A couple of weeks ago, we traveled to Denver, Colorado. Other than visiting grandkids in Kansas City, we have stuck close to home. Whether our concern was because of COVID-19 or not wanting to spend too much money, I don’t know, but that was our decision. We probably would have continued to stay put forever had it not been for our granddaughter playing volleyball for Butler University in Indianapolis. A couple of weeks ago, the Butler Bulldogs played in a tournament at Denver University in Denver. We decided to make the trip to be able to see her play in person.

We had so much fun seeing her play and cheering her on. Woof Woof!! They are the Bulldogs and that is the parent cheer! I’ll do anything to fit in. She’s having a great time playing and studying in a brand new environment. She feels very lucky, and she’s happy! Bonus.

• “Good Enough” Parenting: Perfection Not Required

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Spending Time in Colorado

We’ll take any excuse to connect with them and find out what each of them is doing. I took pictures of her playing with my phone and I sent them to all of the grandkids. I also decided to send postcards so they can get a surprise in their mailbox, which they assure me makes them smile. I went to Colorado prepared for the postal communication with those very important postcard stamps. The problem was I couldn’t find any postcards at Denver University. Zero. That was OK as we were extending our trip from Denver to see the mountains for a few days.

We stopped in Breckenridge and explored the main street. Tourists were back exploring the many tourist stores. I knew I would find postcards in multiple places. I was thinking a postcard with a bear on it or a picture of a major hiking trail. What the heck? I couldn’t find any postcards at the usual locations. I walked up and down the Breckenridge strip. Yes, I visited all the stores on the main drag.

Nothing. Not one postcard.

Why are there No Postcards?

I remember the good old days when postcards were even displayed outside the store with these scenic pictures luring others to visit a specific site. I remember pictures of historically significant museums and historical sites. But what? Nothing? No postcards in Breckenridge, CO?

OK, I get it, I’m old-fashioned which is appropriate as I’m officially old. I get the vast changes in how we communicate. I can, and do, pick up my cell phone to take pictures and send them to all family members in a matter of seconds. OK, almost. Full disclosure, I can send one picture at a time, not multiple pictures. I somehow think my taking the time to write a personal note is meaningful to them. I also need to be realistic and recognize not all people are as excited to receive a note, or a written thank you from someone near and dear to your heart.

I put a great deal of thought into my postcard dilemma and have come to a couple of conclusions. I will continue to look for postcards of locations and meaningful times where I can share my thoughts, my experiences and journeys with those I love. I will also continue to write notes to the grandkids where I share those same thoughts, without pictures. The cards show my handwriting and I pray the grandkids can still read my cursive, which I don’t think they learn at Lincoln Public Schools anymore. Once again cell phone texting wins the race .

When I asked the grandkids what they thought about my mailing them a card once a week. They all answered, how much they appreciate the notes I send them. I think they appreciate getting something in their mailboxes that isn’t a bill. Also, I frequently include a $20 bill. It can’t hurt!! Thank goodness the grandkids do not request Venmo and still like cash. Because they know they’d never see any money out of my nonexistent Venmo account. Life’s journeys just keep moving forward, postcards or no postcards. Grandmas or no grandmas. OK, we’ll make sure Grandmas will always be there!!

My husband, John, and I read the paper online every day. It’s not a perfect method as it adds more screen time for each of us and we actually prefer holding a paper in our hands. Print media is fondly remembered, but the online option was a decision we made and we’ve adjusted to the change.

On May 25, 2022, I read a local view on the opinion page entitled, Who do we want to keep? The opinion piece was written by a retired mother who lives in Lincoln and her daughter who now works and lives in Colorado. The premise was how some state officials are proposing keeping young professionals in Lincoln, since so many are leaving Nebraska. I thought it was a well-written piece and it made me think. Those pieces are worth my time and effort to read and digest. A couple of days later, I looked at the comments posted online referring to the article. Wow! I read some very differing views of the article. I was surprised about the varying degrees of responses until John informed me all opinion pieces are either loved or hated and readers love to share their two cents about the previous comment. Our divisions in this country don’t allow for much middle ground to allow compromise.

