Making Memories on the Golf Course

Making Memories on the Golf Course

by | Oct 7, 2024 | Grandparents

For years l’ve written about what my grandkids were up to, into or moving away from. It has always been about how my life has interacted with theirsā€”the ups, downs and ‘looking forward to’s. Since this summer, I have stood on the sidelines while my husband has been living the dream by playing golf with our grandson. I used to play golf, but arthritis hampers any swing I can even attempt. So I have sent them on their own as they’ve learned to enjoy the sport together.

Standing on the Sidelines

At first, John didn’t say much as he knew I wanted to be out there with them. Once, I did ask if I could just ride in the cart, and I quickly learned that even when you don’t play, it costs money to watch others play. I’m too tight with my spending, so l declined. It was about the same time when I realized I don’t have to be the only grandparent involved in the fun activities. I’m still working on it, but I do understand and enjoy it vicariously. It’s definitely a work in progress.

Our Grandson’s Golfing Experience

Our grandson never played golf in high school. Basketball and baseball were his sports. It was fun to learn he was taking it up while he was in college. He played a bit last year, but really started to hit the links this year. He played with his roommates and sometimes even chose to play the city courses by himself. Then, Grandpa asked him if he could join in on the fun. There was no hesitancy, and soon Grandpa and his grandson were playing weekly.

Golfing Together

After my weekly inquiries, I learned about their games and could create visuals in my head. I soon learned my grandson and husband played from different tee boxes: regular men’s tees and senior tees. Evidently, our grandson could hit the lights out of the ball, which hopefully went in the direction of the green. Grandpa had a better short game, so usually their scores were relatively close. As the summer progressed, our grandson’s short game improved, while Grandpa’s long game was still in need of many, many yards.

A man and his grandson standing on a golf course and smiling.

Finding New Sports to Play

Each time they play golf together, they have a great time with lots of laughter and jokes (hopefully, none about me!). For Grandpa, it’s a dream come true. After our grandson was born, my husband had a needed surgery on his rotator cuff. His goal was to get better and be able to toss the ball with his grandson. They enjoyed each other then, and after a hiatus, they are back enjoying yet another sport together. My husband is thrilled and determined to keep it up.

Keeping Up the Tradition

I know John’s goal is to work hard and continue this new tradition with his only grandson. Perhaps I’ll suggest going South in the winter and add a bit of bribery. It always worksā€”at least it has so far!

Nancy Becker

Nancy Becker

Grandkids & Grandparents

I have four grandchildren ages 14-17. In some ways, Iā€™m a very typical grandma, always proud of everything the kids do and wanting to help support them in whatever way I can. In other ways, Iā€™m not very typical. My goal as a blogger is to share my thoughts and experiences that I think are funny and meaningful as I adventure through grandmahood.

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Finding Time to Connect with My Grandkids

Finding Time to Connect with My Grandkids

by | Aug 5, 2024 | Grandparents

At this moment, Iā€™m sitting in front of our rental cabin at Chadron State Park. Itā€™s a beautiful day, the sun is shining and there is a nice breeze which is keeping the heat away. We came on this 10-day vacation to get away. Weā€™ll spend a couple of days in Chadron, a couple in Custard State Park, and then to Silverthorne, Colorado. Weā€™ve taken our e-bikes and plan to do a little biking at each stop.

Family photo of Nancy and her grandkids at a restaurant

How I’ve Stayed in Touch Over the Years

Just because weā€™re getting away does not mean I want to get away from my grandkids. OK, they are always away, but my normal, and sometimes timely emails and calls are not normal while weā€™re traveling. It made me think of the many different ways Iā€™ve communicated with them over the years.

During COVID, everyone was either in high school or an out-of-state university. During those years, we zoomed a lot. Everyone had free time on Sunday afternoons and I took advantage of my ability to see everyone at the same time. It also seemed to work for their schedule as we met every week, there were times not all four of the grandkids were able to join, but usually they all were there. I had the time of my life. Grandkids, not COVID!

Slowly but surely, they started to graduate from college, one by one. Our zoom calls were smaller as there were times they needed to work. I had expected this but didnā€™t immediately realize the direct effect it would have on me. I refused to pout or complain, although I felt like it, but didnā€™t share my feelings. I put my thinking cap on and went to work.

