Seamstress Not for Hire

Seamstress Not for Hire

by | Mar 14, 2022 | Grandparents

There was a time when I could sew. There was a time when my sewing machine worked and not in need of repairs. There was a time when I had timeā€¦. No wait, Iā€™m retired and have all the time in the world. I remember making our daughters clothes from actual patterns. I also made the granddaughters some clothes, but mostly costumes for the 4th grade trip to the one-room schoolhouse, or for Halloween trick and treating. Iā€™m guessing I needed a project away from my daily education routine. I do know things have changed and I can barely see well enough to thread a needle.

Hemming My Grandaughter’s Dress

In the winter of 2021, my middle granddaughter wanted me to shorten a long formal she had worn in high school. She thought it was still cute and could possibly wear it in college. No problem. When she brought it over, the skirt of the dress was made of two types of tulle. Hemming the dress would be difficult as the material was so fine. Heck, the dress didnā€™t even have a hem. So together, we decided to cut it. She tried it on, I measured it in the front and we were confident we could do it. A makeover.

We cut the dress very slowly, as the material was difficult to cut even with a roller blade, but we were successful. When we finished, she tried on the dress. Looking at her when she made her way into the kitchen, I thought wow, we did a great job. Then she turned around. What the heck? I could see her underpants. We were so careful with our measurements, I couldnā€™t figure out what had gone wrong. Then I realized I had forgotten to take into account her little fanny. Even though itā€™s a little one, it no longer looked so little. The back of the dress went up at least two inches and was something she could wear if she worked at a naughty bar.

Seamstress No Longer for Hire

Last week, almost on the anniversary of my last sewing escapade, my youngest granddaughter asked if I would shorten the straps on her floor-length fancy dress. Thinking they would be small spaghetti straps, I quickly agreed, Iā€™ve got this! Bring it on!! No such luck. The straps were not the thin strands of spaghetti, but they werenā€™t terrible. I would have to take a bit of care with the shortening them but I was confident.

Finding the right color of thread was my first hurdle. The dress was a green color, but not a normal green. I went to three different fabric stores before I found a match. Then, the straps had ruffles on the outer edge. How was I going to figure that out? I asked a friend for advice and I soon had a strategy.

I did need assistance from my husband to thread the needle and I was ready to go. And my sewing project was complete. Whew! Our youngest granddaughter hasnā€™t been home to try it on yet, but I believe shortening of the straps will work out. The only reason it wouldnā€™t meet her approval is if she grows two inches taller in the past three weeks.

Iā€™m taking down my shingle for any major ā€œsewingā€ tasks, but will continue to shorten straps. With these Grandma hands, they are no longer for hire.

Nancy Becker

Nancy Becker

Grandkids & Grandparents

IĀ have four grandchildren ages 14-17. In some ways, Iā€™m a very typical grandma, always proud of everything the kids do and wanting to help support them in whatever way I can.Ā In other ways, Iā€™m not very typical. My goal as a blogger is to share my thoughts and experiences that I think are funny and meaningful as I adventure through grandmahood.

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My Child’s Friend

My Child’s Friend

by | Feb 28, 2022 | K-12

If it hasnā€™t happened already, it probably will at some point: the moment you donā€™t like one of your childā€™s friends. What do you do?

I remember when I was growing up and my mom didnā€™t love me spending time with one of the girls in our neighborhood. She didnā€™t forbid me from being with her but didnā€™t encourage our get-togethers, either.

Eventually, I realized this friend wasnā€™t the right fit for me for several reasons, and the relationship fizzled. Years later, I wondered: How did my mom know?

Questioning Friendships

Recently, my son had a friend over. This friend was not very nice to my daughter and his attitude towards me made me question my feelings towards him. Granted it was a mild irritation. I found this friend annoying because heā€™s loud, destructive and the fact that heā€™s obviously never been taught to say please or thank you. It also made me worry that this friend may be a bad influence on Cohen.

A friend of mine recently said, ā€œAs long as my kids live in my house, I choose their friends.ā€ And I donā€™t disagree. What Iā€™m saying is this: There are a couple of things that a parent should and shouldnā€™t do when it comes to a childā€™s friends.

I choose not to verbally tell Cohen my feelings about his friend. I did not forbid him from hanging out with that friend. If I would say this out loud, Cohen is likely to blab, announcing publicly, ā€œMy parents say Iā€™m not allowed to play with you!ā€ This would make me seem mean and could cause conflict with the other childā€™s parents. Itā€™s also possible that forbidding the friendship could make that friend seem more attractive to Cohen.

Forbidding Cohen seems a little bit overstepping. Unless he is in immediate, physical danger, trying to dictate who he can or canā€™t be friends with strips him of an important piece of autonomy (whatā€™s more personal than our relationships?) and gets in the way of him learning to navigate the social world. If Cohen continues the friendship, even without my support, it creates a rift between us.

So, I decided that I needed to get to know the other child better and figure out what Cohen finds appealing about this friend. Most people have some likable qualities and discovering these might help me put my irritations in perspective. I try to keep in mind that children are constantly growing and changing, so the behaviors that annoyed me before may fade away as the friend matures.

