How Strict Is Too Strict?

How Strict Is Too Strict?

by | Last updated May 8, 2023 | K-12

You’re either strict or you’re not, with very little consideration for the large grey area in between. If you could place these two descriptions on a parenting scale, you might see “strict” at the same end as authoritarian and “non-strict” at the same end as permissive.

Transitioning From a Strict Parenting Style

I am a strict parent, but there are several reasons why I decided to re-evaluate my parenting style. Every parent wants the best for their child, and it’s this desire to keep kids safe and healthy that fuels my rule-setting and need for control. But changing the parenting style that my family was already adjusted to was not an easy task. It’s mentally and emotionally exhausting for both parents and children as we navigate the transition.

Why My Parenting Style Needed to Change

I realized that I needed to lighten up my parenting style when “the good child,” Cohen asked for something and I immediately said no. He has never done anything to make me question his intent or actions. But I work in the media and think the worst of every possible situation. So, when he asked me if he could walk to Scheels after school with his friends, there was no discussion. It was a flat, hard no. Later, I started wondering if I was being unreasonable, too strict. He is 12 years old, and my gut said, “No, that’s way too young to walk.” There are a lot of reasons why I shouldn’t have let him go, but at what age do I give a little and stop being the strict parent?

Our Conversation with the “Good Cop”

Before my immediate no, I should have asked questions and allowed him to justify why he should go, but he asked me over the phone while I was at work, so I was short with him. I ended the conversation with, “We will discuss this at home with dad.” It wasn’t his favorite response, but usually dad is more lenient and open to his ideas.

When we arrived home, we talked. Dad was, of course, okay with the idea, but I still had some reservations. I hated the idea of him walking across a busy street to get to the store. I had never met these friends from school he was going with, and none of this sounded like a good idea. But dad thought we needed to trust him.

The Importance of Unified Parenting

It’s not uncommon for mothers and fathers to be on opposite sides of the “firmness fence,” each convinced that the other is doing it wrong or one person needs to give in. This leads to inconsistencies, mixed messages about rules and the undermining of each other’s authority. This can breed dishonesty, deceit and manipulation within children. Therefore, it is particularly important that we as parents are united in our approach to these issues and compromise.

So, with stipulations, we agreed to let him go. He needed to put his phone away while walking. He had to pay attention to cars and traffic. He had to FaceTime me when he arrived at Scheels. And lastly, he needed to be respectful to the employees and other customers in the store. I was still a nervous wreck the entire time I knew he was not at home or with an adult, but we agreed to allow him this independence.

Striving for Best Parenting Practices

The discussion and compromise showed follow-through and consistency, which are vital for heathy parenting. I was proud of the way Mitch and I handled the situation. We didn’t undermine each other. We listened and came together on a united front. This allowed me to be a little less strict. Until Cohen violates our trust, we will continue being negotiable with certain things. I feel like these are some of the elements of best parenting practices.

It’s important to remember that just because you are the stricter parent, it doesn’t mean that you’re a bad one. Strict parents create rules and boundaries to protect their children in a way that they believe will help guide them to success. If you’re looking to make changes to your parenting style or parent-child relationship, adopting some elements of easygoing parenting can be helpful. Creating an environment that balances both love and support and boundaries is very beneficial to our entire family.

Mallory Connelly

Mallory Connelly

Babies & Toddlers

In addition to the time I devote to being a mom, I also work full-time outside the home, which means my day is hardly ever as simple as nine to five. With an all-too-established schedule, as soon as I walk through the door, my day doesn’t end, but rather just begins. It’s a balancing act, especially with two children, but being a mom is one full-time job that I never want to quit!

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How Our Family Makes Time For Each Other

How Our Family Makes Time For Each Other

by | Last updated Apr 24, 2023 | K-12

It looked like a family reunion, but it was a funeral visitation. I arrived ready to share my condolences with my cousin, expecting an evening of somberness and shared stories. However, my expectations quickly changed. As I wrapped my widowed cousin in a hug, she quietly reminded me, “Tonight is a gathering of love, family and celebration.”

The Healing Power of Family

For the next hour, I shared hugs and visited with my aunts, uncles and cousins—some I have not seen in over five years. The catching up and many stories were a constant reminder of how much love was in that one room amongst my dad’s family. Yet my eyes and heart kept wandering over to my cousin. She was eloquently sharing words of joy, healing and love to all who came to give her condolences. I stood there in awe while soaking up the family conversations.

