Traveling Through Life with My Squad

Traveling Through Life with My Squad

by | Oct 28, 2019 | K-12

The group text message went like this:

“Okay squad…I am 95% sure I want a tat. Who also needs one? I need my squad for moral support to get me through the door.”

“I am definitely out for the tattoo, but can be there for moral support.”

“I am in!!! I want one with my Dad’s handwriting.”

“I might consider it!”

“I will support. But out on the ink for me.”

I am an introvert and a private person. Being around crowds is very overwhelming to me, my anxiety rises and I tend to find myself conversing with only a few people whom I feel comfortable with. This may come as a surprise to some since I am surrounded by students, adults and other colleagues all the time in my career.

Forming My Squad

Believe me, throughout the many stages of life, I have tried to include everyone in everything. But I also realize that due to my introvertedness, it may be hard to get to know me and I can come off as unfriendly at times. And having people think I am unfriendly causes me additional stress. This is why my circle of friends is so important to me, especially during this stage of life.

Ten years ago our squad had one thing in common: our daughters’ softball team. Eventually, at the games, we started sitting by each other, sharing snacks, and learning about each other’s likes and dislikes. Over the course of ten years we have celebrated new additions to families, mourned the deaths of parents, shared hysterectomy stories and gone on family vacations.

Friends Through Thick & Thin

So naturally, I turned to my squad to find the courage to get a tattoo (or talk me out of it). Yet, what I appreciate about our squad is that there is definitely always a gathering place, we show constant support for all of our kids, we can laugh to “make it all better,” and we respect the silence that helps bond and grow all relationships.

Every stage of life brings new adventures, challenges, stories and milestones. While we travel through each of these stages, the best part is having a squad by your side for the journey.

There are those friends that come into our life journey for a short distance or even get out at the first stop sign. While others are there for the long haul and walk your journey with you. The softball moms could’ve sensed my closed nature and quickly jumped out at the first stop sign and given up on me long, long ago. But they didn’t—they all stayed in the vehicle, and I am incredibly thankful to be on this ride together.

Enjoying Every Bit of the Ride

This year is special. This year is hard. This year four of us have high school seniors. Two moms have kids who have already graduated, two moms are experiencing graduation for the first time, and another smiles and cries along with us and is trying to figure out how she will do this next year. Senior year is hard not only for the child, but also for the parents. We have spent our entire parenting years preparing our kids for their next journey, but we want to hold onto them and keep them in our homes just a little longer.

Yet, if it was not for our daughters, we would not be the friends or better yet, the family we are today. Each of us has our own joys, frustrations and insecurities, but we also bring our own perspectives and insight about life and the journey we are on. In the end, we all know we are still loved and we will be there for each stop along the way.

Shelly Mowinkel

Shelly Mowinkel

K-12 & Teens

My husband and I have three kids. Our oldest is a freshman in high school, and our youngest is in second grade. Most days, I feel like we are a “tag-team chauffeuring” service, yet I wouldn’t have our life any other way. Not only I am a business/technology teacher at Milford, I am also the district technology integration specialist. I love teaching because I get the opportunity to make those around me better. My hope is that, through my blogging, I am able to inspire, encourage, and share with you my adventures of being a wife, mother, and professional.

You may also like

I Share Too Much

I Share Too Much

by | Oct 21, 2019 | K-12

“I know you, and I haven’t even met you.”

Lately, several bloggers I follow have written about issues of privacy and what they are willing to reveal about themselves in their blogs. I am an over-sharer, especially with friends. I reveal everything in real life, but I am more hesitant online and I try to retain some vagueness.

What You See Is What You Get

When I started writing for this blog, it was an exercise in public writing. I have, over the last several years, been open about my flaws, struggles and family issues. I’ve willingly allowed the blog to become a collection of personal essays. I try to be protective of the people in my life, but write about aspects of our lives together. I regard very few things as sacred—I am an open book.

I assume that I am not unique and that my experiences and feelings have been felt by many other humans. Commenters have said that they admire my openness and honesty, but it is less about those virtues than the fact that I like to live my life the easiest way possible. I want to be the “What You See is What You Get” version of myself online, because it’s easier. People who know me offline are rarely surprised by anything that I post. Recently, however, I think I overshared. There’s such a fine line between presenting the authentic you and sharing too much.

The Downside to Oversharing

In a recent blog, I discussed how important communication is with your spouse, as every married couple knows! However, my husband and I have been so busy, our communication has been lacking, resulting in built up anger and frustration. Lately, we’ve been having arguments and they never get resolved. We yell and go to bed angry and never talk about it, or at least it doesn’t get brought up for a good couple of weeks.

Well, the past fight had been eating away at me and I overshared with a bunch of friends and on social media. I divulged deep and embarrassing details from our marriage. At the time it made me feel better to talk about my feelings, but I realized after I shared these intimate details that I needed to talk to my husband instead of my friends. When these details came up at a group outing with my husband, I knew he was hurt.

Knowing When Enough Is Enough

In today’s world, communication that used to entail my best friend through a private pipeline is now something posted, tweeted and pinned. I decided I probably should make time to be a spouse, parent, take a shower, and occasionally talk to my husband. If I would have just talked to him in the first place — not during the argument, but set a time to talk — my oversharing may not have happened.

