Home for the Holidays

Home for the Holidays

by | Dec 4, 2023 | Grandparents

The holiday season is always a busy and delightful one. I enjoy opening up our home to family members, their children and grandkids. Our grandkids are growing older, so several of them are seriously dating others, and we do our best to accommodate everyone. Almost 30 guests will be attending Thanksgiving and Christmas with us this year. Even though Iā€™m thrilled, I also realize my time with each grandkid gets shorter every year.

A Successful Thanksgiving

Iā€™m beginning to adjust to hosting 25-30 people for the holidays. Fortunately, Thanksgiving went well, and everyone seemed to have a wonderful time. It was quick for everyone, though, because the girls needed to get back to Kansas City and my sister and her family had another event to attend.

Planning for Christmas

Now that Thanksgiving is over, itā€™ll be a quick turnaround to Christmas. I still marvel at how I did everything when I was working full-time at Lincoln Public School. Where did I find the time and the energy? I have plenty of time now, but the energy is limited. I always try to plan some type of prep work to do each day, making sure my baby steps will get me ready before December 25th.

My Struggles With Gift-Giving

Unlike previous years, my grandkids have been really on top of getting their gifts ideas to me early. They are more aware of the sales taking place now and will do what they can to get the gifts they want and need. This year, they all want clothes for work. Iā€™ve already ordered dress shirts, sweaters, pants, jeans and shoes. From sneakers to dress shoes to Birkenstocks, everyone in my family is getting a new pair of shoes.

Even though the kids have done a great job texting me their wishlists, I worry that I won’t order their requested items correctly. Somehow, I always manage to get the wrong size, color or number of shoes. One time, I ordered what I thought was one pair of tennis shoes, but I received two. All turned out well because the second pair fit me. Bonus!

The other thing that usually throws me off is trying to find the gift receipt for the orders. Why donā€™t they send a printed receipt on the package anymore? Iā€™m all for saving and recycling paper, but what the heck?

Lastly, John and I create traditional Christmas gift tags on each personā€™s presents, which takes additional time. We always think itā€™s funny to make up a name for who the gift is from. We sit down at our laptops and ask Google for ideas. As an example, we’d search for people who always wear tennis shoes and use their name to indicate thatā€™s who gave our family the gift. The person could be famous or not, but it provides a clue to what the gift might be. It also provides a good laugh for everyone. Even Santa. Ho Ho Ho.

Nancy Becker

Nancy Becker

Grandkids & Grandparents

IĀ have four grandchildren ages 14-17. In some ways, Iā€™m a very typical grandma, always proud of everything the kids do and wanting to help support them in whatever way I can.Ā In other ways, Iā€™m not very typical. My goal as a blogger is to share my thoughts and experiences that I think are funny and meaningful as I adventure through grandmahood.

You may also like

What to Do When Children Don’t Want Your Heirlooms

What to Do When Children Don’t Want Your Heirlooms

by | Nov 6, 2023 | Grandparents

John and I are tired of taking care of the yard, trimming, planting, spraying for weeds and yes, even killing garter snakes. Itā€™s not that we donā€™t want to do it, but it seems to be taking us more and more time to accomplish our tasks. We take care of all the cleaning, cooking, hosting holidays for 25+ people, while continuing to be social with friends, book clubs, church events and volunteering in the community.

Our Downsizing Dilemma

Weā€™re not ready to downsize, but many of our friends have already done so. They love it and keep urging us to do the same. The thought of moving is a bit overwhelming. What would we need to get rid of? Do we want to go through two large store rooms and determine what to keep and what to toss? Or would our children and grandchildren want to take some of the treasures that we received from our grandparents?

It wasnā€™t long ago when we were all together and I asked everyone to let me know if there were any items that they wanted. My request went over like a lead balloon. One daughter asked for my grandmother’s bureau, and one of our grandkids asked for an antique pie pantry. That was it. No one was interested in old photo albums, my grandfatherā€™s WWI pictures and helmet, a 1948 antique car and a 1910 pool table or 160 acres of CRP land. These were important to us, why not them?