Strategies for Protecting Family Time

As our conversations winded down and we all went our separate ways, I spent my drive home thinking about the main theme of conversations: creating family and extended family memories.

How often do we truly look for those unscripted moments of sheer joy with our families? How do we go about looking for these moments when life seems to be all about appointments, meetings, sports/activities schedules and our careers?

Below are four simple yet broad strategies for choosing how our family protects our time:

  1. We understand the limitations of our children. Both our junior high son and high school daughter become quite overwhelmed when there are too many “to dos” or practices on their schedules. They both find solace in being at home. Saying “No” and staying home is the ultimate self-care for them.
  2. We set aside one entire week of the summer where we commit to nothing. It’s called our “No Commitment Week, Just Family.”
  3. We teach/encourage our kids not to feel guilty about protecting their mental, physical and emotional health. This is hard as our kids are people pleasers and do not like to disappoint others.
  4. We keep an open mind about “dropping all commitments” and just “going.”

Protecting our family boundaries is not always easy and communicating these boundaries with coaches is not always positive. But with the limited amount of time we have with our kids in our home, these boundaries are becoming more and more important and needed.

Shelly Mowinkel

Shelly Mowinkel

K-12 & Teens

My husband and I have three kids. Our oldest is a freshman in high school, and our youngest is in second grade. Most days, I feel like we are a “tag-team chauffeuring” service, yet I wouldn’t have our life any other way. Not only I am a business/technology teacher at Milford, I am also the district technology integration specialist. I love teaching because I get the opportunity to make those around me better. My hope is that, through my blogging, I am able to inspire, encourage, and share with you my adventures of being a wife, mother, and professional.

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Kid-Friendly Conversations About Gun Violence

Kid-Friendly Conversations About Gun Violence

by | Last updated Apr 10, 2023 | K-12

Every child deserves to go to school in a safe, warm and loving environment that fosters learning. Every staff member deserves to go to work and not fear for their lives. The images are heart-wrenching, the loss of life incomprehensible. Talking to your children about what they’ve seen or heard may not be easy, but it’s necessary.

Safety Plans for Emergencies at School

Most schools have lockdown drills and lockout drills. Children are practicing for this very reason. Guns in schools should never happen, but it’s becoming more and more of a reality. I have two kids, a 9-year-old and almost 12-year-old. These shootings hit home even in Nebraska. I can’t leave them to figure this out alone. I want to be right there with them having tough conversations about complicated feelings and possible questions.

How to Ask Children About Current Events

It’s common for parents to be nervous for conversations about tragedy. I started by asking an open-ended question, like “How do you feel about this?” or “What questions do you have about that event?”

My son just asked, “Why would anyone kill a child?” I used simple words to explain that some people are cruel but most of the time those people are confused or having mental health issues. Then I sat back and just listened to my children.

I noticed what they were not saying, too. I read their nonverbal body language. My daughter was fidgety and tearful. I just wanted to snuggle her up, love both of them and never let go. My goal was to provide comfort and reassurance by being there.

Ways to Comfort Without White Lies

My husband told me that it’s important not to lie to them. I wanted to tell them that something like this will never happen in Lincoln or in their school, but I couldn’t. It could happen here, so all I could do was validate their feelings of being afraid and reassure them that the drills they are doing are to protect them if something does happen. I emphasized that schools are safe and to take safety practices seriously.

I also told them that if they see something out of the ordinary happening in school to say something. I wanted to make sure they were comfortable reporting potential problems or behaviors that make them feel uncomfortable or unsafe in their school. This could be about gun violence, bullying, or any other at-risk behavior.

Emotional Control & Empowerment Strategies

We worked together on strategies that I hope will help them feel safe and empowered while they process their emotions. Teaching them coping techniques like breathing deeply, taking a timeout, exercising or engaging in creative activities like art and music can be helpful tools to draw upon when they experience triggers related to school shootings. My husband is better at this than I am, but I also tried to model empathy and self-care by practicing what I preached. The goal was to help them gain personal strength so they can face the difficult reality in ways that promote healing rather than cause further harm.

Even with these conversations, I reminded myself that I needed to be patient. Even if they weren’t in that school or that community, they may still be having a significant response to it. I was. There needs to be a change, but for now, I encourage you all to have those difficult conversations and hug your kiddos tight.

