I’ve never been one to ask myself the “why me” question when something doesn’t go as planned in my life. Thankfully, when times have been difficult I’ve been able to skip past this question and look for solutions by asking “what if”. Often, when life presents a challenge, we face a fork in the road or a juncture in our path, forcing a decision on how we navigate through the difficult time. We have a conversation with ourselves – self-talk. Our inner voice leads our mind to think in a positive or negative manner. And if allowed, over time, the fork fades and we find ourselves following the same route every time – positive or negative.
Benefits of Positive Self-Talk
If we use positive self-talk, our outlook on life will be brighter and more optimistic. Positive self-talk can also:
- Improve self-esteem
- Increase energy level
- Reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety
- Make us feel more in control of our life
- Help with pain
- Help to achieve our goals
These are all good things that we strive for daily.
Impact of Negative Self-Talk
Negative self-talk, as we might imagine, is just the opposite. It can be overly critical, pessimistic and focused on the bad. It can lower our self-confidence, zap our energy, create anxiety, focus on pain and block us from reaching goals.
Although it is not our intention to think negatively, the more we listen to our inner voice we believe it and can be overwhelmed. I think of it as something that brings us down and creates darkness. We forget what it feels like to welcome the day with joy, hope and gratitude.
Syncing My Inner Voice
I bring this subject up because it’s been on my mind lately. Before I retired, it seemed like I never had time to concentrate on myself. I was focusing on being a partner for Pat, raising our sons, fulfilling my work responsibilities and helping my parents as needs arose. I felt healthy and energized. I felt capable. I accepted any assignment or task that came my way. It never entered my mind to question if this was something I could handle. Since retiring, I have found my thoughts straying into unknown territory. Questioning if this is something I can handle or thinking about things I never placed importance on.
I used to venture out in all kinds of weather, never hesitating. Now, I check the weather to see if I should. I used to rearrange the furniture whenever the whim hit me. Now, I wait to ask for help from my husband. I look in the mirror, wondering what I’m going to do about the color of my hair, the lines appearing on my forehead and the brown aging spots on my cheek. I stretch my neck attempting to erase the folds and I do arm circles hoping to reduce the sagging. Stepping on the scale has become a daily task, forcing myself to open my eyes to look at the number that appears. Who is this person and why am I focusing on these things when they only create anxiety and stress?
It’s that self-talk. It’s allowing that inner voice to place doubt and whisper negative thoughts. This past week I told myself it’s time to turn things around. Now that I’m aware of what I’m saying, I’m going to challenge myself. I’m going to question the validity of the voice, and the things that I am focusing on. Are they really important to me?
If you’re feeling a bit out of sync with your inner voice, I encourage you to do the same. I know just by writing this blog, I’m feeling more determined than ever to check that glass and make sure it’s half full rather than half empty.
The Optimist Creed
In closing, I’d like to leave you with the following creed from the Optimist International organization. I attended a memorial service, and the family used it in the program. It left an impression.
Promise Yourself
To be SO STRONG that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet.
To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the GREATER ACHIEVEMENTS of the future.
To wear a cheerful countenance AT ALL TIMES and give every living creature you meet a smile.
To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have NO TIME to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
-Optimist International-
*Some information taken from healthdirect.gov.au
Ellen Beans
I’m originally from Arlington, NE. My husband, Pat, is from Cozad, NE. After spending the past 45 years in Lincoln, we are proud to call it our home.
I served as a Director at Bryan Health for 40 years. Pat served as the Chief Financial Officer for NRC Health for many years. He now serves as the Manager for Amandla, LLC.
We have two sons, Winston and Beau. Winston is married to Emily, and they have a daughter, Sophia, 5 years old. Beau is engaged to Kelcie, and we are anxiously awaiting a wedding date!
As the author of the Grandparent blog, I’ll be writing about the challenges and rewards of retirement. I’ll focus on the roles I have taken on in life … spouse, parent, In-law, grandparent, colleague and friend, and how they have changed over the years. This is the plan for the blog, but as we all know, plans can change!