Rehoming Family Valuables

Iā€™m not trying to brag and say we have more possessions than other grandparents. In fact, other grandparents probably have many more valuable heirlooms. What I am saying is, “What do we do now?” I could have a sale or donate our possessions to refugees or the local Habitat store. Maybe if Antique Roadshow came to Lincoln I could take something in to show. But somehow, I wish some of our things could stay in the family. Our daughters have full houses with no room for more ā€œstuff”. Our grandchildren are still in apartments and have no idea when or if they will make a move to another location or own a home.

Finding Meaning in Letting Go

We still use our good china, but only three times a year. The china seems to be replaced by take-out boxes. As we all age, this will be a growing issue for us baby boomers. Why would we think our children and grandchildren would somehow see the value in things that, in their minds, have no meaning?

Donā€™t get me wrong, Iā€™m not upset about some of these things. I realize there are major costs to maintaining some of these family items, especially with the antique car and acres of land. Iā€™m only trying to think of what my next move will be. Perhaps, I need to make a goal for myself to sell or give things away when Iā€™m not under pressure to do so. Whatā€™s ours may not be theirs, but they will be someoneā€™s. I hope to find satisfaction with that!

Nancy Becker

Nancy Becker

Grandkids & Grandparents

IĀ have four grandchildren ages 14-17. In some ways, Iā€™m a very typical grandma, always proud of everything the kids do and wanting to help support them in whatever way I can.Ā In other ways, Iā€™m not very typical. My goal as a blogger is to share my thoughts and experiences that I think are funny and meaningful as I adventure through grandmahood.

You may also like

My Coach of the Year

My Coach of the Year

by | Oct 2, 2023 | Grandparents

My granddaughter played volleyball at Lincoln Southeast High School and University of Missouri – Kansas City (UMKC), where she received her bachelor’s degree. My husband and I attended her games as often as we could and loved every minute of it. As her grandparents, we always considered her a star, so it was wonderful when she was able to continue her athletic ability in college. And of course, she was a star at UMKC as well. She still holds the record for number of career digs as a libero.

My Granddaughter’s Volleyball Journey

While at UMKC, she received many honors and had a wonderful time. Since she played during COVID-19, she was granted an additional scholarship year. Her fifth year was her participating at Butler University in Indianapolis on scholarship, while working on and receiving her master’s degree. At the end of her master’s year, she applied for several jobs, one of which was to be an assistant coach at her alma mater, UMKC. It was a surprise to her and all of us that she was hired as an assistant coach at UMKC. She was going home. OK, not back to Lincoln, NE, but closer than being in Indianapolis.

The Start of the Season

Her 2023 season started with away tournaments in Florida, Ohio, Michigan and Missouri. UMKC ended their preseason tournaments at home in Kansas City. It was wonderful because now we were able to attend her games more frequently.

Watching Her as a Coach for the First Time

I wasnā€™t quite sure how it would be watching her as a coach, compared to watching her as a player. Watching her as a player, I was nervous and worried about each and every one of her plays. As a player, if she missed a dig, UGH! If she was successful in her play, I screamed and was thrilled and proud. Sometimes, Iā€™d even pace, walking back and forth in an open row of seats. Now, watching her coach, how would I feel?

A Proud Grandparent’s Perspective

We anxiously watched our granddaughter run the team through their pre-game drills. She looked great and hit balls hard for the team members to return. She challenged them with difficult drills and gave them great tips.

Once the game started, I watched her with interest and found I was not disappointed. She handled herself with professionalism, as a great coach would. I loved seeing some of the girls sit by her after they rotated out of the game. They were seeking her advice. She always responded with nods and motions to indicate where they needed to be on the floor. She was doing a great job!

Reviewing Post-Match Performance

Later, I realized I spent more time watching my granddaughter as she sat on the bench taking notes and yelling out coaching tips than I did watching the game. Every time my eyes shifted to the court, my heart stayed with her, as it always will be. As a bonus, they won the match!

After their win, I asked her what she thought could be improved. The worst thing she felt happen was the post-game food order. It had been delivered to the wrong door, but she spent a few minutes making phone calls to track the food down. Only 10 minutes later, the team had their dinner. Maybe thatā€™s another skill sheā€™ll need to work onā€”patience.