Mallory Connelly

Mallory Connelly

Babies & Toddlers

In addition to the time I devote to being a mom, I also work full-time outside the home, which means my day is hardly ever as simple as nine to five. With an all-too-established schedule, as soon as I walk through the door, my day doesn’t end, but rather just begins. It’s a balancing act, especially with two children, but being a mom is one full-time job that I never want to quit!

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Embracing Change: A Springtime Transformation for the Mind

Embracing Change: A Springtime Transformation for the Mind

by | Last updated Mar 28, 2023 | K-12

Spring is finally here. Don’t get me wrong, I love the wonders that fluffy snowflakes bring, but warmer weather is on the way and that means freshening up!

A Time for Transformations

Spring is about change. For me, it means moving past the cups of coffee warming my hands, binge-watching winter movies, and comfy fleece sweatpants.

While we declutter and paint inside, the outside world changes, too. The grass in our yard grows greener, my flowers blossom, the sun shines a little longer and our deck becomes an outdoor living space once again.

Overcoming Anxiety & Practicing Self-Compassion

As I begin noticing the seasonal change, my mind starts to look for ways I can change my inner self. I typically don’t like change. I often divert conversations about change.

But I was recently challenged to complete a task that instantly caused anxiety. I could feel the hives taking over my skin. I was vulnerable about this challenge, sharing my fear with my support system. Most importantly, I was patient with myself and kind to myself about this obstacle.

Teaching Kids About Change

I also think of how to teach my children the importance of being flexible to something new. Instead of fearing the unknown and resisting change, I want my kids to understand that change is good. Change can refresh our attitude. Change allows us to break away from monotonous daily routines. Internal change can drive us to be better people or pursue new adventures and goals. Accepting change makes us even more emotionally powerful.

How to Embrace Change Year-Round

Here are a few ways we can encourage and welcome change:

  1. Identify our fears.
  2. Acknowledge change.
  3. Laugh often.
  4. Focus on all the possibilities change can bring.
  5. Seek support.
  6. Be kind and patient with yourself.

Change is hard but inevitable. I am hopeful my internal changes will shape me into a more confident person that lasts longer than spring.

Shelly Mowinkel

Shelly Mowinkel

K-12 & Teens

My husband and I have three kids. Our oldest is a freshman in high school, and our youngest is in second grade. Most days, I feel like we are a “tag-team chauffeuring” service, yet I wouldn’t have our life any other way. Not only I am a business/technology teacher at Milford, I am also the district technology integration specialist. I love teaching because I get the opportunity to make those around me better. My hope is that, through my blogging, I am able to inspire, encourage, and share with you my adventures of being a wife, mother, and professional.

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Summer Planning for Tweens & Teens: How to Keep Them Busy

Summer Planning for Tweens & Teens: How to Keep Them Busy

by | Last updated Mar 13, 2023 | K-12

Summer break can’t come soon enough. We’re all desperate to decompress from the wild pace of the school year and enjoy a little downtime. But for parents of preteen or teenage kids who are past the age for camp and too young to find summer jobs, there’s a slight problem. What do we do with them all summer long?

Summer Activity Ideas From My Tween

When I mentioned summer plans to my 12-year-old, he told me, “I don’t want to go to camp. I just want time to hang out.” That’s when my parental anxiety set in. I knew in my heart that my middle-schooler was too old to go to that wonderful day camp that kept him busy and active, but I also knew that letting him “hang out” all day would mean too many unproductive hours in front of the TV, computer or his phone.

Plus, I can’t leave him home alone for extended periods of time, and he’s definitely not ready to plan his own day-to-day schedule. If he did, it’d be unlimited gaming, never-ending TV show binging, and meal times full of artificial colors and flavors. But at least the dog would love having him around!

Last Year’s Summer Camp Disaster

Having him at home with nothing to do over the summer isn’t a good option. I know from experience. In the summer of 2021, my son’s favorite program wasn’t available, and he hated the new summer camp that I signed him up for. So halfway through, I pulled him from that camp. By then, all other camps were full, so he stayed home. I tried to keep him busy with chores and other activities, but it wasn’t possible to keep that up all summer. The worst part is that the summer camp he loved is back this year, but he aged out!

Alternative Summer Programs for Preteens

After he turns 13, he wants to officiate youth soccer games. But until then, I thought he might just get his wish of staying home and doing the bare minimum. Until I discovered some alternatives.