Finding New Ways to Connect

There were times I let them know I was going to FaceTime them all at the same time. It worked once or twice, but the randomness of my invitations didnā€™t work out very well. They were all getting set in their structure of work, play and friends, none of it coinciding with each other. This wasnā€™t getting me very far.

The next plan I came up with was to FaceTime them individually. That worked pretty well for me, but I frequently received a text saying it wasn’t convenient for them. Donā€™t get me wrong, I never felt like they were trying to avoid me, but I still wanted to get my way. I didnā€™t want to pout, although I may have privately.

My next plan was to ask the three granddaughters who live in Kansas City what day they have in common that is free. We found one! It was a Saturday night earlier this month. Yippee. John and I packed our bags and we took the three granddaughters out to eat. Two and a half hours of pure joy for both my husband and me. Making trips to KC isnā€™t something we can do on the fly, but it was a resolution that worked.

Our grandson Iā€™m able to see more frequently. However, that also comes with its challenges. Heā€™s worked full time while going to UNL so his time is limited. Next fall, heā€™s adding an internship in Omaha. Good for him.

Letting Go & Passing the Torch

Iā€™m now realizing there was a time when I got my way, but I need to pass the torch to them on their own timeline. Whether itā€™s one at a time, or all four, Iā€™ll continue to work on making it happen!

Nancy Becker

Nancy Becker

Grandkids & Grandparents

IĀ have four grandchildren ages 14-17. In some ways, Iā€™m a very typical grandma, always proud of everything the kids do and wanting to help support them in whatever way I can.Ā In other ways, Iā€™m not very typical. My goal as a blogger is to share my thoughts and experiences that I think are funny and meaningful as I adventure through grandmahood.

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Granddaughter Runs Away With It

Granddaughter Runs Away With It

by | Jun 3, 2024 | Grandparents

It was December of 2023 when I first heard my granddaughter had signed up to run the 2024 half marathon in Lincoln. I was thrilled to hear her news. I knew she liked to run a bit, but never imagined she had set a goal to run the half marathon.

Supporting Her Training

I immediately asked her about her training, her goals and her expectations. It was obvious she had thought everything through and was ready to begin her training. I wondered how I could help and what I could do to encourage her through this process. She appreciated my enthusiasm, but also probably appreciated the fact that we no longer lived in the same town so I wouldnā€™t hover over her during practice runs.

My Own Running Journey

I fondly recall the year following my retirement from Lincoln Public Schools, when my daughter told me she had signed me up to run the half marathon. I was a 5K runner, but I had never thought about running anything longer. I wasnā€™t exactly sure I wanted to run that far. Just having retired from being a high school principal, I really didnā€™t know if I wanted to invest that much time and energy on a new goal. Staying at home, going on walks and taking an occasional nap sounded pretty darn good.

Once I reminded myself I couldnā€™t just shut off my life, I agreed to take on the challenge. I found a training regimen to follow and began my new life as a pretend athlete. Yes, pretend athlete. I had never been involved in any type of sport throughout my entire life. This new goal was going to test me.

Her Secret Advantage to Success

My granddaughter was going to have a much easier time than I did in prepping for the run because she had participated in sports at the high school and college level. Whether it was volleyball, tennis or rowing, she knew how to set training goals, monitor them and achieve them. I was not going to be much help to her with that. What I could help with was checking in on her at least once a week for a report on her progress, which I did. Her response was always so positive. It was obvious to me she was going to be successful.

Race Day Preparations

Nancy's granddaughter posing in front of indoor track with hydration backpack before the Lincoln half marathon

May quickly approached, but my granddaughter knew she was ready. She was still nervous, but prepared and eager. She didnā€™t come to Lincoln as soon as I had thought she would because of her allergies. Again, she was on top of things! She arrived in town on Saturday. My husband and I drove her along the route to show her the places that might be more difficult for her, like the inclines and narrow spaces going from streets to the bike path. I especially wanted her to see the starting line.

Finishing the 2024 Lincoln Half Marathon

Sunday came and she was off and running. We had told her where we would be to see her and cheer her on. We followed her on her full journey. She was a machine, keeping up with her goal times and having a very successful finish.