The beauty of blogging, and the thing that sets blogging apart from other forms of Internet marketing, is that it is personal and relational. Thus, I pride myself in being real and authentic, and to tell stories that other women can relate to. I just need to make sure that I strike that balance between sharing without oversharing and letting everyone see the real me, flaws and all.

Mallory Connelly

Mallory Connelly

Babies & Toddlers

In addition to the time I devote to being a mom, I also work full-time outside the home, which means my day is hardly ever as simple as nine to five. With an all-too-established schedule, as soon as I walk through the door, my day doesn’t end, but rather just begins. It’s a balancing act, especially with two children, but being a mom is one full-time job that I never want to quit!

You may also like

Blow Us All Away

Blow Us All Away

by | Oct 7, 2019 | Grandparents

It’s no secret that the Broadway show Hamilton played in Omaha during September. I first became interested in the show when it won every Tony Award in 2016. My enthusiasm grew even more when a graduate of Lincoln North Star had a role in the Hamilton touring company in Chicago.

Traveling and seeing the show in Chicago was not in our budget, so I had to experience her performance vicariously through friends. When I learned Hamilton was coming to Omaha, I was thrilled and knew we had to attend.

A Night Out at the Theater

The fun began when I told our grandkids we were planning on attending Hamilton. Wouldn’t it be thrilling if all four of the grandkids could go with us? Immediately, our grandson opted out for sports. I was a bit disappointed, but not surprised. The three remaining kids were thrilled and wanted to join us.

Unfortunately, two of them are in college and would not be able to return to Lincoln for the show. The final granddaughter was excited. The bonus was this particular granddaughter was about to have a birthday, so a night on the town was the perfect gift. My sister learned of our plans and wanted to join us as well, which meant four were now going. We were giddy with anticipation as we began making plans to enjoy a pre-show meal and the show. The date was agreed upon and tickets were bought.

Prepping By Getting to Know the Music

Weeks before attending the show, we all agreed to take turns listening to the CD to better understand the lyrics. But our granddaughter had been listening to the sound track on her phone for over a year. She also encouraged us to listen and even gave us a synopsis of the Alexander Hamilton story. We all agreed and it was indeed helpful.

We watched the show in awe of the dancing, silently singing each of the songs, and basically, the entire story. It truly was everything we had anticipated and more. After the show, the four of us talked about our favorite songs, favorite characters and favorite scenes. We each had different favorites, but all agreed the show was perfect.

We also loved the idea of combining so any different music genres into one show. I remarked I had never had rap as my “go to” music genre. Our granddaughter gently suggested to me the reason I’ve never liked rap was because I never knew what words were being rapped. She was right, of course!

Similarities to Today’s Politics

Our discussion moved beyond sharing our favorites. We started talking about how much of the story had never been taught in school. We never really knew the politicians in Hamilton were so backstabbing, aggressive, didn’t listen to other opinions and believed the party agenda should always be first. Our granddaughter commented on the similarities to what’s happening in Washington, DC today, and it seemed to her we haven’t learned many lessons from our country’s early history.

The show was the highlight, but an equally rare highlight was rapping with our granddaughter. I doubt she would call what I was doing as rapping. She even let me cheat by reading the lyrics. Not sure when we’ll have a rapping duet again, so I’ll cherish the memories we created that night. Or maybe I need to create rapping as a new holiday tradition!

Nancy Becker

Nancy Becker

Grandkids & Grandparents

I have four grandchildren ages 14-17. In some ways, I’m a very typical grandma, always proud of everything the kids do and wanting to help support them in whatever way I can. In other ways, I’m not very typical. My goal as a blogger is to share my thoughts and experiences that I think are funny and meaningful as I adventure through grandmahood.

You may also like

The Senior Year To-Do List

The Senior Year To-Do List

by | Sep 23, 2019 | K-12

Some combination of the following statement is often said over and over, “Don’t blink. Your children grow up way too fast, before you know it they will be a _______ (fill in the blank.)”

Here we are with a senior daughter. She did grow up way too fast. I realized I need to fasten my seatbelt because this year is flying by faster than any other year. While my husband and I are trying to be still and soak up every minute at every activity of hers, the days left until graduation keep diminishing quicker and quicker.

Preparing for Graduation Starts Now

I know we still have eight months until graduation and life beyond high school, but we will need to start checking things off of our to-do list, as I like to be prepared and our daughter takes her time in making decisions. And while our daughter is enjoying her senior year and stressing out about her dual credit classes, I pretty much need a few lessons from the book “First Time Senior Parents: How to Survive.”

I quickly remind myself of all of those rule-following, first-time parent things I messed up on the first time around, such as when to introduce fruits and vegetables or even when to allow her to jump in mud puddles. I have decided to stay away from all of those first-time senior parent books, websites and articles. We are creating our own family “graduation to-do” list with the help of our high school senior daughter.

The Graduation To-Do List

For those first-time senior parents out there, if you have no idea when this or that need to be completed, I am sharing our to-do list with you. The items listed include both to-dos for us as parents and our daughter to complete. This list is continually being added to, however, it is a great start for those of us who are graduating our first born.