More and more recreation centers, schools, museums and colleges are catering to this age group with classes and programs. I even found a volunteer center that is looking for preteens and teens to lend a hand. And it’s never too early to cultivate the entrepreneurial spirit—like mowing lawns or reffing soccer.

This age group may be beyond the general day camp approach, but there are so many creative programs out there that match our kids’ special interests. Just don’t be surprised if a single program doesn’t fill your preteen’s entire day. The camps my son wants to attend are only a few hours a day. They’re also expensive. We can’t afford to have him attend all summer long, but a couple weeks here and there may just work.

Advice for Parents About Summer Camp Enrollment

By being resourceful, I found a number of activities to make this an active, engaging summer for my son, while still reserving a little time to “hang out”. The best tip I can give parents who are interested in summer programs for their preteens? Start planning now. Many programs require advance registration, and popular ones fill up quickly.

My next step is to plan my busy work life around drop-offs and pick-ups. I’ll get the most out of my lunch breaks and set up a carpool schedule with his friends. By the end of the summer, I may feel like a taxi driver—always on the go. So much for decompressing!

Mallory Connelly

Mallory Connelly

Babies & Toddlers

In addition to the time I devote to being a mom, I also work full-time outside the home, which means my day is hardly ever as simple as nine to five. With an all-too-established schedule, as soon as I walk through the door, my day doesn’t end, but rather just begins. It’s a balancing act, especially with two children, but being a mom is one full-time job that I never want to quit!

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Finding a Career Path & Writing Your Life’s Story

Finding a Career Path & Writing Your Life’s Story

by | Last updated Jul 31, 2023 | K-12

As I sit here and write this blog, I find myself just staring at my desk. I look at the notes taped to my computer screen, the pile of speaker notes and dates, the reminder to order a basketball team picture, a filled-in calendar with crossed-out days and a framed photo of the senior softball players. The first initial thought is, “I need to clean my desk off”. However, after I continued gazing at my desk, I wrapped my mind around this thought, “This is my story”.

My husband who is well-versed in storytelling, shares three notable points:

“Stories give meaning to the past, context to the present and a vision for the future.”

Sharing Career Path Stories

And as I look at my desk, I see all of those notable points about stories jumping out, yet one very specific pile carries a majority of shared stories
my career speaker notes.

I have had the privilege of creating a new class for eighth graders to give them insight to the six Nebraska Career Fields. I have had nearly 20 different speakers share their career path journeys with my students. The stories shared have given all of my students a glimpse into each of their futures.

While each speaker shared their lived story, all stories had two unknown themes intertwined. The first theme was encouraging students to follow a passion. The second theme was hard work. And while this passion can be photo shooting, cooking, helping others, playing sports, rebuilding computers or even reading, the speakers encouraged the students to follow what makes them happy. The speakers shared that they did not find happiness in the salary, it was through finding a career that ignited their passion.

Yet following these career paths took resilience. It was hard. One speaker shared her five different jobs that spanned four different states to finally find a career she loves. A career where there is no “have to do this”. A career where her company encourages giving back to the community. This is resilience.

One speaker shared how scared he was to tell his parents he did not want to go to college. He had multiple opportunities throughout high school to craft his passion. He was ready to start his own business. He had to develop a plan. A plan that consisted of having three different jobs at one point helped him establish his business and pay bills. This is persevering.

Another speaker shared her love of learning and created a path to earning her Doctorate in Education. She transitioned from the education world to president of a communications company; however, she is still well-engrossed in her passion for teaching and learning. This took grit.

Finding a Path That’s Right for You

Through the many narratives, the students were able to give context to what they currently know and envision themselves pursuing that in the future. If this new class was not offered, I know I would not have reached out to the speakers. I would not have heard their stories. I would have not witnessed their passions, I would have not understood their path of resilience.

My students would not have learned about so many different career experiences. However, now they have a unique context to their current learning and a small vision for what they want to do (or not do) during high school.

For once, I am thankful for a pile of notes on a messy desk.

Shelly Mowinkel

Shelly Mowinkel

K-12 & Teens

My husband and I have three kids. Our oldest is a freshman in high school, and our youngest is in second grade. Most days, I feel like we are a “tag-team chauffeuring” service, yet I wouldn’t have our life any other way. Not only I am a business/technology teacher at Milford, I am also the district technology integration specialist. I love teaching because I get the opportunity to make those around me better. My hope is that, through my blogging, I am able to inspire, encourage, and share with you my adventures of being a wife, mother, and professional.