Modeling Good Social Skills

Cohen doesnā€™t have a lot of close friends at his school, maybe just a handful. So, Iā€™ve found that laying compliments on thick for my sonā€™s friends who are well-mannered, responsible and kind, tends to be a successful tactic. This is part of those subliminal messages Iā€™m sending to his brain, so heā€™ll start to feel that emotional reward deep inside his brain when heā€™s hanging around the ā€œgoodā€ kids (the ones I like) and will eventually – God-willing – start to be turned off by the other kids. Instead of discouraging playdates with the kid I donā€™t like, I went out of my way to set up playdates with his friends that I do like. The goal here is to help Cohen nourish those positive friendships.

You donā€™t necessarily have to love everyone who your child chooses to befriend, but by being a gracious host, you support your child and model good social skills. A side benefit is that you can keep an eye on things if you have concerns about the friendā€™s behavior. For example, if things start to get heated, you can diffuse tensions by asking, ā€œWho wants a snack?ā€ or ā€œHow about going outside?ā€

If thereā€™s something that the other child does that annoys you, it may help to explain your rules. Different families have different ways of doing things, and itā€™s not fair to be angry at a child for failing to respect your rules when you havenā€™t said anything, so he doesnā€™t even know what those rules are. Fuming silently will cause your resentment to build and wonā€™t change what the child does.

Listening To Your Gut

Lastly, I listen to my kids and my gut. I ask questions about their friends. Moms can pick up on the very slightest detail being off if weā€™ll just listen. Cohen is such a sweetheart and has a good head on his shoulders, he needs to discover what friends work in his life. However, I set boundaries at our home to keep him safe, until heā€™s mature enough to loosen the reigns a bit and to make sure heā€™s showing kindness. He is smart enough to know that this friend has good qualities and bad qualities and likely knows better than to let those bad qualities rub off on him.

Ultimately, my goal is for my kids to make wise choices in their friendships.

Mallory Connelly

Mallory Connelly

Babies & Toddlers

In addition to the time I devote to being a mom, I also work full-time outside the home, which means my day is hardly ever as simple as nine to five. With an all-too-established schedule, as soon as I walk through the door, my day doesnā€™t end, but rather just begins. Itā€™s a balancing act, especially with two children, but being a mom is one full-time job that I never want to quit!

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Thursdays with My Grandson

Thursdays with My Grandson

by | Feb 14, 2022 | Grandparents

Iā€™ve always enjoyed the playdates I had with my grandkids when they were young. Those were the good old days when they had time to come over to our house and play. We did artwork with the help of Michaelā€™s art store. The theme of most creative pieces centered around the next holiday. I never knew how long the artwork lasted once the kids took them home. It didnā€™t really matter, as the purpose of our playdates were to play and be with each other. We loved getting together in the warm months swimming or hiking in Wilderness Park. Boo at the Zoo was always a winning event, one I still enjoy. Then there were the hours spent at our farm, no matter what the season. Scoping out frogs in the pond, driving the 4-wheeler and sledding were huge hits. Making s’mores around the little fire was always a hit. What could be better than marshmallows and chocolate? Now that I think about all those memories, maybe the playtime was more for my benefit than theirs. I wonder.

Staying Connected As My Grandkids Get Older

Right now, my grandson is the only one of my grandkids still living in Lincoln. My granddaughters are still in regular contact with me, and Iā€™m glad Zoom and FaceTime are pieces of technology I understand. Iā€™m appreciative they all are willing to participate in our frequent ā€œgatherings”. Actually, I probably ā€œseeā€ them more now than when they were in high school.

Iā€™ve learned playdates to swim or go to the movies are no longer on our list of things to do together. I have learned to adjust and still get my time with him. That statement sounds a little selfish, and yes, Iā€™m guilty. The selfishness is selfishly aligned with the need to get help from him. Iā€™ve found I need more help around the house, the yard and at the farm. Having help with moving big pieces of furniture, climbing ladders, etc. has been a big help to us! With my grandsonā€™s work schedule and school schedule, he doesnā€™t have a lot of time, but weā€™ve discovered early Thursday afternoons work for both of us.

Grandson Thursdays

This week was no exception in my need for assistance. I have a new used car which we purchased from my husbandā€™s sister. Itā€™s a great small SUV with many bells and whistles but limited instructions. Or, I should say, limited instructions that I can understand. I had previously made a list of my new, used auto needs – syncing my phone to the car, identifying my favorite contacts, setting my radio stations, opening the back hatch with my foot, just to name a few. When I gave my grandson my list, he first gave me a questioning look, which reminded me of a kid saying to the old grandma, ā€œYou really donā€™t know how to do this?ā€ Or ā€œYouā€™ve got to be kidding me.ā€ He quickly adjusted his look and just smiled saying, ā€œLetā€™s get started.ā€

I was in awe of his ability to navigate the instructions and prompts the car gave him. I kept asking him, how did you do that? He just smiled and slowly talked me through each of the steps. I discovered he is not only strong but smart with technology. He was not afraid to explore the dashboard screens, understood the language and enjoyed helping me.