In October

  • File the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) form

By November

  • Visit final colleges one last time
  • Set a budget for the graduation celebration
  • Make senior picture final decisions
  • Finalize graduation invite list
  • Create and have graduation invites printed
  • Start filling out scholarships

By January

  • Plan decorations and table centerpieces
  • Purchase all paper products
  • Continue filling out scholarships

By February

  • Determine foods that will be served
  • Continue filling out scholarships
  • Create graduation video

During March

  • Order desserts
  • Mail out invites
  • Print out pictures that will be displayed at the graduation celebration
  • Plan out help for the day
  • Finish applying for scholarships

During April

  • Finalize foods to be served
  • Prepare grocery list
  • Finalize college choice (if our daughter has not made her decision)
  • Create picture timeline display and keep it simple
  • Determine how guests will sign in and leave an encouraging message

May

  • Thoroughly clean our house and manicure our landscape
  • With the help of Grandma Jo and others, set up for the graduation celebration
  • Celebrate our daughter’s graduation from high school

Two months into the school year, here I am with the to-do list on my devices and my seatbelt fastened. Yet, the most important to-do list that I make sure I check off daily is the written note: be still and enjoy.

Shelly Mowinkel

Shelly Mowinkel

K-12 & Teens

My husband and I have three kids. Our oldest is a freshman in high school, and our youngest is in second grade. Most days, I feel like we are a “tag-team chauffeuring” service, yet I wouldn’t have our life any other way. Not only I am a business/technology teacher at Milford, I am also the district technology integration specialist. I love teaching because I get the opportunity to make those around me better. My hope is that, through my blogging, I am able to inspire, encourage, and share with you my adventures of being a wife, mother, and professional.

You may also like

Becoming a Soccer Mom

Becoming a Soccer Mom

by | Sep 16, 2019 | K-12

I never thought I would be a soccer mom. Growing up I hated the sport. I tried it once and it wasn’t for me. But in August of 2017, I officially became a soccer mom and joined in on all the endless practices, games, and tournaments of the soccer mom world. Gone were the carefree weekends of sleeping in, making plans, and traveling. Without realizing, we’ve slowly began to live and breathe soccer, especially now. Recently, Cohen decided to try spirit soccer instead of recreational soccer through the YMCA.

Cohen felt that he was ready for a more competitive league. And boy, if we didn’t live and breathe soccer before we do now. As a soccer mom, you sign them up, take them to practice, bring orange slices, and cheer them on at games. That’s it, right? If the job was that easy, anyone would do it. Being a soccer mom in today’s world is a lot of work.

Kids Sports Aren’t How They Used to Be

Before the league even started, there was the expensive uniform I needed to buy. The uniforms had to be a certain kind, from a certain vender, and hundreds of dollars later Cohen received a pair of black shorts, black socks, and two jerseys that we could have bought a lot cheaper at Wal-Mart.

Practice started two weeks before the first game. Cohen’s team was made up of 8 and 9-year old’s, whom he’d never met. But he was excited and happy to play for the Redhawks. There he was two days a week practicing a sport that he loved, and it showed during the games.

Increasing the Intensity of Parents

The games started and you could instantly tell which of the boys really wanted to play and which boys played because it was their parents dream. The first game Cohen’s team got crushed. The boys had little chemistry and you could tell it was their first game that they have ever played together. But Cohen continued to have a smile on his face and you could tell he loved the game. The second game showed promise and the team was building momentum—that game ended in a tie. Finally, by the third game the team started to click. But these spirit games had a different feel. They were intense, not only from the coaching and players, but from the parents as well.

Parents of athletes can be wildly passionate about their children’s performance on the field, particularly as it relates to how much field/play time they get. Like any sport, people get emotionally charged during a soccer game. Parents, especially dads, sometimes feel they know more than the referee and/or coach. It gets frustrating watching your child play with a hollering dad sitting in the grass on the sidelines. You have the coach giving instruction on one end and the dad giving opposite instruction on the other. I will never claim to be knowledgeable in all the various aspects of this sport, and I do sometimes tell my son to be more aggressive, but as far as play calls I leave that to the coach and not these know-it-all dads.

Passion & Sportsmanship Go Hand-in-Hand

I personally think it’s admirable to be passionate about something. However, there is a distinct difference in being passionate and being unsportsmanlike. I constantly hear parents talking about how their child was treated unfairly on the field, demanding rematches and more field time, or for another child to be benched because they are not as good as this parent’s child. You wouldn’t believe the amount of drama that goes on both on and off the field. It’s enough to create a Soccer Mom-themed Bravo reality show. I can’t imagine how club soccer or any higher level of soccer will be. It’s quite a jungle out there already!

Pressures from the coach and the expectations of an unreasonably high level of commitment from me, Cohen, and my entire family, but also the pressures from the daily academic stresses of juggling practices and studies. Beyond all this pressure, there is the ultimate demand of playing the perfect game. Cohen has yet to play the perfect game, which unless he’s a U.S. Olympian, he won’t. And that’s okay—let’s remember he’s eight! But seeing Cohen’s determination at practice and during the games makes it all worth it. I know my son won’t be the next David Beckham but as long as he’s having fun, I’ll continue with this new title of soccer mom, which I am proud to have.

Mallory Connelly

Mallory Connelly

Babies & Toddlers

In addition to the time I devote to being a mom, I also work full-time outside the home, which means my day is hardly ever as simple as nine to five. With an all-too-established schedule, as soon as I walk through the door, my day doesn’t end, but rather just begins. It’s a balancing act, especially with two children, but being a mom is one full-time job that I never want to quit!