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What to Do When Your Kid Wants to Quit Sports

What to Do When Your Kid Wants to Quit Sports

by | Last updated Feb 13, 2023 | K-12

My daughter, Collyns, is almost nine years old. All her life, she has hated sports. She tried gymnastics but didn’t enjoy it. She loves to swim but not in the winter. She doesn’t have a competitive bone in her body. She’s my “free spirit,” the complete opposite of my son. But recently, she expressed interest in playing basketball. So, I signed her up for a recreational league.

Now, we’re halfway through the season, and she doesn’t want to go to practice or play in the games. There are only six girls on the team, so I think that she needs to stick to her commitment and play.

Deciding When to Let My Kid Quit Sports

At some point in life, many parents find themselves in a similar situation. What do you do when your kid isn’t enjoying sports? Do you push them to keep with it? Or do you let them quit? Unfortunately, there isn’t a cut-and-dry answer on how hard to push your children to try new things, including sports.

On one hand, I want to teach her important life skills, like perseverance, following through on commitments, and tolerating discomfort. These values will hopefully build her confidence when she faces challenging situations in the future. Plus, she seems to enjoy being on the court, exercising, and socializing with her friends. Sure, she has no idea what she’s doing, but she’s slowly learning.

On the other hand, I don’t want to force her to continue with an activity that’s maybe doing more harm than good. If it was harming her physically or emotionally, there wouldn’t be any debate.

Starting the Conversation

I needed to know why she wanted to quit before making my decision. I asked if she was being bullied by her coach or teammates or if her body was hurting. No. I asked her what was making her change her mind. She told me she was frustrated about her skill level. She enjoys dribbling and shooting the ball but not playing the game.

I told her that her feelings were valid and that I would think about letting her quit. I took a couple days to reflect and discuss it with her father. He didn’t want this to become a bigger issue, but I didn’t want her to quit. I knew she was just frustrated and needed to learn to try and solve problems before throwing in the towel.

Coming to a Final Decision

A few days later, I sat down with her and let her know my decision. I explained that earlier this year, she agreed to play the full season, and I think she should honor that. Together, we came up with three ways to possibly make basketball better.

  1. Practice — We realized that one practice a week wasn’t enough to build her skills, so we started to run drills at home.
  2. Attitude — She told me that I needed to be more positive, less competitive soccer mom. During games, I needed to watch my tone and give her words of encouragement. Unlike my son, she wanted to learn what she did well after a game, instead of hearing how she could improve.
  3. Enjoyment — Lastly, I encouraged her to go out and have fun. The score doesn’t matter.

I don’t want to give up on my free spirit child. If the end of the season comes and she still isn’t happy, I’ll help her find something that’s a better fit—like an individual sport instead of a team one. I’ll always push her to try new things and praise her for her efforts. That’s the best way to find a winner.

Mallory Connelly

Mallory Connelly

Babies & Toddlers

In addition to the time I devote to being a mom, I also work full-time outside the home, which means my day is hardly ever as simple as nine to five. With an all-too-established schedule, as soon as I walk through the door, my day doesn’t end, but rather just begins. It’s a balancing act, especially with two children, but being a mom is one full-time job that I never want to quit!

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Dress for Interview Success

Dress for Interview Success

by | Last updated Jan 30, 2023 | K-12

There are moms who love prom dress shopping and there are moms who love wedding dress shopping. Then there’s me. I love to take my daughters shopping for interview clothing. Now, I haven’t had the opportunity to go wedding dress shopping yet, but I sure do hope it goes better than prom dress shopping.

Anyway, here I am, shopping for interview outfits for my oldest daughter only a week after I took my younger daughter. I am giddy! And my girls can tell. Both remarked, “Mom, you really do like this!”

My husband and I pride ourselves on making sure our children are properly dressed and prepared for any interview, whether in person or online. Our girls are at different ages—one is preparing for her first leadership interview in high school, and the other preparing for her first professional interview. The girls don’t have the same training or leadership backgrounds, but both will benefit from a solid interview foundation.

