Growing up everyone always asked you, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” My answer: I wanted to be a mom. Sure, I went to college, graduated and got a full-time job, but I knew I was put on this earth to become a mom.
My husband and I got married right out of college, and we knew we didn’t want to wait long before trying to conceive. We got married in June and were pregnant by August.
After having my first child, the next question became, “Well, how many kids do you want to have?” Again, that question was easy. We both knew we wanted two children. Nothing more, nothing less.
When I found out I was pregnant with my second, in the back of my mind, I knew this would be my last pregnancy. But I don’t think I came to that realization until she was about to turn 3, and my husband said “Can you believe we’re done with babies?” My head and my heart weren’t quite on the same page yet.
When Will I Know I’m Ready to Stop Having Kids?
My head told me we were done having children emotionally, physically and financially. I was ready to have my body back. Both my children were sleeping through the night by themselves in their own rooms. I could finally get sleep. It was nice to tag-team our children. My husband and I can manage them without feeling ganged up on. And, financially, it was the right thing. We were at a place where we were comfortable and able to have fun with the kids without breaking the bank.
Going from one child to two children was a lot easier than I expected. But I hear going from two to three children is a big transition.
It’s not that this decision has been easy. I still cry giving away my last baby’s clothing when she outgrows it, and every leap she makes into toddlerhood and away from babyhood is like a dagger in my heart. But I know the difference between the grief I feel as my last baby gets older and the longing for a new one.
I look at our family now, and I’m content. I feel like our family is a perfect unit. When we go on outings, I feel like we have just the right amount of humor and noise. I feel like I have the space to give each of my children individual attention while also getting that “big family vibe”. We fit perfectly in a booth at a restaurant, and we don’t need to buy a minivan (though it’s tempting so my kids aren’t in arm’s reach of each other).
What Are My Options for Not Having More Kids?
So now that my head and heart are at least on the same page—maybe not the same paragraph—we had to figure out our options to make sure we weren’t blessed with another baby.
My doctor was open and honest with me about the different contraceptives that were available. Medicine has come a long way, and there are a lot of noninvasive procedures available.
- Do I go on birth control until menopause? If so, which one?
- Do I get my tubes tired or some variation of that procedure?
- Does my husband get a vasectomy?
- Do we continue using condoms?
All of these options had pros and cons. I was leaning toward a noninvasive, outpatient procedure for myself. I was ready to schedule the appointment, but I needed to get all the facts.
I took to the internet and did my research. I asked my mommy friends their advice and became an expert on contraceptives. In the end, we decided it was safer and easier for my husband to get a vasectomy.
After coming to this conclusion and scheduling the appointment, I cried. I was done having babies. I held both my son and daughter in my arms and thanked God that He allowed me to become their mother, the greatest job I know.
Mallory Connelly
Babies & Toddlers
In addition to the time I devote to being a mom, I also work full-time outside the home, which means my day is hardly ever as simple as nine to five. With an all-too-established schedule, as soon as I walk through the door, my day doesn’t end, but rather just begins. It’s a balancing act, especially with two children, but being a mom is one full-time job that I never want to quit!
