As a mom, “taking care of yourself” can feel like something that simply doesn’t fit into your schedule. Between drop-offs, pick-ups, packing lunches, snacks, laundry and stepping on Legos, your own well-being often gets pushed to the bottom of the list. It’s easy to fall into the pattern of just one more thing, and before you know it, the day is gone.
As a personal trainer, I hear the same things over and over again: “I don’t have time” or “I’ll start next week” or “I just need to get through this season.” And I see how easily we, as moms, become our own biggest roadblock. Not because we don’t care but because we’ve convinced ourselves there isn’t another option.
The truth is, self-care doesn’t have to be complicated or time-consuming. It can look different for everyone, but at its core, it’s about consistently supporting your body and mind. Movement, nourishing your body with food and creating small moments of quiet aren’t luxuries, they’re foundational. Let’s take a closer look at the lies we tell ourselves as moms.
Lie #1: I Don’t Have Time
Reality check: You’re right in that you don’t have unlimited time. But you do have some time.
Moving your body, prepping simple meals or taking a few quiet minutes doesn’t have to look like a full hour at the gym, in the kitchen or meditating. It can be 10 minutes of movement in your living room while your kids have screen time (and yes, I fully support that). I’m absolutely the mom doing jumping jacks and running around the park while my kids play.
The lie isn’t that you’re busy, it’s that you’ve convinced yourself it has to be all or nothing.
One of my favorite things to do is take my kids to a nearby church parking lot with their bikes and toys, let them play, and move my body without a strict plan. Just jogging, squatting, lunging and jumping as it comes to me. Because it doesn’t have to be perfect to count. It just has to happen.
Lie #2: It’s Selfish
Reality check: It can feel selfish but that doesn’t mean it is.
So many moms are used to putting everyone else first that the moment they try to do something for themselves, it feels uncomfortable. There’s a voice that says, “I should be doing something else right now.” And sometimes, that feeling alone is enough to stop you before you even start.
But taking care of yourself isn’t taking anything away from your family. It’s what allows you to show up for them in the first place.
When you’re constantly running on empty, everything feels harder. You’re more overwhelmed, more reactive and less patient. And not because you’re doing anything wrong but because you’re depleted.
Self-care doesn’t have to be big or extravagant. It can be a short workout, a few quiet minutes or simply choosing to do something that fills your cup instead of draining it.
Lie #3: I’ll Start When Things Slow Down
Reality check: Things don’t slow down. They just change.
As a personal trainer, I hear this one a lot: “I’ll start when my schedule opens up.” But there’s always going to be something – a busy week, a new schedule or a different phase your kids are in.
It’s easy to think, you’ll start when things calm down. But that “calmer time” rarely shows up the way we expect it to. Instead, what usually happens is we keep pushing it off. We’re waiting for the perfect window that never comes.
The truth is, your self-care habits have to fit into real life. Not the calm, ideal version of life you’ve imagined. Here’s the secret, the best “mom hack” I can give you: go ahead and do it messy.
At the end of the day, this isn’t about doing everything perfectly, It’s about simply getting started.
Don’t Wait For The Perfect Time, Start Now
Starting now, even in a small way, builds consistency. And consistency is what actually creates change. When you wait for the perfect time, you stay stuck. But when you start where you are, you begin to build something that lasts.
These are also the behaviors we want to model for our kids. Not as something reserved for special occasions, but as a normal, everyday part of life.
Taking care of yourself might be messy. It might be unplanned. It might happen in short bursts between everything else or look a little chaotic some days. But that doesn’t make it any less valuable.
Real life isn’t perfectly scheduled or neatly packaged and your self-care doesn’t have to be either. When you stop waiting for the perfect time, the perfect routine or the perfect version of yourself, you give yourself permission to just start.
Cassidy Vineyard Pflanz
I’m originally from North Platte, NE, and Lincoln has been my home for more than a decade. My husband, Justin, and I have been married for almost ten years. We welcomed our first child, Maxwell, during the pandemic, and our youngest, Zoey, arrived in a much calmer chapter of history.
Justin and I are both small business owners—his in the motorsports industry, and mine as a personal trainer and social media manager. Our flexible schedules have allowed us to prioritize family life. When I have a spare moment, you can find me diving into photography, a good book, a favorite podcast, or the kitchen. Motherhood may not be as glamorous as social media makes it out to be—it’s demanding, exhausting, and often messy—but I can’t wait to share the beautifully messy journey with you!