I value my Grandson Thursdays and look forward to seeing him each week. One last thing, I do bribe him by sending him home with all of our leftovers from the week. Maybe thatā€™s why he is so eager to help me during my selfish times of need.

Maybe I should have called this Blog, A Grandsonā€™s Thursdays with the Old Lady Who Gives Me Food.

Nancy Becker

Nancy Becker

Grandkids & Grandparents

IĀ have four grandchildren ages 14-17. In some ways, Iā€™m a very typical grandma, always proud of everything the kids do and wanting to help support them in whatever way I can.Ā In other ways, Iā€™m not very typical. My goal as a blogger is to share my thoughts and experiences that I think are funny and meaningful as I adventure through grandmahood.

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Is She Trying?

Is She Trying?

by | Jan 31, 2022 | K-12

School is supposed to be a fun time where children learn new and exciting things about themselves and the world around them. But sometimes children can lack motivation in school and not give it their best effort. As parents, all we want is to see our children succeed in life and that starts with school.

2 – Approaches district expectations.

Thatā€™s what I saw on most of my daughterā€™s report card. But this wasnā€™t a surprise. At parent/teacher conferences, I knew she was struggling. When I met with her 2nd grade teacher, we talked about a plan and identified the areas where she was not applying herself.

So, I wonder, is she trying? Does she care?

Setting Achievable Goals

Do you remember when you were in school, how overwhelmed you would feel with a big project or test? Maybe Collyns might be feeling too overwhelmed to do any schoolwork. So, we decided to help her by setting achievable goals that she can hit. Breaking something big into smaller milestones is a tool she has enjoyed and will use her whole life. Smaller goals make her feel accomplished and inspire her to continue working to keep this feeling up.

We started small. We decided she needed extra help in reading. She now works with a para and has a fluency folder – which is a 1-minute read at home every night, over the course of the week. She gets books from the library that she seems to enjoy reading. But to be truthful, she still hates it. She also has a hard time with reading comprehension. She tends to rush through her tests and guess on the questions rather than look for text evidence. She again despises these tests and wants them over with and so she doesnā€™t seem to care. During these tests, her teacher reminds her to slow down and focus and the task on hand.

Working Together at Home

At home, we also work on her spelling words. She likes using a dry-erase board to work on her list instead of pencil and paper. At night we work on 5 words from her 15-word list, so she isnā€™t overwhelmed with the entire list every night. Then the night before her test we work on the words she questioned during the week.

We continue to help her with math. Even though every night seems to be a fight she tries and eventually finishes the problems. She seems to understand the lesson that they are working on but must be reminded. Recently, I started to set a timer for 5 minutes. She must see how much math homework she can do correctly in the time. Most of the time she gets it done and looks at me and says, ā€œthat didnā€™t take as long as I thought it would.ā€ She continues to gain confidence in her work. If she is overwhelmed, we take a break. I donā€™t make her do all her work in one setting if she becomes frustrated.

How you represent school and learning in your house is how your child is going to view school overall. So, if you are yelling or disciplining your child for doing bad on a test or report card, they may start to resent school and stop trying!

Weā€™ve all done it. Used the threat of taking away something our child loves in order to try and motivate them. ā€˜If you donā€™t start doing your homework in the next 10 minutes, there will be no iPad after dinner.ā€™

I’ve learned that doesnā€™t help motivate Collyns. It makes her angrier. If she starts her homework with a bad attitude, it will take her twice as long and it will most likely end with me yelling and her in tears. She will continue to hate school and feel less confident and continue to not try either at home or in class.

Staying Positive

This is not how I want her to see school. Instead, I remind myself every night to remain positive, talk about what she is doing well and see why she thinks she is not doing well in other subjects. I try not to talk down to her, but instead be the positive force she needs in her life. Fingers crossed, some of these strategies will pay off for the spring semester.

Mallory Connelly

Mallory Connelly

Babies & Toddlers

In addition to the time I devote to being a mom, I also work full-time outside the home, which means my day is hardly ever as simple as nine to five. With an all-too-established schedule, as soon as I walk through the door, my day doesnā€™t end, but rather just begins. Itā€™s a balancing act, especially with two children, but being a mom is one full-time job that I never want to quit!

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From Generation to Generation

From Generation to Generation

by | Jan 17, 2022 | Grandparents

The Holiday season was a great one for our family. All the grandkids make it back to Lincoln. We were together for Christmas and the following week. We laughed, we talked about what was going on in our lives and they even had time to help me take down some of the decorations. They joked about some of our treasured tree decorations their moms made at our church Advent Party. As the grandkids were taking the tubs of decorations to our basement they decided they wanted to play pool. Itā€™s been a long time since theyā€™ve played but they were all anxious to see if their skills were any better. We divided into teams and the game was on.