You may also like

Developmental Milestones for Your Baby & Toddler: When to Relax and When to Seek Help

Developmental Milestones for Your Baby & Toddler: When to Relax and When to Seek Help

by | Sep 9, 2019 | Expert Health Tips

A child’s first words and first steps are memorable events – and most parents want their children to reach these and other developmental milestones ‘on time’ or to achieve them early. So it’s natural to be concerned if your little one isn’t, in your view, keeping up with these milestones. But how do you know if it’s time to truly worry?

Children don’t always meet milestones at the same time or at the age range expected. That’s okay! It’s not a big deal to miss one or two developmental milestones. These milestones should be looked at as a range for developing skills.

Preemies are a special case. Babies who are born prematurely usually will not meet milestones on time. As an example, if your baby was born two months early, he may reach four-month milestones at six months. We generally adjust milestones for premature babies until they reach age two.

That said, when children who are not preemies miss most of the milestones in their age range, it’s worth talking with your child’s doctor.

Here are some milestones and red flags that will help you know if and when to take action.

Two to Four Months Old

Motor Skills: Holding items in the hand. Pushing the upper body with support of the arms when he’s on his tummy. Pushing down on his legs when his feet are on the floor, like when he’s placed in a walker.

Cognitive Skills: Responding to voices. Following movement with his eyes and watching faces. Making some eye contact. He can give a social smile when he interacts with his caregivers.

Language Skills: He should gurgle and coo. There may be some different inflection in his vocalizations.

Red Flags: Not responding to loud noises, interacting with caregivers or visually following movement.

Six to Eight Months Old

Motor Skills: Sitting unsupported for short periods of time. Passing objects from one hand to another. Grasping at things with her whole hand. She can probably roll over.

Cognitive Skills: She has gotten better at watching things. Her eyes track side-to-side, up and down, and in circular motions. Reaching for things that are in her field of vision.

Language Skills: Responding to sounds by “talking” back. Turning toward sound sources. She may repeat syllables, like “ma-ma,” “da-da” or “ba-ba”. She’s interested in social play—a fan of peek-a-boo or pat-a-cake.

Red Flags: Stiff or tight muscles. Sloppy or ragdoll-like movement patterns. Showing no affection for caregivers. Eyes turning inward or outward. Not responding to sounds.

One Year Old

Motor Skills: Crawling. Pulling himself up to standing with the support of furniture. Taking steps with help or support. Ability to grasp finger foods. Using both hands together to pick things up. Pinching things, poking things. Shaking, banging, throwing and dropping toys. Waving and clapping.

Cognitive Skills: Imitates gestures. More engagement in social play. Extending an arm or leg to help get dressed. May show some anxiety with strangers.

Language Skills: Speaking more. Maybe using noises as names, like “mama” or “dada”. Responding to “no”. Understanding simple verbal requests

Red Flags: Dragging one side of the body while crawling. Inability to stand with support. No words. Not seeking out a caregiver when upset.

Toddlers

Motor Skills: Younger toddlers should be mobile and walking, perhaps pulling toys along. Fine motor skills like scribbling and stacking blocks.

Cognitive Skills: Identifying body parts. Pretending. Starting to categorize things.

Language Skills: Using pronouns (I, me, he, she, for example.) Naming colors and objects. Listening to short stories. Creating simple sentences.

Red Flags: Extreme clumsiness. Inability to sit still for long periods of time. Not walking yet. Oversensitivity to light, sound or movement.

Tracking Milestones and Treatment

  • Many milestone checklists are available with a simple online search
  • Make note as your child attains new skills
  • Talk to your child’s doctor if multiple milestones are missed or you notice developmental red flags

If your child is missing milestones, your child’s doctor can evaluate his or her development and guide treatment as needed. Physical therapy can help with muscle tone, while occupational therapy can help your child develop fine motor skills. Speech therapy treats language development. If you are concerned about your child’s development, talk to your child’s doctor about potential needs for a therapy specialist.

More on Child Development

Want to learn more? Listen to a 10-minute podcast with Stacey Anderson, a pediatric occupational therapist at Bryan Health:

Listen Now!
Stacey Anderson

Stacey Anderson

Pediatric Occupational Therapist

Stacey Anderson is a Pediatric Occupational Therapist with Bryan Health!

You may also like

Succulents Suck

Succulents Suck

by | Sep 3, 2019 | Grandparents

This summer, we had a granddaughter working at one of those pop-up green houses. Her location was near one of the Super Savers in town.

I bought a flat of marigolds and planted them early. She was a great help in picking out the color and size of the plants. Not to brag, but I thought I did a pretty good job of planting the flowers. They began to grow and provide some colorful blooms. Then the monsoon rains fell, and fell, and continued to fall. The marigolds were planted in a small trench around our curved backyard patio.

Rain, Rain, Go Away

The flowers did not come with life jackets or scuba gear, so they drowned in the standing water. I asked my granddaughter what I should do. She assured me the plants would probably not make it, but it would be wise to be patient and wait until the rain stopped and the sun dried things off. As you recall, the rain continued to fall and the plants were a total loss. She suggested I buy more plants and start over in a couple of weeks.

That’s what I did. I followed my granddaughter’s instructions and I bought another flat of marigolds to start the process over. I wanted to give her a little more business, so I bought some succulents. I had some in past years, but it had been a while. I thought it was time to grow some again. My granddaughter encouraged this purchase, probably because she knew they wouldn’t be washed out by the rain.