Nancy's granddaughter at the finish line of the Lincoln half marathon with medal around her neck
When we caught up with her at the finish line, she looked amazing, calm and proud. Other than her toe nails hurting a bit, she was in great shape. What a powerful and determined young woman, who Iā€™m proud to call my granddaughter! Iā€™d love to run with her, but Iā€™d need a scooter to keep up with her!
Nancy Becker

Nancy Becker

Grandkids & Grandparents

I have four grandchildren ages 14-17. In some ways, Iā€™m a very typical grandma, always proud of everything the kids do and wanting to help support them in whatever way I can. In other ways, Iā€™m not very typical. My goal as a blogger is to share my thoughts and experiences that I think are funny and meaningful as I adventure through grandmahood.

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Being Phased Out of Everyday Updates From My Grandkids

Being Phased Out of Everyday Updates From My Grandkids

by | Apr 1, 2024 | Grandparents

One of the things I miss about having three of our four grandkids in Kansas City is knowing what they’re doing and what they’re thinking. I donā€™t expect to be informed about everything or even know what they had for lunch. I donā€™t even remember what I had for lunch! But now, I usually just hear about the big events in their lives, and it’s often given to me after the fact through their moms.

Missing the Little Things

When they lived in Lincoln and I heard about an event a little late, I could always squeeze in a trip to cheer them on or run over to their homes to give them a hug.

But then I started thinking, “Was this grandma pouting? Was this grandma being a spoiled brat?” I stopped and realized I wasnā€™t their mom. Iā€™m not the most important person in their life. My grandkids were sharing things with their moms and that is whatā€™s important and how it should be.

Keeping the Lines Open

This got me thinking, “How did I keep my grandmothers in the loop? How good was I at keeping open the lines of communication?” I realized I didnā€™t communicate every day with my grandmothers. I didnā€™t avoid talking to them; I just thought I was too busy with my activities, and I always knew my mother would keep them informed. At least I assumed she would.

As I reflected on my granddaughterā€™s early years, I realized that my grandkids kept me up-to-date more than I ever did with my own grandmas. Yes, the shame began to creep in!

Communication Then vs. Now

Communicating is also very different today than back in the good ole days. Today, I may text my grandkids to share news or whatā€™s going on in my life. They donā€™t always respond, but they usually reply with a heart or a thumbs up.

There was no social media when I was growing up. The only thing that came close to social media was having the one family phone on a party line with your neighbors. You could hear what your neighbors were talking about, but you really couldnā€™t listen for long because the neighbors could hear the clicks of someone picking up or hanging up the phone. Social media back in my day was talking to friends face-to-face.

Remembering My Grandmothers

Recently, I find myself thinking about my grandparents a lot. Last year for Christmas, my daughter got me a Storyworth book. Each week we were assigned to respond to a specific question. At the end of the year, the stories were printed and bound together. The title of the book is called, ā€œNancy Becker, A Collection of Life Stories.ā€

This gift was a wonderful reminder of how I need to remember my grandparents. Several of the assignments were prompts like “How did your grandparents earn money?” or “Do you have any particularly vivid memories of your grandparents?”

Iā€™ve also thought a great deal about my grandmas as I look around our house. I have a bureau, a pool table, a pie pantry and other pieces of furniture which I love and dust every week. I wonder what Iā€™ll do with these pieces that my grandkids don’t want. Iā€™m not going to worry about itā€”thatā€™s for sure!

Solid cedar wood antique bureau styled in an entryway

As we grow older, role reversals can be difficult. Iā€™ve learned to roll with the punches and embrace the change and keep in my lane.

Nancy Becker

Nancy Becker

Grandkids & Grandparents

IĀ have four grandchildren ages 14-17. In some ways, Iā€™m a very typical grandma, always proud of everything the kids do and wanting to help support them in whatever way I can.Ā In other ways, Iā€™m not very typical. My goal as a blogger is to share my thoughts and experiences that I think are funny and meaningful as I adventure through grandmahood.

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Why My Granddaughter Is on the Cover of Vogue

Why My Granddaughter Is on the Cover of Vogue

by | Mar 5, 2024 | Grandparents

Just when I felt my oldest grandchild found her niche, she decides to move it up a notch.