We soon realized my grandson was a tad better than the rest of us. I couldnā€™t figure out why until he told us his friend has a pool table and he plays once a week. After that comment, we all wanted to be on his team. They are just competitive enough to keep it interesting.

My grandson noted our pool table was very old compared to his friendā€™s. I saw this as an excellent opportunity to share the story of our pool table.

Grandparents Generosity

My grandfather and grandmother lived on a farm outside of Crete and one year in the late ā€˜20s or early ā€˜30s, they were visited by a family from Illinois. During the visit, they had a car accident and their daughter was severely injured. I soon realized the grandkids hadnā€™t listened as intently to me as they were now since I read to them the story, Peter Rabbit. The visiting family had to return to their farm in Illinois, so they left their daughter with my Grandparents until she had recovered from her injuries and could manage the return trip home. My grandparents were very giving and were anxious to help out. After months of rest and rehabilitation, the family from Illinois returned to pick up their daughter. Much to my grandparents’ surprise, the family brought their old slate pool table with them, which they offered as payment for taking care of their daughter. Medicare should be this good!

My grandkids were enthralled with the story, so I continued. When my grandparents moved into Crete, they didnā€™t have room for it in their small home, so they gave the table to my parents. When my parents eventually moved into a senior living complex, our home was the only one big enough for the table so we were lucky enough to receive it.

Generations of Love

All four grandkids were amazed at the generosity of my grandparents, amazed at the age of the pool table and politely asked who would receive the pool table next. I laughed and said we werenā€™t ready to pass it on quite yet, but it would be something Iā€™d think about soon. We talked about the generations it was in our family. How each of those generations is kept firmly together because of one single act of kindness. Stories are many and they will continue with our family connections. We all agreed these family generational connections surround us, shelter us and uphold us each and every day. This conversation was the best Holiday gift ever, unwrapped and from the heart.

Nancy Becker

Nancy Becker

Grandkids & Grandparents

IĀ have four grandchildren ages 14-17. In some ways, Iā€™m a very typical grandma, always proud of everything the kids do and wanting to help support them in whatever way I can.Ā In other ways, Iā€™m not very typical. My goal as a blogger is to share my thoughts and experiences that I think are funny and meaningful as I adventure through grandmahood.

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Finding Joy in Cooking

Finding Joy in Cooking

by | Jan 10, 2022 | K-12

I find joy in many aspects of my life. However, at the beginning of December, I was DONE. I was done finding joy. The joy in cooking, that is. I LOATHE cooking. Who in the world should expect a healthy meal for lunch, supper and breakfast, anyways? I hate recipes that tell you what to do and then all of a sudden it burns. I hate searching Google or looking through Pinterest boards with perfectly made meals. Hereā€™s a thought, maybe I should start my own Pinterest board, ā€œThe Epic Recipe Failsā€ or ā€œThis Board of Really Cool Meals That Never Turn Out.ā€ All of this over a pan of burnt muffins. At that moment (which also includes many days) for me, there is no joy in cooking.

Cooking Failures

I have had a long line of baking and cooking failures. There is the squash soup, the black-looking potato soup, the evaporated beef (a.k.a. roast), and the infamous ā€œiPad brownieā€.

There is my friend who can just dump food and spices together and her meals turn out amazingly. And then there is my husbandā€™s secretary who can take any array of leftovers and create a delicious concoction. I have tried these cooking techniques but they don’t bode well for my family.

How many times could one person – namely me – possibly fail. There has to be a point where success shows up, to encourage me to keep trying. Just as Julia Child said, ā€œCooking is one failure after another, and thatā€™s how you finally learn.ā€

Finding Success in the Kitchen

I keep failing over and over. However, for some odd reason, my family likes healthy lunches and suppers and for that reason, I keep trying.

Over Christmas break, a successful evening in the kitchen finally happened. During the meal prep process, I was so excited about how well everything was going, I even set out our table with our best chinaware. I actually prepared a meal with all the food groups represented for our family. The best part of the evening was the rave reviews from my children and husband. The only complaint, I did not season the mashed potatoes with enough salt. I actually needed the success of this night to encourage me to keep getting back into the kitchen. A tiny amount of joy.

Fail over and over and at some point, success will happen.

Two days later, I went back to the kitchen to try creating another meal. My mind was filled with a little apprehension as I prepared a prime rib meal for the first time. I even set out our best chinaware again. Success happened again. As we gathered around the table, there were smiles and my heart was filled with a small amount of joy.

I will fail, fail again, and then will fail some more. However, at some point, there will be a tiny cooking success. And at this moment there is actually joy in cooking.

Shelly Mowinkel

Shelly Mowinkel

K-12 & Teens

My husband and I have three kids. Our oldest is a freshman in high school, and our youngest is in second grade. Most days, I feel like we are a ā€œtag-team chauffeuringā€ service, yet I wouldnā€™t have our life any other way. Not only I am a business/technology teacher at Milford, I am also the district technology integration specialist. I love teaching because I get the opportunity to make those around me better. My hope is that, through my blogging, I am able to inspire, encourage, and share with you my adventures of being a wife, mother, and professional.