Nancy Becker

Nancy Becker

Grandkids & Grandparents

IĀ have four grandchildren ages 14-17. In some ways, Iā€™m a very typical grandma, always proud of everything the kids do and wanting to help support them in whatever way I can.Ā In other ways, Iā€™m not very typical. My goal as a blogger is to share my thoughts and experiences that I think are funny and meaningful as I adventure through grandmahood.

You may also like

Building Houses in Guatemala Didn’t Go As Planned

Building Houses in Guatemala Didn’t Go As Planned

by | Sep 6, 2023 | Grandparents

Last holiday season, I wrote about donating to build a family home in Guatemala. As a recap, I wanted my grandkids to join me and help me build a house for a family in need. I thought this would give my grandchildren a chance to travel together and work on a common goal.

Our Church’s Involvement with ConstruCASA

My church, the First-Plymouth Congregational Church in Lincoln, and the First Congregational United Church of Christ in Crete have built homes and the Xeptetan City Library in Guatemala for years. Both churches partner with ConstruCASA, an international organization that coordinates everything from our housing to finding the right families to receive a new home.

Being the eternal optimist, I figured everything was going to work out perfectly. Weā€™d all quickly find a time for our mission work, which would coordinate with our churchā€™s trips and set up our travel arrangements to Guatemala. Soon, everything would fall into place.

Timing Challenges & Adjustments

I learned our church’s next planned mission trip to Guatemala might be January or February and thought this timing would work great. But then, the plans changed. ConstruCASA’s next build date was in June. Our church’s youth group would be building six homes in Guatemala at this time, tooā€”and one of them was the house we had donated money to build. I knew all of the church kids would love the experience, and I was very excited for them.

Sadly, I knew the June timeframe would not work for us. After two deep breaths and regaining my senses, I realized I had no control and needed to move on. I told the grandkids. They were disappointed they couldn’t participate due to their university classes and jobs.

Taking a New Direction to Support the Cause

So, we did the next best thing, which was to make cards and gift boxes for our family in need. It was the least we could do to show them how much we cared and supported them moving into their new home.

The Final Results

Guatemalan boy with bicycle standing outside newly constructed home

In August, ConstruCASA announced that 39 youth volunteered on the June builds and shared photos of the locals helping out and the families with their new homes.

I shared this information with my grandkids. Although they still wished they could have participated in the building of ā€œourā€ house, they were thrilled to have a visual of the family and their new house. I told my grandkids, “There’s more work to be done, so we might be able to try again another year.”

We all agreed that not being in Guatemala to build our home was hard, but knowing we were helping others certainly felt great for all of us!

Nancy Becker

Nancy Becker

Grandkids & Grandparents

IĀ have four grandchildren ages 14-17. In some ways, Iā€™m a very typical grandma, always proud of everything the kids do and wanting to help support them in whatever way I can.Ā In other ways, Iā€™m not very typical. My goal as a blogger is to share my thoughts and experiences that I think are funny and meaningful as I adventure through grandmahood.

You may also like

Why I Worry About My Granddaughters Living Together

Why I Worry About My Granddaughters Living Together

by | Aug 7, 2023 | Grandparents

All three of our granddaughters are in Kansas City living together. Iā€™m not worried about how it will work out, but I wonder if they do. Okay, maybe I’m a little worried.

Unforgettable Camping Mishaps & Playful Adventures

When they were young, all four grandkids stayed over night at our house, sometimes two to three times a week. It was great. They built forts, dressed up in costumes, put on plays and even slept outside in a tent. They played pool, did acrobatics in the basement and put holes in the walls when their somersaults and other antics went sideways. Most of all, they enjoyed each others company.

They always shared with each other and never fought who they slept with. They were resourceful. Yet I always felt this pressure to make sure they were entertained, having fun, laughing and learning. It was rarely hard.

Except when John and I took them camping near Mt. Rushmore. One of the grandkids got diarrhea in the middle of the night. That experience was not so much fun for either my grandchild or me, but of course John and the others slept through the whole thing.

Reuniting Under One Roof

Fifteen years later, the granddaughters are back together in an apartment sharing rent and other resources. I wonder what changes they will face.

Exploring the Challenges Ahead

John and I visited them last week in KC and everything was perfect. Their apartment is on the ninth floor of a downtown apartment building in Kansas City, Missouri, across the street from the main library. The view is amazing. The area feels safe and is very clean.