Best Ways to Prepare for an Interview

We shared the following tips with our daughter preparing for interview this week:

  • Know your interviewer’s dress code. Both of our girls were in professional interviews, so they purchased a well-fitting black pantsuit with a white blouse. They accessorized their suits with just a bit of color to enhance the suit, not overwhelm.
  • Practice your handshake. Make sure it’s not too firm or too loose and definitely make sure your hands are dry of sweat.
  • Research the organization. Skim through their website, social media accounts and definitely know the mission of the company.
  • Practice answering questions in front of a mirror.
  • Arrive at least 15 minutes early to the interview, and be polite to every person you interact with.
  • Take notes during the interview. Use active listening skills. Pause before you answer questions to collect your thoughts. Ask your own questions.
  • Be gracious and appreciative. Thank the interviewers for spending their time with you. Follow up with a thank you letter.
  • After the interview, reflect.

Our middle daughter’s interview was for a school leadership organization. I am thankful she gets this opportunity because it’s a safe environment to receive critical feedback, reflect, and hone her resume, cover letter, and interview skills. And in typical teenage daughter fashion, when I asked about her interview, she responded, “Fine, mom, but I’ll be better prepared for next time.” And for me, that response is worth all my time and effort.

Shelly Mowinkel

Shelly Mowinkel

K-12 & Teens

My husband and I have three kids. Our oldest is a freshman in high school, and our youngest is in second grade. Most days, I feel like we are a “tag-team chauffeuring” service, yet I wouldn’t have our life any other way. Not only I am a business/technology teacher at Milford, I am also the district technology integration specialist. I love teaching because I get the opportunity to make those around me better. My hope is that, through my blogging, I am able to inspire, encourage, and share with you my adventures of being a wife, mother, and professional.

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Children & Social Media: Teaching Internet Safety for Kids

Children & Social Media: Teaching Internet Safety for Kids

by | Last updated Oct 1, 2024 | Babies, K-12

Let’s face it, as much as we might want to keep our kids away from social media forever, that’s probably not realistic. It could happen at any time. Eventually, my kids may want their own social media accounts.

It’s not a political question, but I know people have strong opinions about it. This topic recently came up in my house. Obviously, both my kids have seen us use social media. My almost 12-year-old son is already on Kids Messenger and YouTube. He also has online chat in multiplayer video games like Fortnite. I know other social media apps require you to be 13 years old but even that seems young.

Is Social Media Too Dangerous for Preteens?

I remember when Facebook became popular. I was a freshman in college, and I wanted nothing to do with it. I know I probably can’t force my kids to wait until college to be on social media, but that would be nice! Not only is social media a big part of my work life, but it’s also a big part of my creative life. So, the question that came up, “Can social media also be part of my pre-teen’s life, or is it too dangerous?”

The simple answer—from both my husband and I—is yes. It can be a part of a pre-teen’s life, and it is dangerous.

Parenting in the Digital Age

Don’t get me wrong, I am very aware that pre-teens and teenagers use social media to have fun, make and maintain friendships, share and learn interests, explore identities and develop relationships with family members far away. It’s an extension of their offline and face-to-face interactions. But this is also new territory for most parents, including myself.

Instead of being terrified by the situation, my husband and I sat down and discussed it. We didn’t have social media growing up, nor cell phones or the internet. We’re parenting in a whole new world, and we know that it’s up to us to teach them right from wrong whether online or offline.

Creating a Social Media Plan for Kids

As a family, we came up with a plan that everyone agreed on.

Using social media responsibly doesn’t just happen. It requires regular conversation and routine updates. That’s why my husband and I will monitor Cohen’s social media usage. At first, I thought that seemed to be violating his privacy, but my husband reminded me that kids don’t always make the best decisions. So, when Cohen gets social media apps, we all understand that I can look at his pages any time.

Our social media plan goes back to our cell phone rules. I have his passwords and can look at his messages. We try to be proactive by teaching him online etiquette and safety before he gets in trouble and learns the hard way. The most important part of this plan is having an open dialogue with our child and setting boundaries around the appropriate, responsible use of digital devices.

Conversations about Digital Responsibility

We explained to Cohen what social media is and how it can be used in a child-friendly manner. We told him there are restrictions in place for his protection. We discussed appropriate and inappropriate online behavior. We let him know that he is vulnerable to online predators, even if he’s unaware, so to be careful with virtual strangers.

I taught my kids about responsibly uploading photos of themselves and friends. They know that whatever they post on social media stays there forever. While images, videos, tweets and messages can be deleted, information can resurface for others to still see, screenshot or save their content before it goes away.