Succulents Sucking the Fun from Gardening

She helped me pick out a variety of succulents, all of which looked rather exotic. I purchased six—five of them would go into a large container and the sixth to be planted in an individual pot. After more purchases, I planted everything and was pleased with the process and results.

About a month later, my granddaughter showed up at our house. I’ve seen her several times within the month, but our visits are not as frequent as when she was young. I miss conversations with each of the grandkids. However, their lives have gotten busy and I understand—plus, they have to make money for college! When she came into our house, she was looking around the kitchen and living room for a small picture frame she wanted to borrow. She noticed the succulents in the big container and said, “Grandma, don’t you ever water these?” I responded with a hem hawing, “yes?” Then she told me they were too dry and would die. I thanked her for her advice. She smiled at me, found the picture frame and gave me a hug.

A month later, my granddaughter came to our house to take part in a family meal and looked at the succulents. “Grandma, you are over watering the plants. They will die.” Of course, I wanted to tell her to make up her mind, but I did not. She was right. Some of the leaves were dropping off and the plants were starting to look pathetic. She suggested the ice cube method of watering plants. Who would have thought you could put an ice cube in the pot and that would be enough water to feed it.

It’s All a Balancing Act

I realized then there was a lesson to be learned—there needed to be a balance in watering the succulents. Likewise, there needs to be a balance in being a grandma of growing grandkids. If I pay too much attention to them, (i.e., texts, calls, concern because I don’t see them enough), they feel smothered. The other extreme is not paying any attention to them, never texting or writing to them and they will forget me. OK, they won’t forget me, but you get the picture.

Whether watering the succulents or being a loving, nurturing grandma, finding the right balance is the key to a healthy relationship. The challenge is finding a balance in a constantly changing world. I’m up for that challenge. As we age we can either watch the world in our rear view mirrors, or through our windshield as new things come at us. The art of grandparenting, if done right, pays us huge dividends

Nancy Becker

Nancy Becker

Grandkids & Grandparents

I have four grandchildren ages 14-17. In some ways, I’m a very typical grandma, always proud of everything the kids do and wanting to help support them in whatever way I can. In other ways, I’m not very typical. My goal as a blogger is to share my thoughts and experiences that I think are funny and meaningful as I adventure through grandmahood.

You may also like

Simple Solutions for Dealing with Stress

Simple Solutions for Dealing with Stress

by | Aug 26, 2019 | K-12

The start of the school year is a hectic time, as getting back into a routine is tough and tiredness sets in. Anxiety and stress also become more prevalent as busy schedules, homework and less time at home takes a toll on our household.

On top of all of this, we have a senior making decisions regarding her career choice, colleges and taking dual credit classes, which adds another layer of stress. And we also have two other children who have realized this is the last year their older sister will be home every night, which has added another unforeseen layer of stress.

It’s those evenings before big projects or quizzes are due that seem to be the most stressful. My husband often tells me, “You are dealing with our stressed out daughter because she is exactly like you!”

Focusing on Where Stress Stems From

I am a firm believer in parents being a positive role model in their children’s lives. Yet, I am wired as an, “always on the go, something has to be done, worry about it until I get sick” person. I love to travel, but I have a panic attack at every airport until I am through TSA.

These are qualities I definitely don’t want my children to be like at any stage of life. All of this changed when my father had a heart attack this past summer and ended up in a 6.5-hour quadruple bypass surgery. The doctors talked about how diet and stress played a huge part in his episode. I made a conscious effort from that point on to really focus on triggers that cause stress in my life.

Ways to Help Kids Handle Stress

As I continue to grow in this area, these are techniques I am sharing with not only our senior daughter, but our other two children as well:

  1. Get and use a planner. Our kids are very good about purchasing a planner, but about half way through the year the planner becomes nonexistent. We need to keep discussing with our kids the importance of writing down due dates and activities.
  2. Do not procrastinate and prioritize tasks. That’s it. Make time for things when you can and don’t leave them until the last minute.
  3. Encourage more time to relax. I need to encourage them to put down homework and set aside activities so they can just hang out and relax.
  4. Get sleep. The average hours of sleep for our teenage daughter last school year was 5-6 hours per night. A stressed out mind and body will lead to sleep deprivation. Encouraging her to go to bed earlier and getting a better night’s rest will allow her to approach stressful situations more calmly.

Ways to Help Yourself Handle Stress

As a parent, strategies I am working on are:

  1. Avoid the constant reminders or nagging. If I am constantly on their case about getting homework done or prioritizing tasks, I am diminishing their responsibilities. Plus, I’m sure they get frustrated with the constant reminders. I can encourage them to set small goals, which will ultimately help them develop better time management skills and learn not to procrastinate.
  2. Set limits on technology. This will allow our children to understand that they don’t have to be connected to social media all of the time and to learn to be present in the moment.

Even though the start of the year is an adjustment for us and stress seems to escalate, there are strategies that our entire family can do to combat stress. Modeling and practicing these positive strategies towards stress will hopefully teach my children to handle their stress in various circumstances, especially when it comes to school and busy schedules.