The girls have figured out how to pay for the rent and utilities. Maybe thatā€™s a no-brainer for them, but it will be interesting to see how they figure everything else out. Because now if someone puts a hole in the wall, they need to pay for it or fix it themselves. Grandpa wonā€™t be there to do the work for them. If they get diarrhea or wet the bed? They need to change it themselves.

And what about resolving issues that may arise? Two girls sleep in separate bedrooms and the third sleeps on a mattress on the living room floor, so what happens when they come home late and wake up my granddaughter in the common space?

I fear they’ll get upset with one another, speak negatively and never recover. I only want my girls to remain close through this temporary joint living arrangement.

A Grandmother’s Wish for Everlasting Connection

None of them have asked for my advice, and I doubt they will ever complain to me about the others. Iā€™ve never been in control of my grandkids and never will be, so I can only hope they keep and grow their bond during this time and see how they can continue to maintain their relationships with each other for years to come. And more importantly, keep connected to me!

Nancy Becker

Nancy Becker

Grandkids & Grandparents

IĀ have four grandchildren ages 14-17. In some ways, Iā€™m a very typical grandma, always proud of everything the kids do and wanting to help support them in whatever way I can.Ā In other ways, Iā€™m not very typical. My goal as a blogger is to share my thoughts and experiences that I think are funny and meaningful as I adventure through grandmahood.

You may also like

Many Memories Worth Sharing

Many Memories Worth Sharing

by | Jul 10, 2023 | Grandparents

I don’t know if my daughter thought I was going to die soon, but I do know she gave my husband and I the gift of Storyworth, a keepsake book to record our lives so that we could pass down our memories and heritage to our family. Below is the experience we had writing our story.

How the Storyworth Process Works

We were sent a new prompt every Monday with questions about how we grew up, what our relationship with our grandparents were like, what songs we listened to in our youth, what our favorite stories with our siblings were and many more. They arrived each week for a year.

So, for 365 days, John and I responded to our prompts, never once sharing our questions or discussing what we were writing.

Two Different Writing Styles

I never talk about myself too much. Iā€™d rather shine the spotlight on someone else. So writing a “Nancy” book plucked me out of my comfort zone. Iā€™ve never been a terrific storyteller either, so my goal was to just answer my prompt in one day. As a result, my writing turned out short, to-the-point, and never played favorites with family members. But I included pictures, hoping the Kodak moments would be the highlight.

My husband, on the other hand, didnā€™t answer every question, but he took his time when he did respond to them. He thought about funny examples and adjusted the question to fit his humorous story.

Everyone’s a Critic, Even Our Grandkids

Our grandchildren read our books. They complimented our writing, thanking us for giving them stories about our lives growing up. They admitted that they weren’t as enthralled with our tales as they were when they read Harry Potter, but I’m not sure that’s true.

They talked at length about my husband’s stories. Everyone laughed and politely teased him about his experiences. His stories were wonderful, memorable and touching to all of us. We all felt closer to him.

Reflections from a Newfound Writer

I appreciated the opportunity to share stories that my grandkids may have never heard otherwise. Iā€™m not getting any younger and often forget what I did yesterday or the major themes in a book I just finished.

Part of me wishes I had a do-over with my book. Iā€™m not disappointed in what I wrote, exactly, but perhaps I didnā€™t give it the time I should have devoted to the project. I learned that I need to continue to look for ways to share my life and experiences with my grandkids.

Nancy Becker

Nancy Becker

Grandkids & Grandparents

IĀ have four grandchildren ages 14-17. In some ways, Iā€™m a very typical grandma, always proud of everything the kids do and wanting to help support them in whatever way I can.Ā In other ways, Iā€™m not very typical. My goal as a blogger is to share my thoughts and experiences that I think are funny and meaningful as I adventure through grandmahood.

You may also like

Life Lessons Beyond the Cap & Gown

Life Lessons Beyond the Cap & Gown

by | Jun 5, 2023 | Grandparents

Three of our four grandkids have received their bachelorā€™s degree. This past weekend, one of those three received her master’s degree.

