My daughter-in-law was sorting through cards and letters that their family had received over the past five years and sent me a picture of a card she thought I might enjoy. Upon receiving, my first thought was, “Wow, cheers to Emily! She’s tackling this after five years. I’m still putting it off after 35 years!” Time marches on and thank goodness storage tubs can be purchased in exceptionally large sizes and quantities!
A Letter to my Granddaughter, Sophia
After reading these words, I took a moment to recall what my thoughts and expectations of being a grandparent had been like from the day Winston and Emily announced they were expecting, to what they are today. I remember thinking at first that I would be the grandma that created special traditions with her grandchild…traditions that would carry over from generation to generation. We would spend time baking homemade pies and cookies, sewing doll outfits, making scrapbooks of each adventure we embarked upon, etc. Now, five years later, I have closed the chapter on the book, “Everything You Need to Know and Do to Be an Excellent Grandma” and am winging it on my own!
Embracing Spontaneity
Today, I would describe my style of grandparenting with three words…simple, spontaneous and surprising. I have tried to plan projects ahead, purchasing ingredients or supplies and organizing step by step. But time and again, I have come to realize I have not been gifted with homemaking skills. What I can do is open the pantry door, grab some things off the shelf and create quite a tasty treat with my little baking buddy by my side. We have been known to butter saltines, sprinkle with sparkles and serve them on our best crystal platter. All the while savoring every bite. Even Papa smiles as he struggles to swallow this gourmet offering!
Car games are our specialty. We’ve talked about the seasons and the changing colors of the leaves. We’ve searched for “I Spy” items that are red, green, blue or yellow. The other day, she suggested we play the name game. Not knowing this game, I asked her what it was. She explained that she would start by giving us each a flower name. Then it would be my turn to give us each a farm animal name. This was followed by sea animal and dog names. By the end of our trip, Sophia’s name was Peony Cow Dolphin Poodle. I was bestowed with the name Rose Chicken Shark Beagle. Not only did we play a fun game, we made a memory. When we visit on the phone now, it’s nice to end our call with that memory, “Goodnight, Peony”.
Keeping it Simple and Enjoying the Surprises
I have learned if I keep it simple and spontaneous the stress and pressure to produce the perfect experience disappears. There is no expectation. But there is surprise, and who doesn’t love a surprise.
Last summer, we were vacationing in the Black Hills. One afternoon as we were walking on a path, Sophia asked if Uncle Beau and I would like to skip down the trail with her. Absolutely! It turned out, Uncle Beau and I had forgotten how to skip and the harder we tried, the sillier we looked. Sophia couldn’t stop laughing. Those three words whispered in my mind…simple, spontaneous and surprising. There’s nothing better than to hear a child laugh – gleefully. And the definition of gleefully? Great happiness or delight expressed openly.
She’ll be celebrating a birthday soon. The big six. I know saltines and sprinkles will not continue cutting it. But I trust that by genuinely loving her, and taking the time to know her and listen to her, we will always find something simple, spontaneous and surprising to bond over and create memories.
Ellen Beans
I’m originally from Arlington, NE. My husband, Pat, is from Cozad, NE. After spending the past 45 years in Lincoln, we are proud to call it our home.
I served as a Director at Bryan Health for 40 years. Pat served as the Chief Financial Officer for NRC Health for many years. He now serves as the Manager for Amandla, LLC.
We have two sons, Winston and Beau. Winston is married to Emily, and they have a daughter, Sophia, 5 years old. Beau is engaged to Kelcie, and we are anxiously awaiting a wedding date!
As the author of the Grandparent blog, I’ll be writing about the challenges and rewards of retirement. I’ll focus on the roles I have taken on in life … spouse, parent, In-law, grandparent, colleague and friend, and how they have changed over the years. This is the plan for the blog, but as we all know, plans can change!