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Looking at All Sides of an Issue

Looking at All Sides of an Issue

by | Dec 14, 2021 | Grandparents

I read the following the other day and I thought it made a great deal of sense as I wonder what my grandkids are thinking about todayā€™s world:

You can give them your love, but not your thoughts,

For they have their own thoughts.

-Kahil Gilbran

I donā€™t follow a prophetā€™s advice all the time, but I do try to keep an open mind. The 2020 election, the state and national political divisions, climate change, racial equality and womenā€™s rights are all issues where I hold strong feelings. As a public educator, it was always important not to share my thoughts about certain subjects without acknowledging all points of view. While teaching in the classroom or working with parents, teachers or community members, it could certainly be a challenge. Sometimes it was difficult for me to hold my tongue, but I did for the most part because it was my job. In our present political climate, things have changed and I wonder if I would have been as successful as I was in the good old days. This quote got me to thinking about my grandkids.

Recognizing My Beliefs are Not My Grandkids’ Beliefs

I have never been hesitant to talk to the grandkids about politics or the real world, but I never really felt like I had to visit with them about issues. Somehow I just assumed they held the same beliefs I did. Kind of like an inherited gene. My mantra has always been to let the grandkids determine for themselves where they stand on issues which are important to them. They will sometimes ask me about a protest sign they see in my garage or pictures of me participating in a march. When they were much younger, they would always join me in the MLK march from the NU Union to the Capital. Or more recently a couple of the granddaughters marched with me voicing our beliefs on womenā€™s rights.

Over the past four years, things have changed. I started seeing how the political division is tearing some families apart and I got a little concerned. I didnā€™t think our family would have problems, but on the other hand, I didnā€™t really know.

Where We Stood on Current Events

A couple of weeks ago, my grandson asked me my opinion of the Kyle Rittenhouse trial. Wow! A question that wasnā€™t related to sports? I was excited to discuss it with him but also knew not to tread too heavily with my thoughts without knowing where this conversation could lead. I told him I was disappointed with the verdict and stopped there and waited and waited.

My grandson stated he agreed with me, but it was his understanding that Wisconsinā€™s laws may have been written in such a way that supported the final verdict.

The Rittenhouse discussion then lead to other important issues happening in the United States and the world. Heā€™s beginning to see how his income does not always meet his needs. I asked him for more information. Without giving me details of how much he earns, what his cost of living is, etc., he said itā€™s tough but he does have a budget he follows. He remarked at how someone can go into a pro sports program and make millions of dollars and be the same age. Our grandson, the quiet introvert, questioned the fairness of what the pro player was doing to benefit our society. Another great thought!

Looking at All Sides of an Issue

Thanks to LPS staff for training my grandkids and all students not to just read and listen to one source, but to look at all sides of an issue with multiple resources. Learning to talk civilly to each other, asking questions and sharing thoughts without getting upset is an essential skill. We can learn from each other! As one who is concerned about where we are going as a society, my grandson gives me hope and thoughts of pride!

Nancy Becker

Nancy Becker

Grandkids & Grandparents

IĀ have four grandchildren ages 14-17. In some ways, Iā€™m a very typical grandma, always proud of everything the kids do and wanting to help support them in whatever way I can.Ā In other ways, Iā€™m not very typical. My goal as a blogger is to share my thoughts and experiences that I think are funny and meaningful as I adventure through grandmahood.

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Continuing My Mom’s Tradition of Giving

Continuing My Mom’s Tradition of Giving

by | Dec 6, 2021 | K-12

Generosity. As defined by Merriam-Websterā€™s dictionary: characterized by a noble or kindly spirit; having an abundance.

As we begin this holiday season, this third season without my mom, I can feel the presence of my mom working through my hands and my heart.

Appreciating What My Mom Did for Us

Growing up, did my mom go overboard during the Christmas season? Absolutely. Did she go overboard with the gifts? Absolutely. Did she go overboard with food? Oh goodness, absolutely. Did she go overboard in the generosity department? Absolutely. And, this is why I am grateful. You see, I may not have appreciated my momā€™s gift prior to being an adult, but she was extremely generous with the giving of her time and quilting.

One Christmas mom quilted 13 quilts for every person in our family. The prior Christmas she created 11 different quilts for a family of 12. She also created one special quilt to be given to each aunt on my dadā€™s side for 11 consecutive years. Before her illness, she also found time to spend with her sisters and mom making quilts. Generosity in the purest form.

How Quilting Keeps Me Connected to My Mom

It took me well into my adult life to fully appreciate the detail, the time, and the love it took to make a single quilt. My mom tried to teach me multiple times to quiltā€¦I just did not have the patience. I did however become a pro at pressing material. Mom also sat down with both of our girls to teach them the basics of sewing.

Unbeknownst to us, this was all part of a bigger plan that would show up years later. I am far from being the master quilter, but I am trying. With the help of a dear friend, who loves to quilt and shows an exuberant amount of patience, I jumped the fear hurdle. I am not sure if it was the daunting idea of such a huge project, but I pulled out my momā€™s sewing machine and her material to make a quilt book for a little girl who is incredibly special to our family.