Reflections on Aging at Graduation

I keep telling myself, “Iā€™m too young for this. Stop the clock of life. Time is moving too quickly!” Every one of my college graduates still look like they are 12 years old. To the graduates, I probably look like Iā€™m 100 years old. I guess thatā€™s the way life goes.

From High School Principal to Proud Grandma

For our granddaughter’s master’s degree ceremony, the commencement speech was a blur to me. I kept my eyes glued on her, bursting with pride, as she walked down the aisle and found her seat.

In my high school principal days, my eyes would’ve been watching for every stupid little thing like beach balls or air horns. But today, there were no beach balls or air horns. I began to relax, and I thought how funny it was that my old job was still part of my personality.

Memories of High School Graduations

I remember going to many high school graduations as the principal. Usually, I made transitional comments to keep the event flowing and sent positive thoughts to graduates and their parents. With such large graduating classes, our high school graduations lasted well over an hour. I certainly didnā€™t want to keep the ceremony going any longer than needed. Everyone was always excited and ready to celebrate.

A Grandparent’s Advice for Post-Grad Success

At the end of my granddaughterā€™s graduation, I wanted to give a speech, but I didnā€™t think she wanted to hear one from her grandma. Instead, I shared advice throughout the day. I told her:

  • Keep learning. Don’t think your education is over. Learn about the people around you, learn from the people around you and learn about yourself.
  • Look for the good in everything every day. There is too much negativity in todayā€™s world, too many people upset with each other and sad stories youā€™ll hear. Look for the all the positives around you. When you donā€™t see any positives, look at things from a different perspective.
  • Make the world a better place. There will always be anger between countries, between politicians and even between family. Some of these issues may affect you, while you may not even know about others. When the situation does affect you, listen intently and learn. Do your best to understand and make it better.
  • Have fun and laugh hard.

Times Change, Lessons Stay the Same

On our drive back from Indiana, I tried to recall what I told my daughters in the 80’s at their graduations. It was something like, “Enjoy your life, work hard and help others in need.” That advice wasn’t much different than what I was telling my four grandkids now. So, while times may have changed, some things will always remain the same.

Nancy Becker

Nancy Becker

Grandkids & Grandparents

IĀ have four grandchildren ages 14-17. In some ways, Iā€™m a very typical grandma, always proud of everything the kids do and wanting to help support them in whatever way I can.Ā In other ways, Iā€™m not very typical. My goal as a blogger is to share my thoughts and experiences that I think are funny and meaningful as I adventure through grandmahood.

You may also like

A Grandparent’s Guide to Fostering Political Engagement

A Grandparent’s Guide to Fostering Political Engagement

by | May 1, 2023 | Grandparents

Politics. Some people say itā€™s a naughty word. Others say itā€™s our nationā€™s most popular sport. Some people are conservative, some are liberal. While others look at issues, legislative bills and the law independently to make decisions regarding the issue and the impact on all citizens. Some say politics save us, and others say politics destroy us. We all think differently, which makes it interesting.

Lifelong Passion For Politics & Empathy

Iā€™ve always been political, ever since I had friends who were sent to fight in Vietnam. After a classmateā€™s death, the whole concept of speaking to power became engrained in me and is now part of my personality. That, coupled with Title IX, had something to do with also forming the personality I now possess. Iā€™ve turned into a grandma who wants to help everyone in need.

Nurturing Civic Engagement

Iā€™ve always tried to share my opinions with the grandkids without telling them what to do and what not to do. Thatā€™s their parents’ job, not mine. Now my grandkids are of voting age, so I remind them to investigate the candidates, pick their choice and vote. I would love to tell them how to vote, but I know better.

I let the grandkids know when Iā€™m making calls with a phonebank, knocking on doors, putting up yard signs and writing postcards. They usually donā€™t respond or they will send me a smiley note. I have no idea if they actually read it, but Iā€™m hoping theyā€™ll eventually catch on.

Events of the Ralph Yarl Shooting

The other day, one of my grandkids gave me a call and told me I should look into the Ralph Yarl shooting in Kansas City. Ralph was a 16-year-old who was picking up his younger siblings from their friend’s house. He thought he had the correct address and went to the door to get his brothers. Unfortunately, he was on the wrong street. When he knocked on the door, the homeowner was frightened and shot Ralph through the glass door. Ralph struggled to his feet and went to several other homes seeking help. Finally, someone called the police. Ralph was transported to the hospital, where he was treated and released after several days.