A New Generation’s Work Model

I was always under the belief that you worked one job and you stayed there. Yes, youā€™d adjust what role you may have in the school or company, but thatā€™s what both my husband and I have done our entire lives. I worked with Lincoln Public Schools in various buildings and positions. John worked with the Lincoln Police Department in various leadership positions. Thatā€™s what people in our generation usually did. Weā€™d learn, grow, take on a new position and repeat for our entire working life. I heard things were changing with this new generation, but I never thought it would apply to my family.

Finding Her Passion

Our oldest granddaughter went to KU while rowing and competing her way to athletic success. Her success only continued after graduation. She loved competition and winning. When she graduated, she worked for a huge soccer team, which now has select teams in Lincoln. She was in communications for the team – creating ads, sponsorships and press releases. She loved the energy that came with the job!

She found herself leaving the team and working as a wedding planner for a relatively small business in Kansas City, though. Not quite sure how or why she made the transition, but she did. And she succeeded there. She was in love with the job, which included many of the same communication requirements as the soccer team. She enjoyed helping couples celebrate.

Taking the Leap From Employee to Entrepreneur

Our granddaughter called last month and said she was going to make another change. I couldnā€™t imagine what her next job might be. Mortician? Running for political office? No, she was opening her own wedding and event planning business. For some reason, I was shocked, thrilled and a tad worried. As I recall my own mid 20s, I was not confident enough for this type of a challenge.

She put me at ease as she continued to explain. She talked to a financial advisor, and he agreed that she was financially able to pull it off. She talked to a lawyer, and she assisted with setting up the business. And there were three friends who wanted to join her in the new adventure. She came up with a business logo, so she was ready to run with the wind.

A Bright Future With Unexpected Recognition

Fast forward to last week when we get another call from our granddaughter. She told us that she was completing her businessā€™s website and would post it soon. The other big news was that she and one of the event center managers were going to be featured in the next UK Vogue Magazine.

She made a connection with several event sites. One of those individuals was going to be featured in the UK Vogue Magazine, and she wanted our granddaughter to join her for the interview. She was so excited because the magazine would be coming out next week.

I was speechless, which rarely happens to me. Iā€™m still trying to figure out how our granddaughter, this young woman who rowed for KU, is now going to be featured in the UK Vogue Magazine. I also wondered whatā€™s next for her. Maybe this generation changing jobs is not as bad as I once believed. My generation needs to be supportive and hang on for the ride!

Nancy Becker

Nancy Becker

Grandkids & Grandparents

IĀ have four grandchildren ages 14-17. In some ways, Iā€™m a very typical grandma, always proud of everything the kids do and wanting to help support them in whatever way I can.Ā In other ways, Iā€™m not very typical. My goal as a blogger is to share my thoughts and experiences that I think are funny and meaningful as I adventure through grandmahood.

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What to Do When Children Don’t Want Your Heirlooms

What to Do When Children Don’t Want Your Heirlooms

by | Nov 6, 2023 | Grandparents

John and I are tired of taking care of the yard, trimming, planting, spraying for weeds and yes, even killing garter snakes. Itā€™s not that we donā€™t want to do it, but it seems to be taking us more and more time to accomplish our tasks. We take care of all the cleaning, cooking, hosting holidays for 25+ people, while continuing to be social with friends, book clubs, church events and volunteering in the community.

Our Downsizing Dilemma

Weā€™re not ready to downsize, but many of our friends have already done so. They love it and keep urging us to do the same. The thought of moving is a bit overwhelming. What would we need to get rid of? Do we want to go through two large store rooms and determine what to keep and what to toss? Or would our children and grandchildren want to take some of the treasures that we received from our grandparents?

It wasnā€™t long ago when we were all together and I asked everyone to let me know if there were any items that they wanted. My request went over like a lead balloon. One daughter asked for my grandmother’s bureau, and one of our grandkids asked for an antique pie pantry. That was it. No one was interested in old photo albums, my grandfatherā€™s WWI pictures and helmet, a 1948 antique car and a 1910 pool table or 160 acres of CRP land. These were important to us, why not them?

Rehoming Family Valuables

Iā€™m not trying to brag and say we have more possessions than other grandparents. In fact, other grandparents probably have many more valuable heirlooms. What I am saying is, “What do we do now?” I could have a sale or donate our possessions to refugees or the local Habitat store. Maybe if Antique Roadshow came to Lincoln I could take something in to show. But somehow, I wish some of our things could stay in the family. Our daughters have full houses with no room for more ā€œstuff”. Our grandchildren are still in apartments and have no idea when or if they will make a move to another location or own a home.