Instead of banning my kids from all social activities online, we’ll continue to teach them how to be smart about their social engagements and keep the conversation going as they grow older.

Mallory Connelly

Mallory Connelly

Babies & Toddlers

In addition to the time I devote to being a mom, I also work full-time outside the home, which means my day is hardly ever as simple as nine to five. With an all-too-established schedule, as soon as I walk through the door, my day doesn’t end, but rather just begins. It’s a balancing act, especially with two children, but being a mom is one full-time job that I never want to quit!

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One Way to Stick to Your New Year’s Resolution

One Way to Stick to Your New Year’s Resolution

by | Last updated Jan 3, 2023 | K-12

The start of a new year—an opportunity to start fresh, set goals and resolutions, and on and on and on. Somewhere, someone has already given up on their resolutions just reading this never-ending laundry list. Here are my recommendations for creating a New Year’s resolution that will actually stick.

Making Resolutions in the New Year

I usually find something to define my year—a word, a song verse or even a vision board. But this time, as I try to type out my intentions for 2023, the delete key on my keyboard is getting plenty of use. I’ll write a line, press the delete key, type another word, and hit delete again and again.

I keep thinking this is the year of better health in all dimensions—physically, mentally, emotionally, socially and spiritually. I want to be better at listening, taking in less caffeine, consistently journaling, meal prepping more often, and spreading more kindness, joy, and grace. I just want to be better in every aspect.

Do Your Goals Need to Be SMART?

The teacher in me shouts, “Goals need to be SMART: specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and timebound,” and “Just be better” is certainly not specific or easily measurable.

But being better is relevant and attainable. As we raise our children, being better is definitely relevant. Not being better than someone else, but making ourselves better. We can all aspire to “just be better”.

How to “Just Be Better” in 2023

But how am I going to be better this year? I’m going to create micro goals around my health and use the three-layer goal-setting method instead of the SMART system. Here’s what that looks like for me:

  • For the first 10 days of January, I’ll get better in two areas (maybe journaling and meal prepping).
  • On days 11-20, I’ll add another area (like taking in less caffeine) and be better in a total of three areas.
  • In the last 11 days of January, I’ll add another, more challenging area (like extending more grace) for a total of four areas.

These micro goals will lay a foundation in my first month and make achieving a vague goal—like better health—more likely. Plus, these layers will allow me to focus when it’s incredibly easy to get off track in the snowy winter months. No excuses, just plenty of sticky notes to remind me to be a better person than yesterday.

So, if you’re like me and not sure how to set goals this year, just choose to be better.

Shelly Mowinkel

Shelly Mowinkel

K-12 & Teens

My husband and I have three kids. Our oldest is a freshman in high school, and our youngest is in second grade. Most days, I feel like we are a “tag-team chauffeuring” service, yet I wouldn’t have our life any other way. Not only I am a business/technology teacher at Milford, I am also the district technology integration specialist. I love teaching because I get the opportunity to make those around me better. My hope is that, through my blogging, I am able to inspire, encourage, and share with you my adventures of being a wife, mother, and professional.

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Past & Presents: A Holiday Gift to Remember

Past & Presents: A Holiday Gift to Remember

by | Last updated Dec 5, 2022 | K-12

Nearly five years later, I can still vividly see my mom at her quilting machine. Perfectly piecing together different colors of fabric and swiftly moving them through the sewing machine. I can remember seeing my aunts’ watery eyes glisten when they opened a quilt handcrafted by mom. I think of a wintry weekend when I asked mom to sew 11 different quilts to give away, and without hesitation, we were piecing and quilting away.

A Mother’s Love Language

Yet, when I think about mom’s quilts, I think of her precious time. Mom had an impeccable eye for detail, and each quilt had its own story. That’s why she poured so many hours into her craft. I think about all the conversations that were had and prayers that were said while she quilted away.

I always thought my mom’s love language was gifting. However, I now realize her true languages were quality time and acts of service. These two languages just happened to be given away in the form of quilts.

Remembering Gammy

One day, in a long overdue conversation with my middle daughter, Addi, I sensed sadness and heartache. She was missing her Gammy.

As we remembered mom, quilts naturally took center stage. I was going through a “mind catalog” of the innumerable quilts mom carefully crafted. Addi mentioned her favorite Gammy quilt was the one with the Minky material. I reminisced about the baby doll quilts mom would make when our daughters were little. I also thought of our wedding quilt, the one stored away for no hands to touch.