I asked my granddaughter if she knew the area where the shooting occurred. She indicated it wasnā€™t close to her apartment, but one of her friends lived very close. I asked her if she was frightened, and she said no but wanted me to help bring an awareness to others and get involved in important, life or death issues.

Taking a Stand For Gun Control

Since I talked to her earlier this week, Iā€™ve thought more about her request. We have homicides in Lincoln, but Iā€™ve always thought of them as people who were angry with each other. But I checked the Lincoln and Nebraska statistics about hate crimes. They are certainly here. Lincoln and Nebraska are not immune. So I started calling my state legislator and asked about his views on gun control. He does not seem to believe in gun control. He wants anyone, anywhere to have quick access to their favorite firearm.

I called my granddaughter and told her Iā€™ve found my new cause, which may give her some motivation to do the same. If nothing else, I know sheā€™ll read my new questions and comments about getting involved.

Two days later, she sent me a video as she marched through downtown Kansas City and protested. I guess grandkids are always listening, and they will act when the topic hits home. Weā€™ll always be connected!

Nancy Becker

Nancy Becker

Grandkids & Grandparents

IĀ have four grandchildren ages 14-17. In some ways, Iā€™m a very typical grandma, always proud of everything the kids do and wanting to help support them in whatever way I can.Ā In other ways, Iā€™m not very typical. My goal as a blogger is to share my thoughts and experiences that I think are funny and meaningful as I adventure through grandmahood.

You may also like

Revisiting Rowe Sanctuary in the Sandhills

Revisiting Rowe Sanctuary in the Sandhills

by | Apr 3, 2023 | Grandparents

Last week, my husband John and I visited Rowe Sanctuary to watch the cranes. We knew it was early in the season, but John had a meeting as chair for the Spring Creek Prairie Stewardship Board. It was great timing for all of the events.

Our Most Memorable Moments

Several years ago, we took our grandkids to Rowe to watch the cranes. They were enthralled and enjoyed every moment. While we’ve had many adventures with them over the yearsā€”like skiing and traveling to Hawaiiā€”Rowe is still a favorite. When we told them we’d be returning, they shared their best memories of the trip.

My grandson remembers throwing up in the car. The other grandkids talked about laughing out loud when they were supposed to be quiet. None of us could forget the freezing wind against our faces.

Rediscovering Sanctuary Grounds

As John participated in his meeting, I began to re-explore the sanctuary grounds. It looked different, yet the same. Maybe that’s because I had my cataracts removed and needed a new pair of glasses, or maybe the place was actually new.

I noticed the river had changed course because of the flooding in Nebraska. I saw some of the trees near the river had died, but they still looked majestic in the openness of the sanctuary. There was a bit of snow left on the ground.

I took pictures and shared them with our four grandkids. They compared the photos to their memories. They still loved hearing the cranes in the field eating and resting.

Planning Virtual Crane Viewing

We all remembered the weather, the animals, and each other’s company. “But do you remember anything about the cranes?” I asked them. They paused for a minute and I laughed, reminding myself that our visit happened years ago.

“We’d love to visit Rowe again,” they said, “now that we’re older.” I wondered if my more mature grandchildren would get something new out of the experience. Then I questioned if they were actually mature when they were all together.

Either way, I knew they were all too busy with school and work to come to the event this year. So, I suggested video calling them and watching the livestream of the cranes on our laptops. After telling me my idea was a little archaic, they all agreed to give it a try. We set a date and time. I couldnā€™t wait.

Creating Imperfect Memories

The livestream and our video call were wonderful. They weren’t perfect, but we all agreed it was the best we could do. While none of us are ā€œbirders,ā€ we still appreciated our time together, making memories and embracing the ā€œoopsā€ moments just like we did all those years ago. If you could communicate with the cranes, they’d tell you that the “oops” moments are the best of all.

Nancy Becker

Nancy Becker

Grandkids & Grandparents

IĀ have four grandchildren ages 14-17. In some ways, Iā€™m a very typical grandma, always proud of everything the kids do and wanting to help support them in whatever way I can.Ā In other ways, Iā€™m not very typical. My goal as a blogger is to share my thoughts and experiences that I think are funny and meaningful as I adventure through grandmahood.