Finding Meaning in Letting Go

We still use our good china, but only three times a year. The china seems to be replaced by take-out boxes. As we all age, this will be a growing issue for us baby boomers. Why would we think our children and grandchildren would somehow see the value in things that, in their minds, have no meaning?

Donā€™t get me wrong, Iā€™m not upset about some of these things. I realize there are major costs to maintaining some of these family items, especially with the antique car and acres of land. Iā€™m only trying to think of what my next move will be. Perhaps, I need to make a goal for myself to sell or give things away when Iā€™m not under pressure to do so. Whatā€™s ours may not be theirs, but they will be someoneā€™s. I hope to find satisfaction with that!

Nancy Becker

Nancy Becker

Grandkids & Grandparents

IĀ have four grandchildren ages 14-17. In some ways, Iā€™m a very typical grandma, always proud of everything the kids do and wanting to help support them in whatever way I can.Ā In other ways, Iā€™m not very typical. My goal as a blogger is to share my thoughts and experiences that I think are funny and meaningful as I adventure through grandmahood.

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My Coach of the Year

My Coach of the Year

by | Oct 2, 2023 | Grandparents

My granddaughter played volleyball at Lincoln Southeast High School and University of Missouri – Kansas City (UMKC), where she received her bachelor’s degree. My husband and I attended her games as often as we could and loved every minute of it. As her grandparents, we always considered her a star, so it was wonderful when she was able to continue her athletic ability in college. And of course, she was a star at UMKC as well. She still holds the record for number of career digs as a libero.

My Granddaughter’s Volleyball Journey

While at UMKC, she received many honors and had a wonderful time. Since she played during COVID-19, she was granted an additional scholarship year. Her fifth year was her participating at Butler University in Indianapolis on scholarship, while working on and receiving her master’s degree. At the end of her master’s year, she applied for several jobs, one of which was to be an assistant coach at her alma mater, UMKC. It was a surprise to her and all of us that she was hired as an assistant coach at UMKC. She was going home. OK, not back to Lincoln, NE, but closer than being in Indianapolis.

The Start of the Season

Her 2023 season started with away tournaments in Florida, Ohio, Michigan and Missouri. UMKC ended their preseason tournaments at home in Kansas City. It was wonderful because now we were able to attend her games more frequently.

Watching Her as a Coach for the First Time

I wasnā€™t quite sure how it would be watching her as a coach, compared to watching her as a player. Watching her as a player, I was nervous and worried about each and every one of her plays. As a player, if she missed a dig, UGH! If she was successful in her play, I screamed and was thrilled and proud. Sometimes, Iā€™d even pace, walking back and forth in an open row of seats. Now, watching her coach, how would I feel?

A Proud Grandparent’s Perspective

We anxiously watched our granddaughter run the team through their pre-game drills. She looked great and hit balls hard for the team members to return. She challenged them with difficult drills and gave them great tips.

Once the game started, I watched her with interest and found I was not disappointed. She handled herself with professionalism, as a great coach would. I loved seeing some of the girls sit by her after they rotated out of the game. They were seeking her advice. She always responded with nods and motions to indicate where they needed to be on the floor. She was doing a great job!

Reviewing Post-Match Performance

Later, I realized I spent more time watching my granddaughter as she sat on the bench taking notes and yelling out coaching tips than I did watching the game. Every time my eyes shifted to the court, my heart stayed with her, as it always will be. As a bonus, they won the match!

After their win, I asked her what she thought could be improved. The worst thing she felt happen was the post-game food order. It had been delivered to the wrong door, but she spent a few minutes making phone calls to track the food down. Only 10 minutes later, the team had their dinner. Maybe thatā€™s another skill sheā€™ll need to work onā€”patience.

Nancy Becker

Nancy Becker

Grandkids & Grandparents

IĀ have four grandchildren ages 14-17. In some ways, Iā€™m a very typical grandma, always proud of everything the kids do and wanting to help support them in whatever way I can.Ā In other ways, Iā€™m not very typical. My goal as a blogger is to share my thoughts and experiences that I think are funny and meaningful as I adventure through grandmahood.