Making Quilts of My Own

Just as my mom gave of her time to make beautiful quilts, I know it is not about the quilt itself. I realize it is all about the quality time I am spending with my daughter and friend. It is about the imperfect sewing lines that make this project special. It is about the smile I envision on Nicklynā€™s face when she plays with her quiet book as I make each cut, sew each piece or even use the seam ripper. It is about the love in my hands and the joy in my heart, knowing I am creating something special, which is exactly what my mom did each new year.

Shelly Mowinkel

Shelly Mowinkel

K-12 & Teens

My husband and I have three kids. Our oldest is a freshman in high school, and our youngest is in second grade. Most days, I feel like we are a ā€œtag-team chauffeuringā€ service, yet I wouldnā€™t have our life any other way. Not only I am a business/technology teacher at Milford, I am also the district technology integration specialist. I love teaching because I get the opportunity to make those around me better. My hope is that, through my blogging, I am able to inspire, encourage, and share with you my adventures of being a wife, mother, and professional.

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Letā€™s Talk About Santa

Letā€™s Talk About Santa

by | Nov 22, 2021 | K-12

The holidays are fast approaching, and with them, a question that has haunted me each of the past few Christmases: Will this be the year my kids stop believing in Santa? If they ask, how do I tell them the truth? And how do I tell them the true meaning of Santa? The holidays are a magical time of year, but for parents, the Santa issue can pose a real dilemma.

The Questions Have Already Started

My son is 10 and in 5th grade. For the last two years, he has questioned the realness of Santa. And of course, there are those kids who try and spoil it for everyone and make him wonder. Even though I know itā€™s natural, Iā€™m not ready for my wide-eyed, innocent, trusting baby to be a logical, thoughtful, questioning human. I donā€™t want the days of his implicit trust in me to be a thing of the past.

I know the magic of being a kid can only last so long. But this year, I am trying to hold on for one more moment. But inevitably, I will have to tell him that Santa Claus is not really one single, human with a big belly, a white beard, flying reindeer, and an arsenal of magical tools without which Christmas would not happen. On the plus side, I might not have to do elf on a shelf anymore.

My son continues to ask me if Santa is real and my response, ā€œIf Santa werenā€™t real, who bought you these gifts?ā€ He never assumes itā€™s me because he thinks that Iā€™m cheap. Plus, he knows I would never create the mess the elves make so it canā€™t be mom or dad.

But this made me realize that maybe we shouldnā€™t be telling our kids about Santa from the beginning. If I could do it all over again, I would have been honest about Santa. It may sound strange, but I truly think itā€™s possible to believe in Santa without believing heā€™s real.

One Way to Keep the Magic Alive

I would have explained to them that, no, Santa isnā€™t a real person like me and you. He doesnā€™t really live at the North Pole with a bunch of cute little elves and reindeer, and he doesnā€™t really fly around the world in one night jumping down chimneys and delivering gifts. But Iā€™d also tell them that this is a magical story that a lot of people love to pretend is real when itā€™s Christmas time. However, this idea of Santa may be the way I break the news to Cohen.

Another mom shared this letter, and if Cohen asks again this year, I believe this is how I will respond, maybe not in a letter but with similar words.

Dear (Child),

You asked a really good question. ā€œAre Mom and Dad really Santa?ā€ We know that you want to know the answer and we had to give it careful thought to know just what to say.

The answer is no. We are not Santa. There is no one single Santa.

We are the people who fill your stocking and choose the presents under the treeā€”just as our parents did for us, their parents did for them and you will probably do for your kids someday.

This could never make any of us Santa, though. Santa is lots and lots of people who keep the spirit of Christmas alive. He lives in our heartsā€”not at the North Pole. Santa is the magic and love and spirit of giving to others. What he does is teach children to believe in something they canā€™t see or touch. Throughout your life, you will need this capacity to believe in yourself, in your family, in your friends and in God.

Youā€™ll need to be able to believe in things you canā€™t measure or hold in your hands.

Now you know the secret of how he gets down all of those chimneys on Christmas Eve. He has help from all of the people whose hearts he has filled with joy.

With full hearts, people like Mommy and Daddy take our turns helping Santa do a job that would otherwise be impossible. So no, we are not Santa. Santa is love and magic and happiness. We are on his team and now you are, too.

Letting Our Kids Make Their Own Story

So, whether your kids are on the cusp of seeking out the truth about Santa, or whether youā€™ve got a few more years of childlike innocence to capitalize on, hold this momā€™s words in your heart. You can empower your kids to spread love, joy and peace, and the true meaning of Santa.

When it comes down to it, the most important thing isnā€™t whether Santa is real or not; itā€™s all about the space you create around the story. Ultimately, the way you deal with Santa in your home is a very personal choice and something you have to decide for yourself.