You may also like

Stepping In to Make a Wedding Perfect

Stepping In to Make a Wedding Perfect

by | Mar 6, 2023 | Grandparents

When I was principal at Lincoln Northstar High School, I was blessed to have so many refugee and immigrant students. I loved hearing their stories and helping their families navigate the United States. But one studentā€”a 15-year-old born in Togo, Africaā€”became my life-long friend.

Finding His North Star

His name is Vincent. Vincent was intelligent, bilingual in English and French, social and successful in several clubs at Northstar. Vincentā€™s mother was a single parent to three boys. They didn’t have extended family in Lincoln, but they did well. Over the years, I watched Vincent grow in his career and personal relationships. He met a wonderful young woman, Elizabeth, and introduced her to me at Thanksgiving dinner.

Love in the Time of COVID-19

Then, during the height of the pandemic, Vincent and Elizabeth called me. They wanted to meet with me. When they arrived, Vincent announced they were getting married. Since neither of them were religious, they wondered if I would officiate their wedding. I quickly said yes.

Planning a Pandemic Wedding

They werenā€™t having their wedding until 2022, which gave me plenty of time to get ordained. I contacted a friend who knew how to get an officiant certificate online. She talked me through the process. Done.

Later, I had to plan the ceremony. Throughout the process, I asked for their input, posed questions to the couple and continued my research. Little by little, everything came together. Thatā€™s when I started to get nervous. What if their big day wasn’t perfect? Not a day went by without me thinking of how I could make things better for them.

Up until the rehearsal, I had kept quiet and did what I was told. But that night while everyone scrambled, my principal voice came out. I directed staff that hadn’t worked a wedding before. I reorganized the processional and recessional when the mothers of the couple couldn’t see as they sat on the outside of their rows. Vincent and Elizabeth gave me a thumbs up.

Becoming a Substitute Grandma

The next day, the wedding went off without a hitch. The food and venue were perfect, and the couple looked radiantā€”their love for each other on full display. I still felt guilty about butting in, but I reminded myself thatā€™s what grandmas do, even substitute grandmas. They work hard to make things perfect, stepping in when something is off. And while Iā€™m not ready to officiate at another wedding, I know I can be a substitute grandma any time Iā€™m needed.

Nancy Becker

Nancy Becker

Grandkids & Grandparents

IĀ have four grandchildren ages 14-17. In some ways, Iā€™m a very typical grandma, always proud of everything the kids do and wanting to help support them in whatever way I can.Ā In other ways, Iā€™m not very typical. My goal as a blogger is to share my thoughts and experiences that I think are funny and meaningful as I adventure through grandmahood.

You may also like

How Healthy Is My Heart?

How Healthy Is My Heart?

by | Feb 6, 2023 | Grandparents

I fell in my home. It was in the afternoon on a very cold day. I was watching TV, keeping occupied inside instead of braving the cold and walking outdoors. As is known to happen to grandmas, I had the urgent need to use the bathroom. Youā€™ve seen the commercials, so you know how this goes. I threw the blanket off my lap, not realizing it was still wrapped around my legs. Then, bam! When I went to stand, I fell flat on my side.

Getting Up After a Fall

As I was lying still, I saw blood under my head. I slowly got up, saw more blood, and got to work cleaning my wound and the floor. Soon after, John joined me and looked at the side of my head. He insisted on taking me to an urgent care. I shooed the idea away until my head started pounding. Then I agreed. At the urgent care, the staff was very helpful, and I walked away with three staples.

Round Two in the Urgent Care

The next morning, my head was better, but now my right foot hurt. We went to Bryanā€™s urgent care without any disagreements from me this time. After X-rays, I was put into a walking boot because of a fracture in my foot. I could only think, “What the heck? An injury?” This was a first for me.

I know I will heal fine and be back to playing pickleball and taking long walks in a couple of months. However, it did cause me to think about my age and my personal expiration date.

Finding My Heart Age

I routinely go to my primary care physician, and heā€™s never put up any red flags about my longevity. Still, I was curious to find out if my heart age was the same as my chronological age. I remember seeing something in his office about comparing those two ages through an online questionnaire. My daughters and grandkids were all concerned about me. Everyone would be on my back if I didn’t look into it.