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Building Houses in Guatemala Didn’t Go As Planned

Building Houses in Guatemala Didn’t Go As Planned

by | Sep 6, 2023 | Grandparents

Last holiday season, I wrote about donating to build a family home in Guatemala. As a recap, I wanted my grandkids to join me and help me build a house for a family in need. I thought this would give my grandchildren a chance to travel together and work on a common goal.

Our Church’s Involvement with ConstruCASA

My church, the First-Plymouth Congregational Church in Lincoln, and the First Congregational United Church of Christ in Crete have built homes and the Xeptetan City Library in Guatemala for years. Both churches partner with ConstruCASA, an international organization that coordinates everything from our housing to finding the right families to receive a new home.

Being the eternal optimist, I figured everything was going to work out perfectly. Weā€™d all quickly find a time for our mission work, which would coordinate with our churchā€™s trips and set up our travel arrangements to Guatemala. Soon, everything would fall into place.

Timing Challenges & Adjustments

I learned our church’s next planned mission trip to Guatemala might be January or February and thought this timing would work great. But then, the plans changed. ConstruCASA’s next build date was in June. Our church’s youth group would be building six homes in Guatemala at this time, tooā€”and one of them was the house we had donated money to build. I knew all of the church kids would love the experience, and I was very excited for them.

Sadly, I knew the June timeframe would not work for us. After two deep breaths and regaining my senses, I realized I had no control and needed to move on. I told the grandkids. They were disappointed they couldn’t participate due to their university classes and jobs.

Taking a New Direction to Support the Cause

So, we did the next best thing, which was to make cards and gift boxes for our family in need. It was the least we could do to show them how much we cared and supported them moving into their new home.

The Final Results

Guatemalan boy with bicycle standing outside newly constructed home

In August, ConstruCASA announced that 39 youth volunteered on the June builds and shared photos of the locals helping out and the families with their new homes.

I shared this information with my grandkids. Although they still wished they could have participated in the building of ā€œourā€ house, they were thrilled to have a visual of the family and their new house. I told my grandkids, “There’s more work to be done, so we might be able to try again another year.”

We all agreed that not being in Guatemala to build our home was hard, but knowing we were helping others certainly felt great for all of us!

Nancy Becker

Nancy Becker

Grandkids & Grandparents

IĀ have four grandchildren ages 14-17. In some ways, Iā€™m a very typical grandma, always proud of everything the kids do and wanting to help support them in whatever way I can.Ā In other ways, Iā€™m not very typical. My goal as a blogger is to share my thoughts and experiences that I think are funny and meaningful as I adventure through grandmahood.

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Why I Worry About My Granddaughters Living Together

Why I Worry About My Granddaughters Living Together

by | Aug 7, 2023 | Grandparents

All three of our granddaughters are in Kansas City living together. Iā€™m not worried about how it will work out, but I wonder if they do. Okay, maybe I’m a little worried.

Unforgettable Camping Mishaps & Playful Adventures

When they were young, all four grandkids stayed over night at our house, sometimes two to three times a week. It was great. They built forts, dressed up in costumes, put on plays and even slept outside in a tent. They played pool, did acrobatics in the basement and put holes in the walls when their somersaults and other antics went sideways. Most of all, they enjoyed each others company.

They always shared with each other and never fought who they slept with. They were resourceful. Yet I always felt this pressure to make sure they were entertained, having fun, laughing and learning. It was rarely hard.

Except when John and I took them camping near Mt. Rushmore. One of the grandkids got diarrhea in the middle of the night. That experience was not so much fun for either my grandchild or me, but of course John and the others slept through the whole thing.

Reuniting Under One Roof

Fifteen years later, the granddaughters are back together in an apartment sharing rent and other resources. I wonder what changes they will face.

Exploring the Challenges Ahead

John and I visited them last week in KC and everything was perfect. Their apartment is on the ninth floor of a downtown apartment building in Kansas City, Missouri, across the street from the main library. The view is amazing. The area feels safe and is very clean.

The girls have figured out how to pay for the rent and utilities. Maybe thatā€™s a no-brainer for them, but it will be interesting to see how they figure everything else out. Because now if someone puts a hole in the wall, they need to pay for it or fix it themselves. Grandpa wonā€™t be there to do the work for them. If they get diarrhea or wet the bed? They need to change it themselves.