Shelly Mowinkel

Shelly Mowinkel

K-12 & Teens

My husband and I have three kids. Our oldest is a freshman in high school, and our youngest is in second grade. Most days, I feel like we are a “tag-team chauffeuring” service, yet I wouldn’t have our life any other way. Not only I am a business/technology teacher at Milford, I am also the district technology integration specialist. I love teaching because I get the opportunity to make those around me better. My hope is that, through my blogging, I am able to inspire, encourage, and share with you my adventures of being a wife, mother, and professional.

You may also like

Older Siblings: I Hate You, Will You Be My Best Friend?

Older Siblings: I Hate You, Will You Be My Best Friend?

by | Aug 19, 2019 | K-12

I have a brother, Matt, who is four years older than me. I am the baby of the family and I call him “the prodigal son.” Needless to say, growing up with Matt wasn’t always the best of times. He was the mean, older brother who chased me around the house with a hammer. He called me names, made fun of me and brought me to tears on several occasions. Our childhood relationship was not what I would call a friendship.

It wasn’t until he went off to the military and I started high school that I realized I needed him in my life. It took him leaving for basic training, then fighting in two wars for me to understand that we both needed to grow up and see what we have and what we were missing out on. Now, I can’t imagine my life without him and I consider him a friend!

Will My Kids Turn Out The Same?

Fast-forward a couple years, I find out I am pregnant with a boy—I cried. I didn’t want my nonexistent second child to grow up resenting their older brother like I did! Sure, I knew one day my children would have several fights, many arguments and words would be thrown around that they didn’t mean, but I never wanted them to regret their relationship with each other.

Cohen and Collyns are three years apart and Collyns worships her older brother! And boy am I glad that he is her world. She looks up to him and will do whatever he asks/tells her to do. I believe there are different levels to every brother and sister relationship. I think every relationship evolves over time and changes throughout a lifetime.

Helping Our Oldest Be a Better Big Sibling

I question if every parent should teach their older son or daughter how to be a good sibling. As the oldest, Cohen’s job is to mold the mind of his younger sister, to help her reach her maximum potential and be almost as awesome as he is! My husband being the oldest in his family, with two younger sisters and myself being the baby, decided we needed to offer some suggestions to Cohen to help him be the best big brother.

1. Know when to help each other cheat. When someone accidentally spills food on the floor, don’t rat each other out, help clean up.

2. Play together, but know when you need space. This is self-explanatory. Forts in the basement built with blankets are the first step to building lifelong bonds. But it’s not necessary for you to play babies and Barbies 24/7.

3. Look out for each other. When you see her doing something you know isn’t right, try to fix it before she gets into trouble. One day you’ll need her to have your back.

4. Let her imitate. We know it drives you crazy when Collyns repeats everything you say, imitates your gestures and your tone of voice, but know that she is imitating you because she wants to be you. It’s your job to set a good example.

Seeing How Deep Their Bond Goes

Even though some days Cohen says, “I hate having a sister” but in the same breath, “will you be my best friend?”, deep down I know Cohen actually likes her. I didn’t realize their bond until she started kindergarten. At the open house he took her hand and showed her her classroom, explained to her how the lunchroom worked, planned their walk to after-school daycare and got her excited to go to a new school. He could tell she was nervous and he tried to ease her nerves. He is protective and helpful when it comes to his little sister.

Even though it took my brother and I more than 15 years to realize how strong and great it is to have a sibling, I wouldn’t change our bond. He has my back and he always did; I just didn’t realize it at the time. I am so glad Collyns has a big brother and that Cohen is her best friend. I hope their bond continues to strengthen over the years.

Mallory Connelly

Mallory Connelly

Babies & Toddlers

In addition to the time I devote to being a mom, I also work full-time outside the home, which means my day is hardly ever as simple as nine to five. With an all-too-established schedule, as soon as I walk through the door, my day doesn’t end, but rather just begins. It’s a balancing act, especially with two children, but being a mom is one full-time job that I never want to quit!

You may also like

Hugh Jackman, #WearSunscreen & Your Family: What Do You Need to Know?

Hugh Jackman, #WearSunscreen & Your Family: What Do You Need to Know?

by | Aug 12, 2019 | Expert Health Tips

My husband and I have four children, all ages six and younger (that’s what happens when you go to medical school). Right now, their favorite movie is “The Greatest Showman” starring Hugh Jackman. He is famous in the entertainment industry for his singing, dancing and acting abilities, along with his devilishly handsome good looks.

However, he’s also famous in the dermatology world as he has publicly battled basal cell carcinoma not once, but five times in the past including a recurrent basal cell carcinoma on his nose. Hugh posted pictures on Instagram with the hashtag #wearsunscreen to help raise public awareness and encourage good sun protection behavior.

Most Common Type of Skin Cancer

Basal cell carcinoma is the most common form of skin cancer. In fact, it’s the most common cancer overall. It develops after repeated sun damage over time. You might notice it as a pink scaly patch. Or, it might be a raised pearly bump, almost pimple-like that never seems to go away. Sometimes basal cell carcinoma will bleed after minor trauma or for no reason at all.

Second Most Common Skin Cancer

Are there other types of skin cancer? You bet! The second most common form of skin cancer is squamous cell carcinoma. This type of skin cancer may appear as a growing lump, often with a rough surface. But, it also could be a flat, reddish patch that grows slowly and may be tender. Sometimes these grow quickly on the skin in a volcano-like fashion. Squamous cell carcinoma can be serious in some cases and spread beyond the skin to lymph nodes if not treated properly or within a reasonable amount of time.

