Date night? What’s that? The thing I replaced with “Your turn to bathe the kids” night or “I’m working late again” night.

Falling into a Routine

Lately, I noticed that my husband and I have been in a rut. It’s routine, routine, routine…and no romance. The constant drumbeat of responsibilities at work and home, along with our other roles and obligations, can set us adrift in a sea of sameness.

I know it’s natural for even the best relationships to feel a little routine sometimes, but we needed to give something different a try. And even though change can be frightening, it had to happen.

It may seem beyond our economic reach—or even our ability—to get away from everything, but we had to try something to get us out of our rut. It couldn’t be a lavish vacation, so we settled for just getting the kids to sleep at the same time on the weekends to have some alone time.

I realized I’m good at scheduling appointments and activities, so I made an appointment with my husband.

The problem is my almost four-year-old never sleeps—or at least doesn’t sleep in her own bed very well. We picked a night we both agreed on and purposely didn’t set her down for a nap, hoping she’d be ready for her bed by 8:30 p.m. Luckily, she and my son fell right to sleep…the night was ours!

How We Make Time for Each Other

We caught up on each other’s lives. It wasn’t just about the kids. It was actually having a conversation with an adult. Then, we opened a bottle of wine, popped some popcorn and agreed on a movie we both wanted to watch, even though our tastes are drastically different, especially with TV shows. (During the week, he watches TV downstairs while I’m upstairs…hence the problem.)

Just making time for each other seemed to help. But we realized we both need to try harder throughout the week. We need to become more involved in each other’s lives.

Trying out a new hobby with each other, having an actual discussion instead of the typical “How was your day?” chat, or even just saying I love you more. We needed to get out of the rut, and it took just a simple post-it note on my mirror in the morning or a text message throughout the day.

However, we decided we needed to come up with some more fun and inexpensive ways to have date nights after the kids go to bed. We put suggestions in a jar, scheduled dates for weekend nights when we had no other plans and drew suggestions a couple days in advance to prepare. Some of the suggestions included game night with friends, a coloring contest and painting.

After realizing we were in a romantic rut, it was fun to fall in love with my husband again.

Mallory Connelly

Mallory Connelly

Babies & Toddlers

In addition to the time I devote to being a mom, I also work full-time outside the home, which means my day is hardly ever as simple as nine to five. With an all-too-established schedule, as soon as I walk through the door, my day doesn’t end, but rather just begins. It’s a balancing act, especially with two children, but being a mom is one full-time job that I never want to quit!

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