And what about resolving issues that may arise? Two girls sleep in separate bedrooms and the third sleeps on a mattress on the living room floor, so what happens when they come home late and wake up my granddaughter in the common space?

I fear they’ll get upset with one another, speak negatively and never recover. I only want my girls to remain close through this temporary joint living arrangement.

A Grandmother’s Wish for Everlasting Connection

None of them have asked for my advice, and I doubt they will ever complain to me about the others. Iā€™ve never been in control of my grandkids and never will be, so I can only hope they keep and grow their bond during this time and see how they can continue to maintain their relationships with each other for years to come. And more importantly, keep connected to me!

Nancy Becker

Nancy Becker

Grandkids & Grandparents

IĀ have four grandchildren ages 14-17. In some ways, Iā€™m a very typical grandma, always proud of everything the kids do and wanting to help support them in whatever way I can.Ā In other ways, Iā€™m not very typical. My goal as a blogger is to share my thoughts and experiences that I think are funny and meaningful as I adventure through grandmahood.

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Stepping In to Make a Wedding Perfect

Stepping In to Make a Wedding Perfect

by | Mar 6, 2023 | Grandparents

When I was principal at Lincoln Northstar High School, I was blessed to have so many refugee and immigrant students. I loved hearing their stories and helping their families navigate the United States. But one studentā€”a 15-year-old born in Togo, Africaā€”became my life-long friend.

Finding His North Star

His name is Vincent. Vincent was intelligent, bilingual in English and French, social and successful in several clubs at Northstar. Vincentā€™s mother was a single parent to three boys. They didn’t have extended family in Lincoln, but they did well. Over the years, I watched Vincent grow in his career and personal relationships. He met a wonderful young woman, Elizabeth, and introduced her to me at Thanksgiving dinner.

Love in the Time of COVID-19

Then, during the height of the pandemic, Vincent and Elizabeth called me. They wanted to meet with me. When they arrived, Vincent announced they were getting married. Since neither of them were religious, they wondered if I would officiate their wedding. I quickly said yes.

Planning a Pandemic Wedding

They werenā€™t having their wedding until 2022, which gave me plenty of time to get ordained. I contacted a friend who knew how to get an officiant certificate online. She talked me through the process. Done.

Later, I had to plan the ceremony. Throughout the process, I asked for their input, posed questions to the couple and continued my research. Little by little, everything came together. Thatā€™s when I started to get nervous. What if their big day wasn’t perfect? Not a day went by without me thinking of how I could make things better for them.

Up until the rehearsal, I had kept quiet and did what I was told. But that night while everyone scrambled, my principal voice came out. I directed staff that hadn’t worked a wedding before. I reorganized the processional and recessional when the mothers of the couple couldn’t see as they sat on the outside of their rows. Vincent and Elizabeth gave me a thumbs up.

Becoming a Substitute Grandma

The next day, the wedding went off without a hitch. The food and venue were perfect, and the couple looked radiantā€”their love for each other on full display. I still felt guilty about butting in, but I reminded myself thatā€™s what grandmas do, even substitute grandmas. They work hard to make things perfect, stepping in when something is off. And while Iā€™m not ready to officiate at another wedding, I know I can be a substitute grandma any time Iā€™m needed.

Nancy Becker

Nancy Becker

Grandkids & Grandparents

IĀ have four grandchildren ages 14-17. In some ways, Iā€™m a very typical grandma, always proud of everything the kids do and wanting to help support them in whatever way I can.Ā In other ways, Iā€™m not very typical. My goal as a blogger is to share my thoughts and experiences that I think are funny and meaningful as I adventure through grandmahood.

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The Art of Digging

The Art of Digging

by | Dec 12, 2022 | Grandparents

Our granddaughter has been playing volleyball since she was five years old, and I hate to say itā€™s coming to an end.

On the Leaderboard

When she was in elementary school, she was short but made up for her lack of height with her hustle. Itā€™s almost as if she was born to play. She followed all the rules, understood the game, and moved around the court with ease and grace. In middle school, she continued to learn the ins and outs of the game and improved her skills. While in high school, she started as a libero for three years, improving majorly every year. Her name is still on the leaderboard at Southeast High School for her number of digs!

Small But Mighty

Following her success in high school, she was accepted to play in college at the University of Missouri Kansas City. Even though she was only a five-foot-two libero, she excelled as a Kangaroo. While playing at UMKC, she garnered awards and multiple recognitions for her digsā€”including the conference libero of the year.