Most Well-Known Skin Cancer

Finally, the skin cancer with which most people are familiar, is melanoma. Melanoma can be a life-threatening skin cancer, especially if not caught early. The warning signs for melanoma are summed up in the “ABCDE” algorithm.

  • A = asymmetry (one half doesn’t look like the other)
  • B = border (irregular, ill-defined or funny-looking shape)
  • C = color (one spot that has multiple colors within it, such as different shades of brown or black. Red, white or blue colors are occasionally seen in melanoma)
  • D = diameter (a majority of melanomas are greater than 6mm when diagnosed, which is the size of a pencil eraser; however this doesn’t mean that smaller spots aren’t worrisome)
  • E = evolving (a mole that is changing in size, shape or color)

Ways to Protect Yourself and Your Family

So, what can you do to reduce your risk for skin cancer? Protect yourself! Make sun protection a priority, not only for yourself but for your family. If you have children, make it your goal to not let them burn. Like never. Never ever.

Here are some tips I use with my own family:

  • Everyone needs sunscreen when outside. This includes just playing outside, going to the pool, going on walks, whatever it may be. The two types of sunscreen available are:
    • Chemical sunscreens: (the active ingredients are long words that are hard to pronounce, such as oxybenzone)
    • Physical sunscreens: (the active ingredients are zinc and/or titanium, easy to pronounce)

I prefer zinc/titanium-based sunscreens because they stay on better, cause less skin sensitivity issues and are better at preventing sunburn in my opinion. Examples of this type of sunscreen include Neutrogena Sheer Zinc SPF 50 or CeraVe Hydrating Sunscreen SPF 50. Overall, any sunscreen is better than none. And don’t forget, it needs to be reapplied every 2-3 hours.

  • Make hats your friend. Put them by the door you use most often to go outside. Put one in your car. I don’t know HOW many times a patient has told me, “I didn’t plan on being outside that long!” Never travel without a hat!
  • Buy rash guard swim shirts or other sun protective clothing for yourself and your family. Yep, I make my kids wear long-sleeve swim shirts to the pool. Sorry kids, but you’ll thank me later. SPF 50+ clothing is available for swimmers, golfers, fishermen, etc., at local stores such as Scheels but also on well-known websites such as www.coolibar.com. Trust me, it’s worth the money to invest in good sun-protective clothing.
  • Put on a layer of sunscreen to your face and neck every morning. Use it before applying makeup. There are some really nice, light sunscreens available over the counter. My most recent favorites for this purpose are Neutrogena Sensitive Skin Face Liquid Sunscreen SPF 50 or La Roche-Posay Anthelios Ultra-Light Tinted Mineral Sunscreen SPF 50.
  • Finally, come see me! If you are worried, questioning a spot on your skin or just want a once-over, you should visit me at South Lincoln Dermatology or see a board-certified dermatologist in your area.
Gina Weir, MD

Gina Weir, MD

Dr. Weir is a dermatologist with South Lincoln Dermatology.

2625 Stockwell
Lincoln, NE 68502

402-421-3335

You may also like

Life Is Full of Puzzles

Life Is Full of Puzzles

by | Aug 5, 2019 | Grandparents

The other week I went to Omaha to visit my sister, her husband and our foreign exchange student visiting from Norway. Bjorg stayed with us during the ’62-’63 school year. Although we’ve seen each other about every seven years, all of us understand those transatlantic trips get more difficult with age and our visits may be numbered. We made the most of every minute we were together. During the week, we went to the Henry Doorly Zoo, Lauritzen Gardens, Old Market, Joslyn Art Museum and more. Each site was special and we loved the time to explore and get reacquainted with each other and the venue.

Visiting the Joslyn Museum was an especially fun day. The four “grandparents” were joined by my sister’s daughter and her three children, as well as her daughter-in-law and her two daughters. Even though all of my sister’s grandkids live in Omaha, I don’t get a chance to see them very often. They are all incredibly active in sports, cheerleading and work—not much different from my own grandkids. I thought about it and realized I really only see my sister’s grandkids on holidays and for a few birthdays. So I was determined to make this Joslyn visit count as a time to remind them who Grandma Nancy is.

Piecing Together Time with Everyone

Where are they? It was as though the adopted grandkids were always one step ahead of me throughout the entire museum. I did catch site of the two girls entranced with Degas’ Little Dancer, but by the time we came to the piece, the girls vanished. I realized my time with Bjorg was more important, so I stopped stalking them.

The grandmas and grandpa finally caught up with the grandkids in the museum gift shop. My sister and Bjorg found the jewelry counter, my brother-in-law stayed out of the shop completely, and I was enthralled with the toys, especially a wooden puzzle. It appeared to look like a mini two-dimensional Rubik’s Cube. The girls came up behind me staring at the puzzle I was trying to complete. We knew what the puzzle should look like when completed: 12 mini cubes arranged in a 3 x 4 shape. We also knew the “try me” sample I held in my hand was in a straight line. They looked at me and challenged me to put the straight line form into the 3 x 4 completed shape.

diffiuclt multicolored puzzle

Try, Try, Try Again

I tried. I tried again, and again. What was I missing? I handed it to one of the girls. She looked at it for three seconds and completed the puzzle. She handed it over to me with this smug look on her face. I undid the puzzle and gave it to her younger sister, thinking surely this little girl wouldn’t be able to complete the task. She, like her sister, took a moment to look at the pieces, then quickly completed the task. I gasped and grabbed each girl, hugging them until they giggled with glee. They laughed hysterically at Grandma Nancy. Their laughter increased when they again challenged me to complete the puzzle. Nope, I couldn’t do it.