Mallory Connelly

Mallory Connelly

Babies & Toddlers

In addition to the time I devote to being a mom, I also work full-time outside the home, which means my day is hardly ever as simple as nine to five. With an all-too-established schedule, as soon as I walk through the door, my day doesnā€™t end, but rather just begins. Itā€™s a balancing act, especially with two children, but being a mom is one full-time job that I never want to quit!

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A Progressive Grandma, Thatā€™s Me!

A Progressive Grandma, Thatā€™s Me!

by | Nov 8, 2021 | Grandparents

Iā€™ve always thought I was a progressive grandma. I have tried to model an accepting, caring, giving type of behavior. For years, I included the grandkids in my time volunteering with the Food Bank, Malone Center and Vacation Bible School. The grandkids stuck with me through thick and thin as we worked during rain storms, heat waves, and freezing weather during their summer and winter breaks. I wanted to make sure they knew there were people in the community who were in need and model for them ways to assist all Lincolnites. All four of them were troopers and I loved watching their growth for giving. I felt, and still feel, it was the best way I could be a good role model.

Changing with the Times

I recently sent the grandkids a picture of me volunteering at the Lincoln Food Bank filling bags of food for their Door Dash deliveries. They were amazed at the changes made within the past couple of years. Door Dash drivers deliver to seniors unable to leave their homes. How creative and amazing!

While we were discussing the changes made in the past several years, they all agreed things are vastly different from those ā€œoldā€ days and are thankful people are adjusting with the times. I silently wondered if they were referring to my ability to change with the times. I smiled and agreed we needed to keep up and adjust when needed. Internally, I thought, what the heck is going on?? We ended our FaceTime throwing kisses to the camera and looking forward to our next gathering.

Finding Where I Fit Today

Iā€™ve always thought of myself as the hip grandma. Then I realized no one in the world uses the word hip anymore, What the heck, where was my mind taking me? My mind began to search for a place of reference so I could capture the moment. What was going on? Where was I in the whole scheme of things? What did the grandkids really think of me during this time of social media and internet overload?

The next thing which came to mind was the Progressive TV commercials that challenge young people not to be like their parents. What? I then gasped and wondered if my grandkids were worried about becoming their grandparents. I took a deep breath and realized they didnā€™t think they were becoming me, but they were teasing me in their own way. There were things they thought I was doing which were funny to them, but they were certainly not behaviors they were going to follow.

Continuing to Share in My Own Way

Live, Laugh and Love. Yes, I have a towel in our hall bath with those words embroidered on it. I thought it was fun and meaningful. I love including emojis in my texts to the grandkids. So what if I include a lot of hearts and smiley faces? I think they are cute. Confetti flowing in the text when someone achieves a goal is supportive and celebratory, isnā€™t it?

I asked my grandkids if I was acting old and causing them grief when I did some of these things. They laughedā€”notice no emojiā€”and shared that they appreciated my correspondence, and loved seeing my views. There was no ill will, just a great deal of teasing back and forth. We all agreed I was several steps behind their parents and multiple steps behind them, but I was not a loser. Our way of communicating is unique, and they agreed they would continue working with me to ease into a new method of connecting with each of them. Kind of a new way to Live, Laugh and Learn together, even if I am donating the towel to charity.

Nancy Becker

Nancy Becker

Grandkids & Grandparents

IĀ have four grandchildren ages 14-17. In some ways, Iā€™m a very typical grandma, always proud of everything the kids do and wanting to help support them in whatever way I can.Ā In other ways, Iā€™m not very typical. My goal as a blogger is to share my thoughts and experiences that I think are funny and meaningful as I adventure through grandmahood.

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When is the Right Time to Give a Kid a Cell Phone?

When is the Right Time to Give a Kid a Cell Phone?

by | Oct 25, 2021 | K-12

At what age should your child be allowed to get a cell phone? Talk about a loaded question, especially if you’re a parent arguing this point with your child who is upset that they are the only kid in school without a phone. Nowadays, the internet told me that the average age kids get a phone is between 12 and 13. With that in mind, parents are the best judge of whether their children are ready for a cell phone, and the lessons they teach about that readiness can begin at a young age.

When Is the Right Time to Get Your Child a Phone?

Just last week, I had eight of Cohenā€™s soccer buddies over and many of them had phones, some even had nicer phones than me. I was so surprised. And now, itā€™s the top item on Cohenā€™s Christmas list.

Allowing your children to have a cell phone is an extremely personal decision for every parent and family. Almost every expert, non-expert, friend and family member has an opinion on the subject and of course they are happy to share it with you.

Thanks to the well-publicized use of cell phones for safety reasons and school emergencies, parents understandably want their children to have access to the life-saving devices. And Iā€™ll admit, recently, there have been a couple instances where it would have been beneficial for my 10-year-old son to have a phone. Practice ended early and he had to wait for me to pick him up.

Determine The Function the Phone Serves

Not only is a phone on the top of his wish list but, of course, he wants a smartphone. He wants all the bells and whistles like his friends have. BUT does a cell phone or smartphone meet a need, not just for your child but for you and the family as well? I got a phone when I started driving but then again that was 20 years ago and a different time.

