Have You Heard of Catfishing?

If you are the parent of a teen, you need to know about it.

A few weeks ago, my 15-year-old daughter said to me, “Mom, I’m watching a TV show that I think you would like. It’s called Catfish.” My response: “Why are you watching a fishing show?”

She went on to explain that it’s a show on MTV and has nothing to do with fish. I am not a fan of MTV programming but agreed to give Catfish a try. After one episode, my eyes were opened, and I was completely fascinated.

What Is Catfishing?

If you aren’t familiar with the term “catfishing”—and I wasn’t—it is a current phenomenon where someone creates fake online identities and social media accounts to trick and entice people into emotional/romantic relationships over a long period of time.

As parents, we have been warned about this type of thing, and we usually think about pedophiles or creepy people pretending to be 15-year-old girls to entice kids into a friendship with dangerous ulterior motives.

Catfishing is different. It involves someone using a fake name and fake photos to start an online friendship with someone who typically lives a long way away. This friendship involves a ton of communication via texting and, many times, phone conversations. These two share their problems, dreams, frustrations, life celebrations, and more over the phone and online. Over time, the friendship tends to become a deeper relationship, and the two begin pledging their love to each other…even though they have never met face-to-face or never even video-chatted.

The Catfish show includes two hosts who track down and confront suspected catfishers. What amazes me are the motives of most of these catfishers. They aren’t trying to scam money or lure people into illegal or dangerous activity. They’re using it as a means to form a friendship and relationship, albeit a deceitful one.

What further amazes me are the catfish victims. These young people believe they are in a deep emotional relationship with the people who are catfishing them. Many claim that they are in love and are even considering making life-altering decisions based on their relationship with this online person. What blows my mind is that they can feel this way even though they have never even met or talked face to face.

Why Should Parents Be Aware of Catfishing?

You may think that these examples are extreme, but Catfish is finishing its fifth season with over 100 episodes, and there appears to be an ample supply of potential victims contacting them for help.

As a parent, it is hard for me to imagine someone able to feel like they have such a deep connection with someone they have never met. But that illustrates a generational difference that I need to be aware of so I can parent effectively.

Today’s social media-saturated kids use online means to connect with others, and it can go overboard. Watching this television show together—as crazy as it sounds—has been a great learning experience and springboard for discussion for my daughters and me.

Most of the victims on Catfish come to realize that the person they’ve grown attached to online isn’t really the person they thought he or she was. They’re devastated, regretful and embarrassed by their vulnerability. Both parties are obviously dealing with insecurity, loneliness and sometimes just curiosity or boredom.

This experience has been a great reminder and a beautiful illustration that you can’t believe everything you see online and that a true friendship or relationship can only be created and verified through face-to-face contact.

If your child is dealing with life challenges and could benefit from talking to someone, we have specially trained counselors who can help. Contact the Bryan Counseling Center today.