At the end of our visit when we were saying our goodbyes, the girls surprised me with a gift of the wooden puzzle. They said they wanted me to have it so I could practice putting it together; we had another good laugh.

Not All of Life’s Puzzles Are So Simple

When I got back to Lincoln, I looked at the puzzle in its neat 3 x 4 rectangle. How could this silly thing be so hard? I refused to touch it for a day. But the next day, I was determined to figure it out. As I began rearranging the pieces, I noticed how it was put together. How the pieces were notched and how they were held together. Oh, it now made sense. I then remembered how each girl took time to analyze the situation prior to jumping in to complete the puzzle like I had done—lesson learned.

I also noticed the puzzle’s recommended age, 3+. Was this a test of a senior citizen’s brain versus a young brain? It certainly was a good reminder for me to analyze a situation or puzzle before attempting to solve it. I also give credit to educators for not just teaching kids what to learn, but more importantly, how to learn. I am thankful I can continue to learn from all of my grandkids. Maybe Grandma Nancy should go back to school!

Nancy Becker

Nancy Becker

Grandkids & Grandparents

I have four grandchildren ages 14-17. In some ways, I’m a very typical grandma, always proud of everything the kids do and wanting to help support them in whatever way I can. In other ways, I’m not very typical. My goal as a blogger is to share my thoughts and experiences that I think are funny and meaningful as I adventure through grandmahood.

You may also like

Seeing a Father’s Love For His Daughter

Seeing a Father’s Love For His Daughter

by | Jul 29, 2019 | K-12

As I was watching my husband take our daughter’s senior pictures, I realized I am at a crossroads of jealousy and admiration. Jealous of the bond between my husband and our oldest daughter. He witnessed every first in her life: the first time she rolled over, her first word, her first step, her first day in daycare, her first elementary field trip, her first homecoming dance.

Our daughter wants to travel with her dad. She looks for him to get a hug after every softball game. She chooses me when she needs to shop or has forgotten something. She doesn’t even like me going to physical therapy because I talk too much.

He’s Always There for Her

Yet I admire the bond because it’s nothing unique or extraordinary. He has just showed up. He showed up when I returned to work after maternity leave. He showed up when she was a terrible sleeper and would only sleep when he rocked her in her car seat for hours upon hours. He showed up when she wanted to refurbish an old piano bench. He showed up when she wanted to play softball and the team needed a coach. He showed up when she needed a shoulder to cry on after she did terrible on a test. He shows up when our daughter is approaching curfew to make sure she is home safe and sound.

Just by showing up he has taught her many life lessons. What I have noticed the most are the lessons to love, to be adventurous and to radiate confidence.

He’s an Incredible Model of Support

We all see how my husband has modeled love to his family and his profession. He does not miss any of our children’s events. Even when he cannot physically be there, he shows up virtually and sends text messages before and after to show his support. Our daughter sees the value and the importance of showing up, as she has commented: “I don’t want to miss anything of my kids’, just like you, Mom and Dad.”

“Go on the adventure. Try it. Let’s do this.” From $100 adventure days to trying new foods to traveling, my husband has instilled a sense of adventure in our daughter. It’s both of them that now drive our family’s traveling experiences. Even when my husband takes her up a 700-foot tower just to see the views or try Pickled Wrinkles, he is encouraging her to appreciate life beyond our little town. I pray no one ever takes away the sense of wonder, the sense of curiosity and the sense of adventure he has taught her.

He’s Helped Bolster Her Confidence

Even though our daughter does not have the confidence to decide where or what she wants to eat, that is completely overshadowed by the confidence she radiates in other circumstances. When our daughter wanted to learn how to play softball, my husband was there to play catch with her each day and to coach her. Now when she steps in the batter’s box or centerfield, you can see the confidence in her eyes. When she wanted to learn about photography, he spent hours helping her develop this skill. Now when she is behind the lens, you can see her smiles knowing she just took the perfect picture.

He is always there. Always. He is determined to not miss anything as she begins the last of all of her high school activities: the last softball game, the last One-Act performance, the last track meet and the last time she walks down the senior hall. As our daughter walks across the stage to receive her diploma, I am sure there will be a hug and a tear shed between dad and daughter. I am sure at that moment I will have a few tears. However, those tears will be of joy and admiration, as I have had a front row seat watching the bond of a father and daughter grow, just because her father showed up.

Shelly Mowinkel

Shelly Mowinkel

K-12 & Teens

My husband and I have three kids. Our oldest is a freshman in high school, and our youngest is in second grade. Most days, I feel like we are a “tag-team chauffeuring” service, yet I wouldn’t have our life any other way. Not only I am a business/technology teacher at Milford, I am also the district technology integration specialist. I love teaching because I get the opportunity to make those around me better. My hope is that, through my blogging, I am able to inspire, encourage, and share with you my adventures of being a wife, mother, and professional.

You may also like

Pin It on Pinterest