After graduating from UMKC, she had a COVID-19 year, so she decided to travel to another state. Butler University in Indianapolis made her an offer, so she spent her year as a Bulldog nine hours from Lincoln. We make the trip to Indiana as often as we can. She is still known for digging the volleyball off the court floor and getting it into position for her team members. But even now, I’m still waiting on her growth spurt.

The Final Home Game

Last week, we went to Butler to see her play in her final home game. It was an honor to be there. For “Senior Night” at one of the matches, she told me to watch the big screen during the introductions. I waited with great anticipation but had no clue what she was talking about. Finally, my granddaughter came on the screen and recognized me as one of her female mentors who inspires her every day. I teared up.

After the game, I asked her why she recognized me and not her mom. She said everyone else was recognizing their mothers, and she wanted to do something different. I wasnā€™t sure whether it was a compliment, but I took it as one.

Can You Dig It?

A phrase used by my generation that once meant “Do you understand it?” takes on a whole new meaning. My granddaughter can certainly dig it. Her ability and tenacity on and off the court are about ready to be unleashed on the world. She’ll teach the world to dig it!

Nancy Becker

Nancy Becker

Grandkids & Grandparents

IĀ have four grandchildren ages 14-17. In some ways, Iā€™m a very typical grandma, always proud of everything the kids do and wanting to help support them in whatever way I can.Ā In other ways, Iā€™m not very typical. My goal as a blogger is to share my thoughts and experiences that I think are funny and meaningful as I adventure through grandmahood.

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Working Girl: An Unexpected Creative Journey

Working Girl: An Unexpected Creative Journey

by | Nov 14, 2022 | Grandparents

We have an amazing granddaughter. Of course, all four grandkids are amazing, but our third grandchild has really surprised us. Growing up, she loved teasing everyone and popping up in unexpected places. She always made me smile and laugh with her antics and weird faces. Today, she continues to amaze us.

What Will She Do Forever?

In high school, she loved playing tennis. If she had a tough match, she could laugh it off and go on her way. Academically, she was a very good student and even graduated from high school a semester earlier than the rest of her class. I always wondered what kind of career she would end up following.

After college, I still wondered what she would do for the rest of her life. As I write down these words, I’m reminded that Generation-X kids have five to eight jobs during their lives. I now realize my comment is so grandma-ishā€”or maybe “ancient” is a better word! Either way, I always thought she’d follow one career forever.

Starting Her Professional Journey

Already, she has worked several jobs. What amazes me is how each of these jobs shows me how creative she is. Her personality and skills are shaping her life. She worked in the Made in KC store, where she learned how to create designs for shirts, cups, bags, and more. There, she came up with ideas that thrilled the people in the store.

Ā Then, she took the skills from that job and started selling her own creations on Etsy. (She had to inform me what Etsy was because, yes, Iā€™m the grandma!) She and a friend also rented a booth at Junk Stock in Nebraska to sell her products. Her smiley face bags, earrings, and car deodorizers were a hit! She was making really good money, and I was in awe of her.

Harnessing Her Creativity

She expanded her creativity into designing and decorating cookies. I was surprised. In high school, she never took art classes, cooking classes, or any type of creative courses. One day, I decided to ask her, “Were you always this creative?”

She laughed but admitted she didnā€™t think about it in high school. I know it was always there, though. Her mind was probably moving all the time, and she didnā€™t know how to harness it until now. Did I just say harness? There’s no harnessing this girl.

No More Old-School Thinking

My granddaughterā€™s creative juices will provide several opportunities for different careers. I have learned her main strength is looking at an entire picture in a unique way and never looking back. She has taught me a great deal by watching her grow and blossom. I know I canā€™t duplicate her skills, but I can support her and not count the number of jobs she has as some measure of success or progress. Thatā€™s so old school!

Nancy Becker

Nancy Becker

Grandkids & Grandparents

IĀ have four grandchildren ages 14-17. In some ways, Iā€™m a very typical grandma, always proud of everything the kids do and wanting to help support them in whatever way I can.Ā In other ways, Iā€™m not very typical. My goal as a blogger is to share my thoughts and experiences that I think are funny and meaningful as I adventure through grandmahood.

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