When I do go back to work, my son will be home alone for an hour or two after school and a phone would be nice. But for now, he can call me on the Ring doorbell, our Alexa, or through the kid’s Facebook Messenger App. All of these have worked for us so far but then again, he has to be home to use these devices.

My husband and I have discussed at length that Cohen may get a prepaid cell phone that can text and call so we both can stay in touch. He may not necessarily need a smartphone with apps and internet access. I fully expect pushback on this! Many prepaid cell phones are pretty cool these daysā€”they look cool, they take pictures, play musicā€”and have other different features but itā€™s not a smartphone.

Bottom Line: His first phone probably just needs to be able to text and call.

Set Some Ground Rules

This is still a conversation that continues in our household. My husband of course said, ā€œYou canā€™t just hand the kid a cell phone or smartphone and say, ā€œHave fun! Make good choices!ā€

His General Rule: Itā€™s much easier to start out strict and loosen up as Cohen proves he is responsible than it is to start out loose and then try to reign him in. Make phone ownership healthy for him and in return, easy on yourself.

I admit that I am probably on my phone way too much at home. I am trying to be in the present but my phone is always next to me and on and I know my children see that. Modeling appropriate cell phone use, limiting access, implementing parental control settings, and teaching Cohen about the dangers of cyberbullying will also take place as soon as that phone is in Cohenā€™s possession.

So yes, come Christmas, Cohen will most likely be getting a phone. But with the phone comes a cell phone contract that stipulates appropriate phone use, grades, chores, behavior, etc., all laid out with all the consequences. Sign on the dotted line.

Mallory Connelly

Mallory Connelly

Babies & Toddlers

In addition to the time I devote to being a mom, I also work full-time outside the home, which means my day is hardly ever as simple as nine to five. With an all-too-established schedule, as soon as I walk through the door, my day doesnā€™t end, but rather just begins. Itā€™s a balancing act, especially with two children, but being a mom is one full-time job that I never want to quit!

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Small Changes to Make the World Better

Small Changes to Make the World Better

by | Oct 11, 2021 | Grandparents

During the pandemic, I tried lots of new things. I enrolled in many online lessons to stay active during lockdown. I also used these diversions to provide some levity to my grandkids’ lives. I didnā€™t expect them to take on my new challenges or learn new skills, but I wanted to provide a humorous moment and make them smile when they looked at my picture and read about my experience.

Doing Everything to Stay Busy

I took online tap dancing lessons. I tried new techniques for baking bread and crazy desserts. I exercised with YouTube Zumba, weight lifting, using dumbbells and yoga. Every new activity I experimented with taught me new skills and took up some of my ā€œdownā€ time. I have not continued with all of those newly acquired skills, but I have with a few. One of the new lessons I have continued to act on is one of learning about climate change and how I can support climate action in our community and country.

During the pandemic, I joined a committee at our church called the Climate Action Team. Through our monthly zoom classes, I learned about climate change in Nebraska, the United States and the world. The country has been divided for some time over many issues, even climate change. Itā€™s become so divisive the term climate change is often in question. Do we call it a climate crisis? Extreme weather? Global warming? Climate variability?

Asking for My Grandkids’ Opinions

I contacted my grandkids and asked what they thought about climate change. I asked nicely, knowing they are working and studying all of the time. Our zoom conversation went well, according to Grandmaā€™s standards. They were all attentive and didnā€™t leave the conversation. Not all of the grandkids were always actively involved, but they did give me their attention.

One of the major discussions revolved around why people donā€™t believe in whatā€™s happening in the world. For them, summers are hot and winters are cold. Theyā€™ve always worn shorts in the summer and winter, so whatā€™s new? They all commented on the increase in our national weather patterns. The number of hurricanes, floods and droughts all happening at the same time. A couple of them did admit they hadnā€™t paid any attention to what was going on in past yearā€™s weather patterns, but they did know the past year has been devastating. Although none of them had been personally impacted by these weather changes, they all knew at least one or two friends who have experienced a traumatic weather event. It did cause them to pause and reflect how these changes could impact them personally.

I then asked the grandkids what we could do as a group or as individuals. They each came up with some good ideas, including not using plastic bottles, walking when possible rather than driving everywhere, and doing a better job of recycling. All great ideas!

Making Simple Changes

I left my Grandma Zoom discussion with a couple of challenges. I asked them to continue to learn about these changes and take action to get more involved. I asked them to hope for the future of our earth so their grandchildren will not have to worry about the climate in their lifetime.

I closed with a reminder that when listening to a denier, find commonalities first. This is a good strategy in all areas of life.

Nancy Becker

Nancy Becker

Grandkids & Grandparents

IĀ have four grandchildren ages 14-17. In some ways, Iā€™m a very typical grandma, always proud of everything the kids do and wanting to help support them in whatever way I can.Ā In other ways, Iā€™m not very typical. My goal as a blogger is to share my thoughts and experiences that I think are funny and meaningful as I adventure through grandmahood.

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