s hands again, this conversation with Addi showed me the true gift from mom’s quilts is the time we give away to spend with the ones we love.

Shelly Mowinkel

Shelly Mowinkel

K-12 & Teens

My husband and I have three kids. Our oldest is a freshman in high school, and our youngest is in second grade. Most days, I feel like we are a “tag-team chauffeuring” service, yet I wouldn’t have our life any other way. Not only I am a business/technology teacher at Milford, I am also the district technology integration specialist. I love teaching because I get the opportunity to make those around me better. My hope is that, through my blogging, I am able to inspire, encourage, and share with you my adventures of being a wife, mother, and professional.

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Beyond the Softball Diamond: Life’s Best Pep Talks

Beyond the Softball Diamond: Life’s Best Pep Talks

by | Nov 7, 2022 | K-12

Most of you know I am a high school softball coach. I also get the privilege of coaching my daughter, our starting shortstop. There are many opportunities for me to not only teach skills and techniques about the sport but also about life beyond the softball diamond. I decided to share snippets from my pep talks. Even though these are examples for softball, I believe these pep talks can be applied to all areas of life.

Even the Coach Needs Pep Talks

As I prepared for each practice or game talk, I always whispered these two statements to myself:

  • “Lead with joy, and you can’t go wrong.”
  • “You picked twelve outsiders nobody would’ve chosen, and you changed the world. Well, the moral of the story is everybody’s got a purpose.” —Casting Crowns

Quit Looking for Easy

Challenge yourself each and every practice. Get better. This is not a “have to be here” sport—this is a “get to be here” sport. It’s a privilege to play for your high school. It’s a privilege to play the sport you love. Don’t look for easy. I cannot remember anyone ever telling me that they were glad it was an easy road. Get after it. Get better.

Preparation Is Key

Knowing your roles are important. Every role is important every single day—even throughout practice. Being a great practice partner is a role for everyone. Your partner benefits from being challenged. You benefit from being challenged. You should never walk away at the end of practice and think “I had a perfect practice.” Challenge yourself, challenge your partner. Preparation is key to building glowing confidence.

Be Humble & Patient

Keep moving forward, and know that all this hard work you’re putting in will produce results. We just don’t know when we’ll enjoy the results. We need to work hard and never settle. Be patient as we focus on the micro goals. Also, remember there is noise all around us about rankings, records, etc. How are you going to respond to the noise? Be humble when teachers, parents and families congratulate you on a great game, but never settle. We are going to keep moving forward. Focus on what’s important: preparing for the next game.

You Can Only Control Two Things

Your effort and your attitude. Both of these show what is in your heart. Play for a purpose greater than you—maybe it’s the person to the left of you on the field or the person to your right. Just know you do not play this game to advance yourself personally. You play it because you love it. I challenge you to play for someone else.

Know Where You Are

Your head needs to be where your feet are. You can’t be thinking about the next out, the last pitch or the error you made in the second inning. You must be present. The key is to be here and now for every moment. You must take care of business and not take anyone for granted. Be here every pitch. Be in the box every at-bat. Be in the moment every time you run on and off the field. Be here when people are talking to you. Trust yourself and this will all turn out okay.

Work Through Negative Thoughts

We all have bad innings, bad at-bats and bad games. But how do you respond? Do you let negative thoughts fester? Do you put those inopportune plays on repeat in your mind? I need each of you to respond with positive thoughts. Figure out how to think those positive thoughts. For me, I talk to my mom in heaven. It just takes one swing, one diving catch, one tag on a runner stealing a base to change the momentum of your game. We need to wire our brains to listen to positive thoughts. Challenge yourself to let go of negative thoughts, and focus on what will go well.

When you need a little motivation or a little encouragement, my hope is you can take one of these snippets and find inspiration.

Shelly Mowinkel

Shelly Mowinkel

K-12 & Teens

My husband and I have three kids. Our oldest is a freshman in high school, and our youngest is in second grade. Most days, I feel like we are a “tag-team chauffeuring” service, yet I wouldn’t have our life any other way. Not only I am a business/technology teacher at Milford, I am also the district technology integration specialist. I love teaching because I get the opportunity to make those around me better. My hope is that, through my blogging, I am able to inspire, encourage, and share with you my adventures of being a wife, mother, and professional.

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Avoiding the Comparison Trap

Avoiding the Comparison Trap

by | Oct 17, 2022 | K-12

As I was scrolling through social media today, I stopped on one post and thought to myself, “I sure wish I had it all put together, like she has.” Her make-up is perfect. Look at her perfectly sculpted abs. Her outfit is impeccable. Her home looks immaculate and the yard is perfectly manicured.

Thanks to social media today, it is very easy to fall into the comparison trap in every aspect of our lives. What I can tell you, when we fall into the comparison trap and believe we do not measure up, it leads to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem. Seriously, my friends, this is what brings us down rather than uplifting each one of us. The tendency is to keep comparing and truly losing site of what is purposeful, important and meaningful.

Four simple steps to prevent us from falling into the comparison trap:

Invest In Yourself

This doesn’t necessarily mean spending money, but it does mean spending time on YOU. Find something to personally grow in and go out and experience life. This can be as simple as sitting on the deck and reading a book. It can be as grandiose as illustrating a children’s book. It can be anything in between, however, the most important part of this is spending the time on YOU.

Allow Yourself to be Real

I have a playlist called “Do Not Listen to at School”. I wear leggings. I do not wash dishes every single day. I want a tattoo. Being your authentic self is much easier said than done, especially when in most instances you are seen only as your professional self. Practice mindfulness, know your values, face your fears, and by all means, it is okay to share your emotions. Allowing yourself to be real and authentic is challenging because it means slowing down, it means you may have to be selfish, and it means rewiring your brain to not always play it safe.

Surround Yourself with Authentic People

Proximity is powerful. That being said, you are a product of the five people you spend a majority of your time with. Outside of your family look at your inner circle of friends. Do they allow you to be authentic? Are they authentic around you? It does go both ways. Think about it, the quality of life is a reflection of your peer group. Find a group that makes you laugh, shares your values, inspires you to be a better person, but ultimately loves you for your true authentic self.

Make Kindness Purposeful In Your Life

Be intentional. In a world where kindness seems to be lacking, actions and words matter. The key is being intentional, about being kind and authentic (that word, it pops up again) about kindness. Purposeful kindness opens the door for others. If purposeful kindness is inspiring others through handwritten notes, go do it! If purposeful kindness for you is hugs, go do it!

The comparison trap is easy to fall into, however, if we practice the above suggestions we will live a more purposeful life. Yet most importantly we will model to our children how important it is to be our authentic selves.

Shelly Mowinkel

Shelly Mowinkel

K-12 & Teens

My husband and I have three kids. Our oldest is a freshman in high school, and our youngest is in second grade. Most days, I feel like we are a “tag-team chauffeuring” service, yet I wouldn’t have our life any other way. Not only I am a business/technology teacher at Milford, I am also the district technology integration specialist. I love teaching because I get the opportunity to make those around me better. My hope is that, through my blogging, I am able to inspire, encourage, and share with you my adventures of being a wife, mother, and professional.

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