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Talking to my Grandkids About Their Plans

Back to me thinking about the article part. After graduating from college, one of our daughters lived in Kansas and the other in Colorado. I truly put pressure on them to return to Nebraska because of my belief in the LPS school system. I truly believed, and still believe, Lincoln has an outstanding school system and I wanted to make sure the education of my grandchildren was the best it could be. Eventually, both daughters and their families made their way back to Lincoln. Three of our four grandchildren left Nebraska to attend schools in other states. Our fourth grandchild is going to school in Nebraska. The opinion piece made me wonder if the three granddaughters might someday return to Nebraska.

Their responses were varied and interesting but they all agreed they would probably not return to Nebraska to live. I asked them why. All three of the girls indicated they liked the opportunities and experiences they have had in the big city. They loved the diversity they experienced in college with foreign students and individuals who didn’t look like themselves. Each granddaughter individually stated they loved having people they knew really listen to their thoughts and dreams. They didn’t always agree with each other, but there was respect. Each granddaughter expressed the opportunity to learn about other cultures and shared fun experiences about trips to different areas of their respective communities, cultural events, markets and churches. Lastly, they felt they were truly accepted by others in their communities.

I told them their comments were well thought out, but I couldn’t imagine everything was perfect and every day was a kumbaya celebration. They laughed and agreed each of their lives wasn’t perfect, but for the most part they were all happy and wouldn’t change a thing.

Bringing Nebraska to Them

It’s important to note, each of our granddaughters are new to their real working world, living in apartments and enjoying their lives. Their opinions may change once they look for homes and begin contemplating their futures. Certainly marriage, children and working opportunities will all play a role in their decisions. However, when older generations, trying vainly to hold onto power, make decisions for, instead of with younger generations the prospects on attracting and retaining the next, young future Nebraskans, does not appear to be promising.

I told my grandkids if they choose not to return to Nebraska to live, I’ll bring Nebraska to them and split my time between here and whichever state they decide to live in. I’ll bring Nebraska to them!

Every day, for over a month, I have been anxious to get more information about the war in Ukraine. Every day provides a change in the situation as Russia continues to cause uncertainty in Ukraine and around the world. Some news broadcasters believe the Russian aggression against their neighbors will continue to spread until Russia takes over the land they possessed before the USSR fell apart. While not all United States citizens are on the same page, it is the most unifying event we’ve had in years. As usual, I wondered where my grandchildren were in their understanding and support of Ukraine. I need to keep reminding myself, they are not retired and have school and work to occupy their minds. Here are a couple of their questions and a summary of our shared thoughts.

Asking Questions about Ukraine

“Can Putin just do this and get away with it?” My granddaughter isn’t the only one asking this question. Everyone around the world has a similar question. Putin’s bully behavior is nothing new, but it is getting us closer to another world war. Our discussion about another world war made them think about the Nazis. When they were in high school, WWII was studied but they never had a reason to make connections to events that were happening in their lives, in real-time. The comparison of Putin’s actions in Ukraine and his threat of nuclear bombs gave them pause.

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Another question thrown to the group was, “How is this affecting us?” One grandkid quickly responded with, “When was the last time you filled your car up with gas?” We all giggled a little, but soon realized the connectedness of the world in which we live. My grandson is studying business and commented how all the stock markets around the world have plunged.

A granddaughter commented on the amount of humanitarian aid countries from all over the world are offering to Ukraine. “The aid is amazing and I’m sure greatly appreciated, but I wonder if, in the grand scale, it will be enough.” They wondered how they could help. They are all strapped for money so giving a monetary amount is not an option. I asked if there were any rallies, marches or prayer vigils they could lend their voices to. They agreed to look into it. I also reminded them to be welcoming to refugees, all refugees. My comment was followed with a, “Duh, grandma!!” Yep, my bad.

Staying Connected in Uncertain Times

I brought our conversation to a close with my most recent contact with a refugee from Ukraine. After I retired from education, I keep in contact with school kids by volunteering my time to TeamMates and the North Star ELL programs. It was pre-pandemic when I was linked with a North Star freshman who had arrived from Ukraine one week earlier. It was my charge to assist her in adapting to conversational English. Yullia could not speak a word of English and I, obviously could not speak Ukrainian. Soon, I realized we were teaching each other many things. We would walk around the building. I would point at an object (i.e., door) say the word, and Yuliia would translate it into Ukrainian on the app on her phone. We spent the entire year learning together and by its end, Yuliia no longer needed my assistance. She was amazing.

Telling the grandkids this story brought back many wonderful memories. I reminded all four of them there are many ways to connect with people and events around the world, but most importantly, they need to keep connected with me!