So, I took the questionnaire called HeartAware. It was easy to complete, even for an old lady like myself. I couldnā€™t recall all of my health information, but by going through my old ā€œMyChartā€ entries, I figured it out.

My HeartAware Results

The results of the questionnaire were not perfect, but they also weren’t as bad as they could have been. My actual age is a couple of years younger than my heart age. My cholesterol level was my main issue, but I’m allergic to statins, so I’ll try to lower my cholesterol through diet.

I informed all of my kids and grandkids about the difference in the two ages. Their reactions varied from, ā€œBut youā€™re so active, how could that be?ā€ to ā€œWhat will you do about it?ā€ to ā€œHave you told your primary care physician?ā€ All of these were good questions.

I promised my grandkids I would follow up on all of their suggestions, even before Iā€™m able to take this crazy boot off. Iā€™ve created a new Rocky workout routine and hope it goes well. All my grandkids told me they loved me, but they couldnā€™t figure out who Rocky was.

Take an Online Screening

What’s your heart age? Take the free HeartAware Risk Assessment now to find out!

Nancy Becker

Nancy Becker

Grandkids & Grandparents

IĀ have four grandchildren ages 14-17. In some ways, Iā€™m a very typical grandma, always proud of everything the kids do and wanting to help support them in whatever way I can.Ā In other ways, Iā€™m not very typical. My goal as a blogger is to share my thoughts and experiences that I think are funny and meaningful as I adventure through grandmahood.

You may also like

A Christmas Miracle in the Making for 2023

A Christmas Miracle in the Making for 2023

by | Jan 9, 2023 | Grandparents

Our family had a wonderful holiday, and my grown grandkids are once again believers in Santa Claus.

Iā€™ve tried multiple times to get my grandkids together to go on a quick trip around Christmas. In the past, when the grandkids were on holiday vacation, we took several trips to Disney World and California. It was an adventure. The weather and airlines were always perfect. We havenā€™t been able to recreate that magic lately. College and work schedules won’t cooperate, but that doesn’t stop me from researching places they’d find enjoyable.

A Plan Is Formed

This year, I wanted to provide my grandkids with a meaningful experience. I often volunteer with my church to build homes in Guatemala, so I made a donation to the cause in my grandkids’ names. Secretly, I also hoped they could join me in Guatemala to build the home.

The Big Reveal

After opening our gifts on Christmas, I showed my four grandchildren a video of a Guatemalan family thanking Constru Casa for the contributions and efforts made by our church to build their family a new home. When the grandkids saw the video, they were a little confused. They knew I had visited Guatemala several times to help build homes, but they had no idea why I was showing them the video.

It was then that I revealed to them that I had sent Constru Casa funds for a new homeā€”that the building would have a plaque next to the front door with their names on it. Iā€™ve never seen them so quiet. I also told them I was planning to help with the build, and I would pay for their trips and time to join me if they could.

Real Christmas Miracles

Tears of joy sprang to their eyes. My grandkids, who are always talking, had nothing to say. I loved it! Very rarely do they get overcome with emotion. I know it may never happen again.

I explained that the dates for the build hadn’t been set yet, that the real Christmas miracleā€”getting time off and actually making it happenā€”was still to come. I understood if they couldn’t plan around school and work without a solid timeframe. But they want to get their hands dirty, so I’m starting my investigation.

When will the build take place? Will I be able to build? Will any of my grandkids be able to join me?

This story isn’t over. It will be continued when I have more information. For now, I’m excited by the possibility. Weā€™re giving back and helping to make a family’s life better. I know that my grandkids, whether they join in person or vicariously, will have this project to be proud of forever.

So, yes, there is a Santa Claus.

Nancy Becker

Nancy Becker

Grandkids & Grandparents

IĀ have four grandchildren ages 14-17. In some ways, Iā€™m a very typical grandma, always proud of everything the kids do and wanting to help support them in whatever way I can.Ā In other ways, Iā€™m not very typical. My goal as a blogger is to share my thoughts and experiences that I think are funny and meaningful as I adventure through grandmahood.

You may also like

Pin It on Pinterest