I have seen articles and lists created by parenting and family experts of specific things parents should say to their children. Things like, “I’m sorry” and “I believe in you” or “I’m proud of you.” I agree wholeheartedly. Our kids need to hear these things from their parents or guardians over and over.
I’m going to take it one step further and add a few of my own ideas to the list. I’m no expert, but here are a few more things we should be saying to our kids, especially as the school year begins:
“That’s too expensive.”
Clothes, shoes, electronics, earphones, video games, sporting equipment – you name it, expensive brands are out there. And, I guarantee one of your kid’s friends will have the most expensive name brand on the first day of school. It’s OK to say, “No” and “Let’s go find a knockoff at Walmart.”
“Figure it out yourself.”
I can look at my kids’ issues and problems and tell them step-by-step how to fix them. And, believe me, I want to help them fix everything. I have to remind myself that if I don’t let them practice now, they won’t be able to solve their own problems after high school.
“It’s OK to be bored.”
We are over-stimulated and over-screened. I’m trying to convince my kids that it is good to give their brains (and eyes) a rest from TV and technology and let their thoughts and imagination wander.
“Wait until you are older.”
My first concert was the band “Alabama” when I was in college. Recently, my 12-year-old daughter reminded me almost daily of the date that Demi Lovato concert tickets were going on sale. I knew a 10-year-old who asked for Starbucks and iTunes gift cards for her birthday. (What happened to Polly Pockets and Barbie?) I think it’s OK to tell kids to save some things for when they are older and more age-appropriate. If they don’t, what will be left to experience?
“Your teacher isn’t out to get you. You need to pay better attention in class and work harder.”
Teachers put up with more than we realize. I hate to see parents knee-jerk and join their child in ganging up on a teacher when it simply isn’t justified. Get the teacher’s side of the story before jumping to conclusions.
“Put your phone away.”
I’ve learned that today’s teenagers need to be forced to interact with one another and shouldn’t just live their lives in cyberspace. It’s not their fault — they’ve grown up with phones and watched us treat them like an additional appendage. It’s a good lesson in moderation, respect for the person you are with and how to avoid running into walls while walking the hallways at school.
“No, we aren’t getting popcorn, candy and an Icee at the movie.”
One ticket costs $9.50. Enough said.
Anne Blankenbiller
K-12 & Teens
Most of my mornings, afternoons, and evenings are spent driving the kids here and there—and then back to here again. Every child is a gift on loan from God. As parents, our job is to raise that child to be an independent adult who can contribute to the world using the gifts and talents he or she was given. It is hands-down the most important job on earth!