One Gift Greater Than Quilts

Then, my mind turned to my mom’s mother, her sisters, her best friend, my mother-in-law, her quilting circle, and anyone who spent even an hour creating with her. As the tears rolled down my cheeks, this moment wasn’t just about mom. It was about sharing this heartfelt conversation and uninterrupted time with Addi.

This Christmas season, just like many others, all I want is a quilt from my mother. While I’ll never receive a quilt made from my mom’s hands again, this conversation with Addi showed me the true gift from mom’s quilts is the time we give away to spend with the ones we love.

Shelly Mowinkel

Shelly Mowinkel

K-12 & Teens

My husband and I have three kids. Our oldest is a freshman in high school, and our youngest is in second grade. Most days, I feel like we are a “tag-team chauffeuring” service, yet I wouldn’t have our life any other way. Not only I am a business/technology teacher at Milford, I am also the district technology integration specialist. I love teaching because I get the opportunity to make those around me better. My hope is that, through my blogging, I am able to inspire, encourage, and share with you my adventures of being a wife, mother, and professional.

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Toys, Cash or Bust

Toys, Cash or Bust

by | Last updated Nov 28, 2022 | K-12, Toddlers

It’s November 1 and the Walmart toy catalog has arrived. You look and see that things have already been circled and an entire page has a large circle around every toy. This is what happens every year. The toys wanted are circled with my kids’ names next to them, so I of course know who wants what under the tree. But this year, my daughter was the only one with things circled. Why? Because my son only wants an Xbox. A $500 gift. But he knows “Santa” won’t get him an Xbox because that’s too expensive, so he is asking everyone for cash.

Should Kids Get Cash for Christmas?

But cash for Christmas perhaps you’re thinking: What? Are your kids too good for toys now? Or maybe you’re stuck on the idea that giving someone money is so impassive and unsentimental. Of course, the last thing I want to do is disappoint my kids, but I want to make sure they’re old enough to appreciate getting cold, hard cash instead of traditional gifts.

If you are like most families, your kids have enough stuff. Asking for money can be uncomfortable, no doubt. It’s about setting the stage, letting the gift-giver know the reasoning behind the request and what the money will be used for. There are lots of opinions about the good and bad of giving money as a gift–or, gasp, asking for money as a gift. And when done incorrectly, yes, it can come off as rude and selfish.

However, there are a few reasons why you might want to consider foregoing traditional gifts and asking for money instead. Cohen doesn’t play with toys. He is at that age where it’s either soccer or video games. He is trying to save money for an Xbox. I realized the older the kids, the more expensive the gifts. He doesn’t want the traditional gift, nor does he need it, so he’s asking grandpa, grandpa, aunts and uncles for money. Sure, he could use another pair of pants so if his grandma wants to go shopping, I will suggest that option.

Gifting Money is Practical & Useful

But, for now, I am tactfully encouraging my family members to give money. I am proposing ways to make it fun for them to give cash.

There are a few ways you can do this. If Cohen wanted to use the money for sports or other lessons, I would invite his family members to recitals or games. I want them to see the joy he gets from the activity and know the part they played in helping create that joy.

After Cohen saves enough for him to accomplish his dream of owning an Xbox, I plan to send family members a video or some pictures. I want them to see Cohen embracing and enjoying what their monetary gift helped achieve.

So rather it be a Barbie for Collyns, yes, her gifts are still easy to buy or cash for Cohen, there’s no hard and fast rule regarding giving cash as gifts. The truth is no one in my family needs 37 gifts. Getting off the gift-giving merry-go-round starts with a frank discussion with friends and family.

The great thing about gifting money is it’s practical and useful. Secondly, it will save everyone time from lining up at those shopping malls, and lastly, Cohen will actually love getting cash especially if you present it in a creative way. I already started pinning ideas on how to give cash as a gift on Pinterest.

Believe it or not, the gift of cash will be the best present he’ll receive this Christmas!

Mallory Connelly

Mallory Connelly

Babies & Toddlers

In addition to the time I devote to being a mom, I also work full-time outside the home, which means my day is hardly ever as simple as nine to five. With an all-too-established schedule, as soon as I walk through the door, my day doesn’t end, but rather just begins. It’s a balancing act, especially with two children, but being a mom is one full-time job that I never want to quit!

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